[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

I left my abusive husband almost 3 months ago. Since than I have lost a job, moved into a 3 bedroom trailor with 8 people and sleep in my car. I have been trying to find a job since but no one will hire me. I have no criminal back ground, lots of experience but no one is hiring.

I've sold everything I own just to feed me and my daughter. Now after letting her father spend Christmas with her and his family, I can't get her back. He promised me the money he owed me when I picked her up from his parents but now he says he already left and forgot the money. So here I am with $30.00 to my name and my daughter in a completely different state waiting for me to pick her up.

I can't pick her up. I go there run out of gas on the way back than she and I starve to death because I have no money for groceries or diapers. I applied for food stamps and was given $180.00 a month for that but you guessed it, food stamps are out for this week and wont get any more until the 10th. Food stamps don't buy diapers.

How is saving my life ruining my life. How is it that when I do something good for myself, something to make me happy, that my life ends up getting worse than it was to begin with. With how tight money has been lately the thought to go back just so I didn't have to worry about startving has crossed my mind, but I wont do it.

What kind of sad world do we live in when the only way for a woman to keep her and her daughter alive is also a way that could end up killing her?

What do I do now? I can't pick up my daughter who I have only seen once in the last 17 days. My daughter who is my everything and my daughter who I should be able to take care of.

I sleep in my car in 20 degree weather, I've sold everything I own and I go days without eating because I have no money for food. Now I can't even get my daughter back. My world is falling apart before my eyes. I'm trying to pick myself up and get on my feet but it's impossible it seems. What do I do now?

[soupy twist]

Hi there,

I'm so sorry to hear about the hard time you're having. I don't really have any advice but just wanted to express my support.

[(JD)]

I'm glad you're physically out of the abusive relationship. I'm sorry you didn't have proper support in planning that escape.

Please find the local center that assists women in your situation. In Florida it's Women in Distress, in other areas it's called Domestic Violence Agency...etc.

The sooner you contact them the better, because they are a wealth of information regarding the laws and assistance available. I'm sure your spouse is continuing to emotionally abuse you through the keeping of your daughter etc.

It appears you have isolated yourself, taking all the "blame" that you spouse has heaped upon you, and have sunk into depression. Reach out for assistance now, please.

[cantstopcrying]

Absolutely contact a domestic abuse shelter, contact the salvation army, contact a church. You have done the right thing, though that doesn't keep you warm, put food in your belly or diapers on your daughter. I assume you have asked your husband to bring your daughter to you? Family...his or yours? Reach out to community services.

[NuckingFutz]

Can you check in? We want to know how you are doing.

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

I just wanted to check back in and let all know how I was doing. Some remember me from a previous name, some only since I changed it. With all of the support I have received here I feel the need to post an update. Even though it's a year late (sorry about that)

The past year I have been doing so much "soul searching" and self realization. I for the most part tried to stay away from this site, unless trying to keep in contact with some of the other members.

I try to keep off this site because I was trying to heal, trying to find myself but when you are surrounded by others experiencing things the way you are, and in other ways as well, it can be extremely benefecial but at the same time, it was a reminder of the hard times I was going through, a reminder of the state my mind was in when I left and a reminder that I never want to go back to that.

I did find a few jobs since this posting, I had to quit one due to poor business and the other due to an abusive boss, yeah my luck is bad even when it comes to work. At that point I was at the lowest since leaving. No job, no money for rent (which I did move into my own place with my daughter) and a psycho ex who kept making my bank account clean out and continuously called the police to the point where my boyfriend was arrested under false charges (which were dropped) I lost my car and pretty much hit rock bottom. Everything went spiralling down in just a short week. After that week I picked myself up, dusted off and prepared for another week alike.

That week (knock on wood) never repeated and everything has slowly began to pick up. Still only making $8 an hour as a single mom supporting 3 adults and one child, I have at least kept this job, without any real problems other than pay, for 5 months and going. We somehow manage to make it month to month although the bills over power my pay every check, but somehow we manage. And happily.

With the hard times, I know I'm not alone. After seeing my previous boss (the owner of the business I quit due to bad business) working as a bag girl (she's in her 50's) at Food Lion because her business went in the ground after I left, I realized I'm really not the only one hurting.

I know there is hope out there for myself and especially my daughter. I have met an incredible man who treats me like I'm so much better than any queen, I no longer hear voices or see things, I am off medication and as of this moment I am without any dramatic events in my life (knock on wood again).

It does seem though that my life is followed by these events. I have had a T tell me that with all the bad that has happened, the fact that I made it out in one piece every time shows that I have an angel watching me. He may be right or so I have the opposite watching me? Some cruel being who tries to bring me down but never succeeds. I like to think I have an angel instead.

Either way you want to spin it, I have decided on one thing for sure. My daughter, the precious 3 year old that lights up my day, no matter what it takes from me, will not endure what I have. I may not be able to give her everything I want or she wants, I may be poor and having hard times my entire life but my head keeps me going and my heart keeps me alive. My daughter will not feel this way. I will keep these horrific things from happening to her and I will raise her to have the strength knowledge and heart that it takes to face this world. Her fate will be better than mine and I will be sure the make that happen.

Who knows, maybe Gods purpose for my life is to raise this little girl the right way to show there can be an end to this cycle. My mom, grandmother, great grandmother... We all suffered so much abuse, not her. The cycle ends now and it took until this year to realize just how important my role in her happiness is. All the pain I suffered, it has shown me the mother I need to be and the mother I have become. My pain hurts but I will endure it to save my daughter from it!

Sorry for the long update, I'll hush now : )

[Kendyll]

Why are you supporting three adults?
Don't any of them work?

[whisperfades]

gosh that is too horribul .I wish i could help you

[piercepark]

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

I left my abusive husband almost 3 months ago. Since than I have lost a job, moved into a 3 bedroom trailor with 8 people and sleep in my car. I have been trying to find a job since but no one will hire me. I have no criminal back ground, lots of experience but no one is hiring.

I've sold everything I own just to feed me and my daughter. Now after letting her father spend Christmas with her and his family, I can't get her back. He promised me the money he owed me when I picked her up from his parents but now he says he already left and forgot the money. So here I am with $30.00 to my name and my daughter in a completely different state waiting for me to pick her up.

I can't pick her up. I go there run out of gas on the way back than she and I starve to death because I have no money for groceries or diapers. I applied for food stamps and was given $180.00 a month for that but you guessed it, food stamps are out for this week and wont get any more until the 10th. Food stamps don't buy diapers.

How is saving my life ruining my life. How is it that when I do something good for myself, something to make me happy, that my life ends up getting worse than it was to begin with. With how tight money has been lately the thought to go back just so I didn't have to worry about startving has crossed my mind, but I wont do it.

What kind of sad world do we live in when the only way for a woman to keep her and her daughter alive is also a way that could end up killing her?

What do I do now? I can't pick up my daughter who I have only seen once in the last 17 days. My daughter who is my everything and my daughter who I should be able to take care of.

I sleep in my car in 20 degree weather, I've sold everything I own and I go days without eating because I have no money for food. Now I can't even get my daughter back. My world is falling apart before my eyes. I'm trying to pick myself up and get on my feet but it's impossible it seems. What do I do now?

dont go back to your abusive husband , do u have any relatives you could stay with? there should be some churches or rescue missions that feed people. good luck. darryl.