[shelterdog71]

I am an idiot. Or am I?

I've posted several times about how much I despise my job. I'm on anxiety meds, blood pressure meds, and now I have an ulcer. I hate many of my coworkers, the work is boring and tedious, and the commute is a nightmare. HOWEVER... I get paid a fortune, have great benefits, can wear super casual clothes, get 5 weeks paid vacation, have tons of seniority and clout, and my bosses adore me and give me whatever I want. But that's how much stress and BS I deal with, that I would actually want to give all that up in this economy.

So I've been applying for jobs and have had no response. Then yesterday I get a call for a great job in a great location. I had an appointment to call their HR rep at 4:30. And what did I do? Had a mini panic attack and never bothered to call....

So here's my one big opportunity and I blow it. WHY???? The thought of having to switch jobs is overwhelming and made me physically sick. I have had so much stress in the past few years (serious family health issues, broke up with fiancee, etc) that I just can't even think about starting over again... no vacation, no clout, having to learn everything, meeting new people, new routine, new building, etc.. it's too much for me to mentally handle. Plus they would not pay me nearly what I'm making now and that's a big consideration because I pay a mortgage by myself.

And honestly when I really think about my job it's not that bad. I know I get very emotional and tend to overreact and be a 'drama queen' about things. I think most of my health issues are caused by my own stressing out over things that aren't that important. I should be happy I get paid this much to do boring monkey work and have everyone think I'm a genius. Plus it's a casual environment, there's a few people that are really cool and alot of fun, and most of my day is spent screwing around on the internet. I should not be complaining about my job one bit when there are so many others out of work.

Did I blow it? I'm trying to justify it by telling myself, "You already have a great job, let someone else who is out of work take this one!"

As always, thanks for listening!

[Caretaker Leo]

I don't think you blew it. I think that you are like many of us who are going through similar circumstances. Our age, gender and the current economy are factors in the anxiety associated with trying to make a job change right now.

Personally, I'm impressed that you have actually been applying for other jobs! While I updated my resume recently, I don't have the guts to actually send it out.

Many times over the past 5 years I have thought about changing jobs. Haven't moved beyond "thinking". I have a good salary, benefits, vacation time, and a commute that is under 1 mile.

Some days my job is fine - other days I hate it. Can't help but think it would be the same somewhere else...

You mention that your bosses adore you. Most days, mine adore me. But why?

I am choosing to just count the days until our mortgage is paid off. And then, I will retire from working.

[Perna]

I don't think you blew it; it's so easy to think that will be the last offer the one that got away, that we control it all (you might not have gotten the job or even wanted it, it might have turned out to be different than it seemed) and it's all our fault if it does not go our way. Sounds like you have enough stress at the moment, don't need to add a job change in there too. I think your mind-body did you a favor not calling.

[shelterdog71]

Once again, Thank you all for listening. Yeah, I don't think I can handle much more stress in my life now... the thought of changing jobs makes it even worse. And like you guys said, the job might NOT be what I wanted and I might even be unhappier there, plus I would be making alot less money. I guess I'll stick it out here as long as I can.

[pgrundy]

I don't think you blew it at all. It takes so long to learn a job, and most jobs expect SO much more than they used to, that changing jobs really IS stressful.

I think about changing my job every time they tell me I'm inadequate (I'm not, but they don't want to give out raises), but realistically speaking, there isn't much around here that's any better but there are jobs that are, unbelievably, even worse.

I agree with all the posters here who said lots of people are where you are right now. I totally get where you were coming from and have done exactly the same thing. Don't want to be unemployed, don't like my job, scared to change for fear I'll be in an even worse job.

That's it in a nutshell.

[pgrundy]

BTW I'm working minimum wage retail even though I have two college degrees, an insurance license, managerial experience, and computer proficiency in all the right stuff. It took me a year and a half to get THIS.

It sucks. I know I should be grateful and I kind of am but I kind of amn't, if you know what I mean.