[growlycat]

Originally Posted by nonightowl

Not only are there are a lot of people, employers want "extroverted, bubbly, vivacious, energetic" people. (And these are not sales jobs) It's like if you're not the Energizer Bunny, you can't do the job. They should just say "Introverts and unemployed need not apply".

I am an introvert and I would suggest treating the interview like acting. Be what you think they want you to be. You only have to put on a show for as long as the interview lasts. Once you get the job, no need to change your personality.

One of the job search classes I had taken was actually run by two ex-actors. It really opened my eyes that it is all a game that needs to be played.

[OneInBillions]

Maybe I shouldn't post here because I'm not really doing all the "right" things that you suggested. I just feel incapable of them. I'm absolutely terrified of interviews, of being judged by people... It's part of my anxiety and depression. And I'm extremely bad at even basic social interactions so networking is like this impossible thing for me. Oh, and I've always HATED how I look in a suit! I'm fat and it just looks dumb.

I don't think I'm lazy, though. I've been actively working for my parents -- I run all the errands, clean the house and cook the meals. They say they're grateful... But I still feel like a useless, broken person because I don't even know where to start looking for a job. I got an English degree because I love literature but in the real world it's not of much use. I worked as a Copywriter for a big company for 5 years and hated every minute of it, it was so incredibly boring. I know I don't want to do that again... But I don't know what else to try. And I don't think anyone would hire me because I'm 30 and have only held one job in my life, though I did two internships with the same company in college. And if I'm terribly nervous and can't even speak in the interview I don't think I have much of a chance. Plus the morbid obesity thing -- with the health craze these days they'd probably deny me just on that basis, because they think I'll be a liability.

I suppose this all means I should go work at McDonalds or Walmart or something but I just couldn't do that. I can't do a job where I interact with people -- I tried once and failed miserably.

[growlycat]

I hope people don't misunderstand me. I know firsthand how hard you have to work to get a job--I personally think it is MORE work than having a job. I haven't met a lazy unemployed person.

(I'm heavy too and I do understand how it can work against you)

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by OneInBillions

Maybe I shouldn't post here because I'm not really doing all the "right" things that you suggested. I just feel incapable of them. I'm absolutely terrified of interviews, of being judged by people... It's part of my anxiety and depression. And I'm extremely bad at even basic social interactions so networking is like this impossible thing for me. Oh, and I've always HATED how I look in a suit! I'm fat and it just looks dumb.

I don't think I'm lazy, though. I've been actively working for my parents -- I run all the errands, clean the house and cook the meals. They say they're grateful... But I still feel like a useless, broken person because I don't even know where to start looking for a job. I got an English degree because I love literature but in the real world it's not of much use. I worked as a Copywriter for a big company for 5 years and hated every minute of it, it was so incredibly boring. I know I don't want to do that again... But I don't know what else to try. And I don't think anyone would hire me because I'm 30 and have only held one job in my life, though I did two internships with the same company in college. And if I'm terribly nervous and can't even speak in the interview I don't think I have much of a chance. Plus the morbid obesity thing -- with the health craze these days they'd probably deny me just on that basis, because they think I'll be a liability.

I suppose this all means I should go work at McDonalds or Walmart or something but I just couldn't do that. I can't do a job where I interact with people -- I tried once and failed miserably.

Have you looked into self-publishing (e-books)? I have a friend who does it on the side and sells via Amazon. I want to learn how he does it, I think he formats it in InDesign. But it sounds intriguing.

[CosmicRose]

I think you are very capable OneInBillions, I think its just a matter of confidence. Having confidence is what makes you feel more comfortable in your skin and being around others. That's what you should focus on, lifting your own self confidence. Confidence really has nothing to do with the way someone looks. It comes from the inside. It also can be a learned behavior. Just like anything else - such as anxiety, which is also learned as a survival mechanism. You can begin doing small things to get closer to your goals. You don't even need to have a firm goal in mind, just go in the general direction of what you want.

That's what I'm doing. I also suffer from anxiety, and I got home from an interview today that lasted two hours. If you knew how awful my anxiety is on a daily basis, you would think what I did was impossible. I was freaking out in my car while sitting in the parking lot prior to going in. There were 10 mins left til my appointment and I was on the phone with my parent trying to get them to calm me down or ease my nerves. But guess what? The interview went great. The interviewer was very nice and receptive and easy going - they made me feel open and comfortable against all odds. They weren't accusatory or harsh, they were friendly and supportive.

Often times, we assume the worst. We picture all the things that could go wrong. Its always much worse in our thoughts than what actually happens. Those horrible thoughts you have about those interviews? Guess what, the reality of those interviews are going to be over 50% less intimidating than you think. Today the interview was literally 80% better than what I anticipated. I was picturing the worst case scenario, even getting in trouble by the company because of a mistake on my resume - which they didn't even notice! I was picturing them kicking me out - this is how crazy my anxious thoughts were. None of that happened. Everything went great and I connected with the interviewer. We laughed and joked.

Go with the flow. I even told myself before going into the interview that if things got "really bad" I would just stop and tell them "I have an anxiety disorder. I need to go. Sorry to cut this short." I gave myself that option, it helped a lot.

[Walking Man]

I am frustrated beyond expression with trying to earn a living. I'm smart, polite, clean cut, responsible, have 9 years of college, a master's degree, and have worked a variety of jobs. I'm working from 6:15-10:00 AM in a kitchen, mostly washing dishes, and I'm grateful for the job. I really am.

It seems like I've been "typecast" in jobs that don't even require high school. The biggest problem is that I'm not suited to them. I have epilepsy, and had back surgery about six months ago. I recently applied for several jobs that could have changed my life. They weren't huge, just part time, but I'm not even considered. I was well qualified or overqualified. It's so discouraging. I have applied for disability. This has been going on for 15 years.

I tried going to school last year to get a vocational certificate, but had to drop out because of my back. I'm about maxed out on my credit cards, don't have a permanent place to live, have a lot of education debt, and feel like I'm headed for a crash soon.

[Smileonmyface]

i don't know what drew me to this post. right now i am home with my kids. i left my job a couple of years ago to relocate to a different part of the country where my husband got a new job after having lost his job because of unfair reasons. i dread the day i seriously have to get back out there and find a job but the clock is ticking when my youngest starts kindergarten i know hubby expects me to work. i can't blame him. if the tables were turned and he were home all this time i would expect the same thing.

the idea of finding a job again after so long terrifies me. the subject rears its ugly head whenever we end up talking about money and how our one-income state is temporary and that when i am working again things will be easier. it sends me into a frenzy of looking up stuff online about working from home, applying for ssi (which i know i wouldn't be able to get...), going on ebay to try to sell stuff, it's crazy. the last time i landed a job was over 10 years ago. and i just found out the other day that if i were still working there, i would be forced to re-interview and get my own job or face immediately getting laid off. tbh i don't think i could get that job again now. it's crazy. i pray for my old coworker going through it. i hope she can keep her job.
so yeah idk. i am a sahm so i guess that is a version of long-term unemployed. it is so scary out there. i wish i didn't have to deal with it again but i know i will.