[purplemystery]

Let's say there is a job that you are very interested in. You read about the field all the time for enjoyment, and you think it is meaningful work that is in alignment with your values and makes a difference. But what if there are aspects of your personality that make the job very challenging, and you feel like you're not very good at it? Would you still want to do this job?

I am worried that I am not assertive, authoritative, and confident enough for my job/my field. I see others succeeding much more easily, and it can be quite difficult for me, though I of course have my certain strengths. I'm just not sure if I can ever learn to be assertive enough. My therapist did not offer her opinion as to whether or not she believes I could work in this field, though I suspect it is because she thinks I wouldn't do too well. It really saddens me because I feel like my life circumstances and family dynamics have led me to repress myself into submission, which is a hard habit to break. I want to feel good about myself, but of course I have to love something that I'm probably not good at. Do you think I can learn these traits, or is it too hard to change? At what point do you keep trying to improve, and at what point do you recognize your limitations and give up?

[jelly-bean]

I don't think you should ever stop trying to improve yourself. I was told by my father from the time I was a toddler "You can do anything you want to do if you want to do it bad enough". I live that and believe that and I think if you want a job in a certain field of work then you should go after it! Do what you need to do get that job! It's yours and it's waiting for you.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by purplemystery

Let's say there is a job that you are very interested in. You read about the field all the time for enjoyment, and you think it is meaningful work that is in alignment with your values and makes a difference. But what if there are aspects of your personality that make the job very challenging, and you feel like you're not very good at it? Would you still want to do this job?

Do you think I can learn these traits, or is it too hard to change? At what point do you keep trying to improve, and at what point do you recognize your limitations and give up?

Seems like you definitely need to get that job. Don't doubt yourself before you even succeed. When you find that job that you really love, you'll surprise yourself at how well you do. Can you learn the traits you need? You bet you can. It doesn't matter how old you are or how brown your hair is or whatnot, you can learn them and excel at them.

Never quite trying to improve. Limitations are nothing but hills in the journey of your life; a little climb to overcome them, but a smooth ride on the other side.

[hvert]

I think being assertive and confident is going to help you succeed in any field -- so you might as well go after the thing you love while you try to improve those skills.

[gloamingone]

When I changed my career from accounting to grooming, I wasn't good at grooming dogs at all. I was LOUSY. But people didn't mind, because I would treat their dogs really well, and I had good customer service. Eventually my grooming skills got better, but my main draw is my rapport with dogs and clients.

So even though I'm not the best technical groomer, I do have great qualities that make me fantastic for the field.

Keep that in mind--you may think that you don't have the right qualities for the job, but there are probably other great qualities that you can bring to the table. Good luck!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by purplemystery

I am worried that I am not assertive, authoritative, and confident enough for my job/my field.

You've gotten great advice and encouragement. May I add that being assertive and confident definitely would come with practice, and the little motto of "success breeds success" will be very handy and you WILL see it in action.

Not so sure about authoritative. This seems more a personality trait than a skill. Assertiveness and confidence can be viewed as skills, and skills can be acquired. It is harder to acquire a trait that you do not possess than master a skill.

But I doubt that it would matter for you whether you are authoritative. I bet that being assertive and confident would suffice for your purposes.

[offthegrid]

You don't have to be "type a" in order to be successful (though sometimes I doubt that myself) but you do have to be persistent. You gain confidence the more you learn things so keep doing whatever you want. If you genuinely enjoy it and put yourself out there, things will line up.

[Crazy Hitch]

Start at the bottom and work your way up to the top. Learn from the leaders.

There are courses you can take in things like public speaking, leadership, assertiveness etc.

Maybe if you're that hesitant start small and then aim for bigger steps.

Don't let your self confidence hold you back.

[purplemystery]

Thanks so much, everyone. You definitely gave me a pick-me-up, and this was what I really needed to hear. Maybe it doesn't come naturally to me, but I have only been working in the field for 6 months, so I'm sure it will take time to learn, even if it takes me longer than it would take others.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by purplemystery

Thanks so much, everyone. You definitely gave me a pick-me-up, and this was what I really needed to hear. Maybe it doesn't come naturally to me, but I have only been working in the field for 6 months, so I'm sure it will take time to learn, even if it takes me longer than it would take others.

they say that it takes 6 months, on average, to learn the ropes in a new position. I do not know what kind of data went in to "prove it", but I have heard this mentioned a whole lot in different companies.

Well, assuming that it is true, if 6 months is MEDIAN, then 50% of folks take longer than 6 months to learn the ropes.