stress, and I found my Mum's comment upsetting

I'm going through a VERY stressful time of it at the moment. My job is 99.9999% secure [for now] but I won't know for sure until a process is completed, a process public have launched in reaction to the impact of the recession on my department. It's VERY stressful. This process of deep insecurity has been going on for a year, and last week we thought we had some closure, and then, bam, limbo again.

Anyway. My Mum has this stock phrase she brings out when someone is going through stress. It's "These things are sent to try us." and the stock response is "And they do." It's said in a tone of voice that feels sarcastic and a culture of the victimised, as it were.
This morning my parents phoned, and I said about what's going on, and Mum came out with the phrase, and then Dad piped up with the response in the background.
Today I actually told my Mum how that phrase actually upsets me. I feel good about being assertive, but I also feel bad that I may have upset her. The phrase is meant to be a cynical kind of comfort, but I'm afraid it doesn't reach me. And, she's my Mum, wouldn't some "Things sound tough, I'm here for you" be more appropriate, or maybe I'm too demanding?

Well, you can't have dinner at my mother's house without her saying, "You wanna know how I cooked (the green veg)?" Just once, I want to scream NOOOO!!! It usually involves a jalapeno. Maybe that's why I'm fixated on this guy:

I hope your job stays safe.

Thanks hankster.
I'm not sure I understand the green veg phrase, but thank you.

Oh, sorry. It's HER stock phrase, it comes out every time we sit down? To where you're just waiting for that bomb to drop? I don't think she's aware of it, it's like a verbal tic. That's what it sounds like for your parents. An uncomfortable emotion comes up, maybe they feel helpless? and glad it's not them? And they say this thing in tandem.

Oh. Just like. My previous pdoc asked why I was always trying to make him laugh. Why didn't I ask him what he thought the answer was??? Stupid, stupid, stupid. But I think it's the same kind of verbal tic - I would see "danger" coming, an angry mother. Because it's truly odd to me, and i've been noticing this week to T, how this stuff - my little "jokes" - seem to just spring up out of nowhere. And it's worse, ie more jokes appear, when times are bad for me. When things are good, no stress? No jokes!

Sorry, didn't mean to hijack, but I guess I explained to myself why gwammy HAS to tell us about how she cooked the broccoli - it alleviates her anxiety about the dinner, or us, somehow.

So your parents are probably not going to stop saying their little catch phrase (and how cute of your dad to chime in, really - do they harmonize on other stuff like that? what a cute couple!) but I guess the main thing is, are they there for you? And draw boundaries as needed. Maybe you can't tell them about this because they really can't deal with it, where yeah, some other grown-up parents would be able to, but sorry, not ours. My mother - TERRIBLE advice. truly truly horrible. awful. I can't stress it enough. She's a GREAT cook - but if she's upset - you guessed it - do NOT eat the green veg. (dammit! there's the joke! is there such a thing as obsessive comedy disorder?)

Thanks hankster, the explanation and detail really helps.
And that's the first time ever my parents have been called a 'cute couple'.
They're just, well, not very emotionally mature.

And. I've not been in work since Wednesday. Today I was in, and had a voicemail to call someone in HR. And I am so worried and panicked. I hope it's something simple/a wrong number. I can't call them until Monday morning. I'm so scared.

Why must they make us sweat it out over the weekend?

My favorite Aunt's catch phrase was "you'll forget all about it by the time you're married." I know she loves me. I don't think she realizes that it makes me feel foolish. But when she uses it now I can say "I've been married for 25 years and it may seem small to you, but it feels pretty big to me right now."

Thanks.

Normally I'm in work on a Thursday, and would have picked it up then, but I didn't pick it up until yesterday. I'm hoping it was a wrong number - it happens all the time.

It's good to speak up about feeling undermined by these stock phrases.