OK, the job search is on. VocRehab told me I was not employable, and I have decided not to believe them. The challenge for me is disconnecting my self- esteem from it. I *know* I can work, but every time a company says to me, "We're not hiring right now," I am conditioned to translate this as, "We're not hiring YOU." I've seen it before--been turned down, and then shortly afterward saw some little teenager with a dress size in the negative numbers who's brand new at a job they had told me wasn't open. We'll see what happens.

[chroma66]

I'm in my early 40's and going through the struggle of getting another job. No degree, few computer skills....Over the last few years I've gotten used to having bosses half my age.

Anyway...have you considered working at a mellow retail job, like a health food store or a coffee shop? Just as a stepping stone. You know what they say, it's best to have a job, even alow status one, when looking for a job. Just stay away from deli type jobs,those are the worst! Good luck and take care.

[Strive4health]

I think disassociating your self esteem from the job is a good way to go. I see a job as a means to an end. In no way should a job define my self worth or WHO I am. If an employer doesn't want to hire me, fine. I have learned I need to move on.

I wouldn't mind working under a 19-year-old supervisor, as long as I get a paycheck.

[waterknob1234]

Good luck with your job search. I am doing the same. I have a job I am not happy with so I am looking for another. Keep up the search and good luck. You have the right spirit and attitude.

[waterknob1234]

Oh, by the way, I love your picture of mama cat with her kittens and the cute note attached with the picture.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by Lovebird

OK, the job search is on. VocRehab told me I was not employable, and I have decided not to believe them. The challenge for me is disconnecting my self- esteem from it. I *know* I can work, but every time a company says to me, "We're not hiring right now," I am conditioned to translate this as, "We're not hiring YOU." I've seen it before--been turned down, and then shortly afterward saw some little teenager with a dress size in the negative numbers who's brand new at a job they had told me wasn't open. We'll see what happens.

If it's the exact same position, it could be age discrimination.

But that, along with many others types of discrimination, is so hard to prove. They suddenly decided they "are hiring" when it's obviously someone much younger.

[Bolivar83]

Dear Lovebird: good strategy (disconnecting esteem from job search). Like others here, I'm in my 40's, returned to school to get my BA. Still need to work, though, and am having many of similar frustrations.

It's a tough market right now; that you are getting interviews is a great sign.
You seem to have good determination and outlook - this will be attractive to an employer.

Agree with Strive4health, -defining work as a means to an end; it's not who you essentially are.

Wishing you the best! Take care - Bolivar

[Perna]

Originally Posted by Lovebird

but every time a company says to me, "We're not hiring right now," I am conditioned to translate this as, "We're not hiring YOU."

Turn it around. Decide specifically what you want and be picky about it and go to some interviews where you decide that job is not the job you want. I deliberately took part-time, seasonal, jobs for 10 years to practice interviewing and picking a job and then ending it when it no longer was what was part of my plan. It is a two-way street and can build self-esteem if you can realize you don't want to be just a young teenager with a negative dress size, that that is not you so that job is not one that you would like either.