[BBB2]

Okay, so I have 2 part-time jobs and work 7 1/2 hours most days.
In the first job I work in a supermarket 5 – 9 am. Then I go to my 2nd job at a nursery in a non-teaching role.
I want to quit my supermarket job and only work at the nursery because:
1.) I’ve been feeling more socially isolated because I have to go bed so early to be up on time. I used to do volunteer work at night, but had to quit when I joined the supermarket. Sometimes I would see friends. Life is less enjoyable now.
2.) It’s a dead end job and I would like a more full-filling job.
3.) It’s almost Christmas and working Christmas in a shop is horrible.
4.) I’m only just accepting the fact that I probably have social anxiety. The job at the supermarket has little social interaction. But, really I feel that I’m trying to hide from the world. That’s not how I want to be.
5.) I’d have more opportunity to further my career in education.
6.) I would more time for hobbies.
7.) I’d have every weekend and regular holidays to recharge and feel safe at home.
The cons are:
1.) I earn my most money from the supermarket. Unless they give me more hours at the nursery (I think this is likely).
2.) My hours at the nursery are likely to change.
3.) My social anxiety will probably flare up given the high level of team work and communication required.
4.) To continue training I’d have to train and work in different nurseries and schools. I’m very settled at my current nursery.
5.) Change is scary and I’m going to have work hard to overcome my social awkwardness and anxiety. I also need to learn to cope under pressure. Yeah, it’s going to be tough trying to come out of my shell.
I’m scared because I have never felt completely settled in a job. My anxiety seems to tell me lies about what I’m actually suited to. I want a career. I want a challenge. I want to work hard and be proud of myself. But, my anxiety keeps telling me that I’m ugly and useless. At least in the supermarket I can hide away, people don’t expect much out of me and it’s a solid job with plenty of overtime. I’m worried that if I quit I will suddenly feel that I’ve made a big mistake and want hide back in the supermarket.
Any thoughts?

Hello BBB2: You certainly seem to have a solid perspective with regard to the pluses & minuses here. I'd like to commend you for the thoughtful way in which you are approaching this decision. And it is a tough one, given what you've written.

I'm a retired vocational rehabilitation counselor. So what you're asking about is something I know a bit about. You seem to have a really good handle on what the short-term options & obstacles are. So what I'd like to focus on is more the long-term.

You wrote you want a career, not just a job where you can hide from the world. I think this is great! One of the things employers look for is steady growth with few, if any gaps in employment. And when there are gaps, they want to be able to see that the gap(s) is / are understandable & that you've kept active while seeking new employment.

So from my perspective, one thing you should look at is: how will the decision you make now, regarding your job at the supermarket, look to future employers? If you simply quit your supermarket job, & your job at the nursery doesn't expand, it may begin to look like you were "withdrawing" not growing. A future employer may wonder why you would quit the job at the supermarket when you didn't have something better lined up to go to. You may try to explain this away. But that may just end up sounding like an excuse. And, in retrospect, you may begin to wonder yourself, if better opportunities don't present themselves.

Having written that, the first thing I would recommend is to try to line up some new opportunities before you quit the supermarket. Can you talk with your employers at the nursery about your desires? Is it possible to arrange for more hours, & perhaps expanded duties, at the nursery before you quit the supermarket? Or in the alternative, can you make arrangements to get a new or 2nd job with another nursery? Are there educational opportunities you could take advantage of if you weren't working at the supermarket?

Hopefully, you get the idea here. Whatever you decide to do at present, with regard to the supermarket job, you want to be able to look back & see a progression of increased hours & / or responsibilities over time. Avoid the urge to quit the supermarket job simply because it's isolating & because the holidays are coming up. Develop a vocational plan for yourself that gradually leads you in the direction of the career you want. Then, when you "have your ducks in a row", so to speak, go ahead & resign from your job at the supermarket. Your reasoning, with regard to this job is sound. But, before you make the leap, it's important to have something solid to leap toward. Does that make sense?

With regard to anxiety & hiding away at the supermarket, I'll just say that this is certainly important to take into account. You don't want to direct yourself toward a career that requires you to be "in the public eye", as they say, if interacting with other people regularly & in a professional environment makes you overly anxiety-ridden. That would be just setting yourself up for failure. If you have a therapist, this might be good to talk with that person about. There are programs that teach interpersonal skills too. It may be that if you learn effective interpersonal skills techniques, this may help to alleviate your anxiety.

Good luck!

[hannabee]

Nice of you to take the time to be of help Skeezs!

[BBB2]

Thanks for the long and detailed reply! I found your points really useful to read and definitely gave me some things to think about.
I'm going to be thinking about what I will do over the weekend and will re-read your post to make sure I've thought of everything.
Thanks again! You're a big help!

[Crazy Hitch]

Anxiety is hard but put that aside and your self confidence when making a decision.

You've made quite a comprehensive list.

Think about these decisions for a while before you come to a definite decision.

The decision you finally make should be one that serves you well both in the short term and long term.

Best of luck.