[Little Jay]

I feel like such a baby, I nearly end up crying when I get off the phone to him. He's the kind of guy who thinks he is in charge, despite being told many times that he is not.

Yesterday, he rang saying he is taking the afternoons this week off because his children are not at school (he works from home, and he shouldn't really be just doing that if he doesn't make up the time). He was asking me to do one of his jobs for him, to which I stressed I am extremely busy, (I;m an app developer and have my deadline coming up, plus my holiday for two weeks starting next week, so really don't have time - he didn't care how busy I was, and said he wanted me to do it. I had no choice but to reluctantly say okay.

As the day went on, I was so busy, plus the other woman in the office is off this week so I've been having to deal with incoming phone calls and stuff. So I've been so stressed and so busy, I completely never even thought about doing what he asked. I even have been staying late at work lately I've been so busy.

He rang this morning being so horrible demanding to know why it hadn't been done, and if he asks me to do something he expects it doing and that it's "just not good enough" etc.. I again explained how extremely busy I am, and that I don't have time. His reply was that it doesn't take long at all etc - which I felt like replying "well if it takes such little time why can't you do it yourself then!!" I was so angry, but also upset as well. I work extremely hard, and always do above what is expected of me - he is known for just trying to pass everything off onto other people and thinking he is in charge or something.

He then told me he wants it doing, so I now have to take my time to do it all this week, when I already have been having to stay behind at least an extra hour (which I don't get paid for or anything, I do it off my own back because it would look bad on me if I miss the deadlines). He didn't care how busy I am, he thinks whatever he wants is more important - it's only posting a few things on social media, it isn't even important, but it takes a lot of time.

It didn't matter what I said to him, so now I don't know what to do. I obviously have to do it now, but I feel as if then I am accepting I am going to let this horrible man walk all over me. He is one of them people who thinks he is all posh and better than everyone else and I hate it. It's not just me that doesn't like him either, but I feel like just because i'm the youngest that he feels he can walk all over me. I don't know what I should do.

It's really frustrating dealing with people who don't know their place! Why is he surprised by the result when you clearly told him no from the beginning & that you're busy? Hope you get through fine

[Little Lulu]

I assume this guy is not your manager. If that is the case, then maybe it is time to either talk directly to this guy (that would be best) and tell him that your work assignments should come directly from your manager, not him OR talk to your manager and ask that he/she make your work assignments, not other staff members.

This guy sounds like a bully and will probably take advantage of you until you either blow him off or take it to management.

((((Little Jay)))) A good work environment can be such a source of joy but a bad one can wreck your psyche!

[Little Jay]

Thank you,
I guess one perk of being the baby of the office is that everyone is there for me. I've spoke to a couple of others in the office and they've been somewhat protective of me, so hopefully it will all be sorted. I hate working with someone like that who makes it horrible for everyone.

[JustBryan12345]

I been there. A lot of people have been where you are. Hang in there and understand people like that need to act like that. Because they "Need" to feel a power trip to make them selfs feel like there important. Pray to God about it, that's what my mother did for me. He was gone after a month. Moved to a new store.

[Regina Flume]

We always have to remember not to take things personally at work no matter how much you deal with difficult people. It'll be hard, but since this guy isn't your boss, and you already told him no, bring it to the attention to your boss or someone near that level who works in your team. It should at least alleviate the stress and frustration you are harboring due to this guy. Stay strong, you'll be fine.

[Little Lulu]

Wow ... the power of prayer and faith. Thanks JustBryan! I needed to hear that.

[nicoleflynn]

Pray and read "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans; it saved my life afrer 31 years of verbal abuse. Knowledge is power!

[Regina Flume]

We always have to remember to not let our emotions get in the way at work. I think this can be a complete downside. Talk to your boss or someone of that nature in charge of you/team and bring it to their attention. It should at least alleviate that straining issue. This will help you focus on your own projects and tasks. Hope this helps

[hvert]

Wow, this guy is bossing you around and he isn't even your boss?? Does your boss know about this? The boss may have a big problem with this. Good luck -- it sounds very frustrating.

[jadzea]

He is not your supervisor. He is a coworker. He can ask a favor of you but you do not have to agree. Write him note telling him you appreciate his need for you to help him but, as you said, you are too busy and the work will not get done. In the end he is the one that will get in trouble for not doing his work, not you. Then, concentrate on your work and forget about it.

[tipper1492]

He is a controller and will only get worse. Never marry such a codependent person or your life will turn sour. Stay away from him as much as possible. Or get a restraining order to protect you, maybe. He sounds very dangerous to me. I would always keep some friend up dated with his last habits.