going back to work soon

Is there any way that they can extend your disability due to the stress? I did what you did - I took several weeks off and couldn't go back. I had to beg my Psychiatrist to give me one more month and then I found another doctor.
I really feel your pain 'cause my SDI is almost up and I, like you, have to get a job that pays enough to cover my overhead. I'm single and 57 so it's all up to me. There's a book I'm reading called "Whistle While You Work" and it describes how to figure out your gifts and passions and concentrate on those during a job you don't like. It also talks about using those skills/passions to find the job that is your calling.
I'll be thinking of you. Sometimes the anticipation is worse than the real thing. But, I think when you can you need to find your passion and follow it.

Scooterb

Like Scooterb said, sometimes the anticipation is even more hell than actually being at the job. Did you say you work night shift and you open the building and you're alone for an hour or two before anyone else comes in? Does that help you or make it worse? Because that would be heaven for me personally - to get the whole place by myself and not have to deal with anyone for at least an hour while I settled down.
No matter what happens you WILL get through this. Do little things at work that make your day more enjoyable like listening to calming music if you can, using other sensory therapy methods like what the other poster said about aromatherapy scents, or using anti-stress tricks like a stress ball.
Side Note: I believe our body is extremely intelligent and it makes us feel that intense anxiety in order to steer us into better positions in life and away from the positions that cause that stress in the first place. For example - I can't be around people without getting really uncomfortable at work. I need to find jobs that are mostly solitary and require my creativity or attention to detail or privacy and a quiet environment. If someone placed me in a chaotic job that required talking to a bunch of people and having zero privacy I would run out of there faster than a scared animal.
This is because my body knows whats best for me even if sometimes my mind doesn't.