[confused1090]

Hey everyone, I am new to forums and just wanted to get some advice. It would be greatly appreciated. I am lost at the moment. I am from the Chicago suburbs and grew up there all my life. As a kid I was always depressed and couldn't wait to finally grow up and be on my own. I went away to college and worked to put myself through school and was successful. I ended up studying something that I really didn't have a passion for but continued on because I knew it would benefit me to find a good job. When I finished school I accepted the first job out of college and was beyond miserable. I hated the long hours, the lack of appreciation, and the grueling affects it took on my physical and mental health. I put up with it for a few long months but finally had enough. At the time I was sharing my house with my roommate who really was my only friend as I am not that great at socializing. After awhile he found a girlfriend and moved on so I was definitely happy for him however it left me extremely lonely once again. I became so unhappy that I finally just quit my job and decided that something needed to change for myself without having a plan. I grew to hate being in the Chicago area and knew if i stayed nothing would change for me. Right after I quit my job, I lost the house I was renting and had to find something to move on to. At that time, I had a dog who is my only companion and I love him to death. Its nice having him because no matter what he loves me and will always want to be there with me to lick my face and wag his tail knowing that he is with his best friend as well. However, upon losing my house I had no where to go at the time with him and I refused to give him up. I traveled for a few weeks trying to find someplace in the country I thought i could settle down but just couldnt find anyplace that felt like home. I ended up having a setback while traveling which ended up draining all of my funds and sent me back to Chicago. While in chicago I found a place to stay for a few days, however the pup was not welcome so I had to find someplace to go. The only option in order to keep my pup with me was to move out to Colorado and stay with my mom and her boyfriend, however that situation is hostile in itself. I have been here for two months trying to find a job however I absolutely dont like Colorado and feel more depressed being here than anywhere before. I am now completely lost because I have no idea what area would be right for me and what kind of job I want to pursue. I don't want to be somewhere completely remote however I am not a huge NYC, LA, Chicago person either. I want someplace that is affordable with great scenery. I want to be able to find a decent job where I can put my college degree to work- (business degree). The pressure to get out back on my own is mounting and I want to provide for myself and my dog again however I have no idea where to turn. My job search thus far has been very confusing because I dont know what I want to do or where to go. I rack my brain trying to figure out a solution however nothing comes to mind. Has anyone every struggled to find themselves and the right location to be in? How did you come to that decision? If you tried to move how did you go about searching for a job? Did you find happiness? Did you have to cope with loneliness? I can't just pick up and move to a place than hope for the best in finding work because my finances are tapped out. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Soul searching is a very difficult process. ThanksN

[CANDC]

Used to get a temporary job and start building a bank account of $1000 - 2000 dollars. Maybe you could find a good home for the pup and do what you have to to get to a place where you could support one in the future if you can't suppor it now.
Also helps to build your resume. Good time to read about different places. Wherever you go you will be taking your self so there is no perfect place. Colorado has many climates and types of environments. Maybe there is a place for you there.

[eggplantlife]

No matter what, please keep your dog. I left my dog behind and I regret it so much. Long story....but I thought I would get a job then have her with me. Its been 2 and half years...maybe 3 that I haven't been with her because I haven't a full time job and a home of my own. She has like 5 years to her life base on normal dog life. I'm trying to figure out how to be with her. I can't go back to the house she is at as my family don't want me back. I am in a different State so I can't go see her. I never realized how much I was going to miss her. And I never expected this outcome. I went to a different state that I once lived in without a job. I thought I would find one in few months but I didn't. So please find a job before you move and please keep your dog no matter what.

But from your post, it looks like you won't do that and you do have a head on your shoulder about financial matters. I'm not good at finance...so can't really help. All I know is what is your I interest. Try to get a job in that field. You like your dog so maybe something with pets? People recommend that kind of job for me to so forwarding that advice to you. You have business degree so maybe you will be able to get into any kind of field of interest in the business section or just go for a different field all together.

If you are moving to another State not knowing anyone, you are going to be lonely. I moved in with my friend and her family and I feel very lonely sometimes. It's not so bad these days but it's still around. What I did was go to a church. A friend have told me to do that but I didn't want to as it wasn't my kind, but I was so lonely that I did. I dont have much in common with them, but they have been friendly to me. So that might be a way to meet people. Of course, as a dog owner, you get to walk your dog so you meet people. The little job that I have, I haven't gotten to know the people. But most likely when you are working you will meet people.

But then maybe being surrounded by people aren't your problem, but you just feel lonely.

It looks like you need to stay where you are for now. You need to save money. I'm in the same situation. I don't like where I am now, but I can't move to another state because I don't have the money and I have a friend here.

This is advice given to me. Find any job for now. It is not permanent job so don't think of it as so important. But if concerned about resume building then it should be in your field. Save money for 6 months to live off if moving to another state. It is so you have money for rent and stuff while you look for job if you move there.

How does Portland, Oregon sound? It's smaller than those cities you mentioned and it has nice scenery and I believe young people. If that kind of weather don't bother you.

Colorado is suppose to be really beautiful. It is also a very spiritual place. It's been only 2 months but have you checked out places around there going on adventures with your dog. I once thought about moving there with my dog, but when I found out they kill pit bulls there so I couldn't go there. I do believe there are a lot of people who does soul searching there...so it seemed to me. It took me few months to get used to this state. I was feeling real bad living here but I have no other option. I was thinking yesterday to look up more info about this state since I'm here. One of my main problem is I don't have a car and I don't drive. Here you need to drive everywhere. If you don't have that problem, you can venture out and see what your state has to offer.

[eggplantlife]

Also, these days with video interviewing they say that you can get a job from where you are. Still good to have money saved up before you do any move.

[eggplantlife]

Soul searching takes a long time and it takes you in many roads. For me, it have been in many bad roads without money or even a place of my own. You don't want to soul search that way. I really don't want anyone to soul search that way. Then maybe some people might like that. I don't.

I think once on this soul searching road, it is for lifetime. It's ironic that I decided that I want to find happiness and I ended up losing a lot...like my marriage, my family doesn't talk to me, I gave up my job, i lost my creativity, I had to leave my dog behind... Even though i was upset, I kind of had more happier back then....sorry, about my sad post. ... What I have read are that there are people who are happy with their soul search. They found what they enjoy. It may not be what you went to school for. It might be something totally different. Be open to it as it might give you what you are looking for. May it happen to you.

[sans]

These are all great suggestions. Nice to know there are other free spirits out there! I guess it's all a part of the journey. To find yourself, sometimes is a lonely adventure. After all, we came into this world as one, and will leave the same way. It's good to find comfort in being alone.
I like the suggestion about doing something that you enjoy. That is a good first step to finding happiness on a day to day basis.
About the where to live part...that's the most exciting part of the post. You get to choose where you want to live your life. If times are tough, maybe staying put and making steps to save and research is a great start. It may be tough with family dynamics, but you are fortunate to have the opportunity.
Wishing you all balance and harmony in all you do.

[eggplantlife]

Originally Posted by sans

These are all great suggestions. Nice to know there are other free spirits out there! I guess it's all a part of the journey. To find yourself, sometimes is a lonely adventure. After all, we came into this world as one, and will leave the same way. It's good to find comfort in being alone.
I like the suggestion about doing something that you enjoy. That is a good first step to finding happiness on a day to day basis.
About the where to live part...that's the most exciting part of the post. You get to choose where you want to live your life. If times are tough, maybe staying put and making steps to save and research is a great start. It may be tough with family dynamics, but you are fortunate to have the opportunity.
Wishing you all balance and harmony in all you do.

I don't understand why people say we come into this world alone or as one. We came into this world by a mother. She was always there. We also came into this world because 2 people came together or whatever means to come together. We came through with help from people. When we leave, it might be different. You don't know but there might be people around. In afterlife stories, they say that love ones wait for you on the other side. So overall, I don't think we are completely alone...but we do feel lonely. Let the feeling pass.

I find this journey scary as I am older, but I am learning not to be. Go into all this with positive feeling and thoughts. When situations get tough like with your family, stay strong and see something positive from it. You don't know it but sometimes that thing that doesn't work out leads you to something better.

[dedicated]

I lived in southern California's 3rd fast growing city in the 2000s for over 21 years where my entire family (dad, bro and sisters with family) lived since migrated in USA from another country. I didn't have problem getting jobs because I wasn't picky, I wanted to earn to survive. I was a professional engineer when I left my country but worked as janitor when I arrived in the US. I didn't stop job applications. I was hired as cashier in the convenience store then moved up to managerial position but still wanted to work in the engineering field. It took me 4 years before I landed in engineering job. It was a long drive but it was worthy to get experience. It took me another 4 years to be able to be in my engineering discipline. My career progressed so fast that I ended up to be a Consultant Project Engineer in a government agency. Well, worst economy affected California in 2010, land development stopped in a wink of an eye. The agency didn't have anymore projects for me to work on hence, my contract wasn't renewed in early 2011. What did I do? I decided to pack and hit the road eastward. My entire family was in disbelief that I can do that. They were begging me to turn around and go back. I didn't listen, there was no way I could be unemployed, not in my vocabulary. I ended up settling here in Kansas where I found a job. I was offered 1/3 of what I used to make in California but standard of living is way lower than Cali. I was a complete stranger in this place but I admired people's friendliness and hospitality. They are so nice that seemed had known me for a long time when I first arrived here. Chamber of Commerce assists migrants in Kansas. I love this place. This place is 5 hour-drive away from Denver. I am renting 2-bedroom house on a quarter acre lot for $500.00 a month. Total around $650 including utilities. Should you need my assistance, please do not hesitate to contact me here. BTW, I have dogs too.

[Mustkeepjob32]

dedicated,

Your post is really encouraging and you obviously have a natural drive that has helped you along the way. You seem to find the new door when the old one closes.

[dedicated]

Originally Posted by Mustkeepjob32

dedicated,

Your post is really encouraging and you obviously have a natural drive that has helped you along the way. You seem to find the new door when the old one closes.

Thanks for the feedback. I'm not sure if I have natural drive but maybe:
- because I consider disasters or failures in my life as challenge by my Creator that when I overcome, they make me stronger.
- because I had been independent since I was 9 years old.
- because I believe that I have talents that some companies out there would be able to make use of them.
- because I don't want my knowledge and abilities to become useless.
- because I pursued a career of my choice that I have passion doing the job not doing a work, not like my siblings who pursued careers by my grandparents' choice
- because life is short, I want to enjoy life while doing the job and being helpful to others.

[Mustkeepjob32]

Your worldview is what makes you succeed in whatever you do. I too don't want my training and career to go to waist. So I guess the only way for that not to happen is for me to work.