Things are still the same and I am so scared...

Bruce is very sick.

He can't look for work now, or even do his taxes (from 2009 to present) and he is too overwhelmed to even think about it all.

My uncle is coming down in April.

I am waiting for him to come.

I am waiting for Bruce to get well and feel better.

I have never worked before and was diagnosed with three mental illnesses (depression GAD, and BPD), plus PTSD so I have stacks against me. I do not have any confidence yet. I can just see a boss leaning his feet on his desk, saying, "Now, Billi, do you think you can handle yourself?"

Also, I am not too healthy, either right now. I was going to explore the idea of joining a clubhouse (for mental health consumers) and maybe getting some job training (have no idea what!) helping bring some money in, but I have been in too much dental pain (not sleeping from that) and now very very exhausted from pain and lack of sleep. And half-sick too. That has to wait. Until I am feeling stronger.

I am holding on to the idea that things WILL LOOK UP.

But I am terrified that I am waiting for our money to run out and that we will end up on the street unless my uncle can help us figure out something in April.

I think we have at least one more month in our apt.

Oh, g*d...

Billi

Okay I will reply to myself.

"Billi, it will get better."

Billi, it will get better. Keep the faith!
Dental pain is awful; any chance that it can be taken care of soon?

thanks John.

I was kind of mad at Bruce because he got me all scared about only one more month for the apt. He told me that we had more time, at least until summer---my uncle will be laid up until then.

Bruce also said that he got upset because I was upset and that his fear fed on my own.

I told him that we both needed to calm down and discuss our situation objectively.

I am still not sure what will happen.

I told him that I was not going to worry about it until June. And that I did not want him to worry either.

Neither one of us is strong enough right now to worry.

I went to the dentist and the root canal dentist and they think that my issue is nerve, not dental. I hope I can get diagnosed by my new P. care doctor tomorrow.

Billi