[BrandonG]

Alright guys, this is actually my first post on these forums so cut me some slack. I am a 30yr old male that has had quite the experiences in job loss. I have been terminated from approximately 15 employers in the past 10 years, and the ones I didn't get terminated from, I just quit on. I have been diagnosed with anxiety disorder by my doctor. He is a general phd, not a psychologist. In my late teens I was able to hold a job, I actually ran part of a shop and was in charge of training new employees and doling out the work load. When I was 18 my father killed himself, we were separated from each other for roughly 7 years. I chose to live with my mother because of his abusive nature and drug/alcohol addictions. When I was 20 my mother accidentally overdosed and I found her lifeless, yet still warm to the touch. I performed CPR and so did the EMT's when they got there but there was nothing that could be done, she had been gone for to long. This wrecked havoc on me. I turned to a bad crowd, but eventually got away from all the ********. I couldn't handle it anymore and I was about to lose the love of my life because of these people. I chose to stand beside my gf now wife, and things have drastically improved over the years, but I cannot hold a job. After losing so many jobs, I have such a fear of losing the next one(the one that's not even there) that I don't even apply myself to looking anymore. I wait until bills back up to the point where I have to get out and join the work force again. It's a never ending cycle, find job, work for 9 months or so, then get fired. REPEAT. I can't take it anymore. I need some guidance on what I need to do or who I should talk to. Any and all help is appreciated. I am also very intolerant to people who have never lived a hard day in their life, this is probably one of my personality defects that causes me job loss's. I just can't relate to people anymore. Nor do I have the tolerance to try. I also cannot put up with being talked down to, I always pump my chest out because I was taught to fight at a young age. Don't let anyone talk down to you, stand up for what is yours. Treat people the way you want to be treated. I am very quite and will always look the other way when people act dumb or ignorant, unless it directly involves me, or goes against my morals/ethics. ex. making fun of people with physical defects or mental defects. These cases plus many more make me tend to fly off the handle. I'm lost, please help if you can.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

I am sorry to hear this. I think it is not uncommon and I have known some ex-prisoners I have worked with to have similar issues - anxiety/insecurity and subsequent anger/violence has led to their troubles with the law. It is possible to get help - perhaps someone here knows what is available in your region.

[CosmicRose]

What kind of jobs do you usually go after? Are they all the same, or are they different jobs? Have you just not found your niche? Do you have a degree? Are you taking jobs that have a high turn over rate, or even temp jobs? Part time or full time or both? It isn't uncommon to go through a lot of jobs before your 30s, actually. At least you probably have an extensive resume, so there's that. Perhaps you should look into going into a specialty? Or jobs that offer more security, or long term benefits, or a union? People often go from job to job throughout their 20s. It's usually only in their 30s or 40s they find any real solid stable work, at least that's what I've been told.

[anxteach]

I'm sorry you're struggling, Brandon. I'm glad you've made some good choices along the way that put you in a better position, but it sounds like life has been rough. Do you have a therapist that you could talk to, or could you find one? Sometimes therapists will run on a sliding scale for people without insurance. Maybe looking for a job where you don't have to actually interact a whole lot with people could be an option? Some people just prefer to work alone, there's nothing wrong with that.

[BrandonG]

I'm actually a master automotive technician, and in this industry there is an immense amount of turn over. Working in this industry there are a lot of guys who like to get wasted all the time and I do not like to partake in that behavior anymore. Therefor I am almost always outcasted because I do not like to partake in this lude behavior. I do have a degree in automotive maintenance technology, but its proving very hard to adapt to any shop environment because I seem to always butt heads with people. I do not have patience for ignorance while working in a shop, I work on vehicles that you drive, I work on vehicles that your children ride in. I do not have tolerance for lack luster behavior because your safety is in my hands. Nor can I stand around and watch two dip shits(excuse my language) screw around while changing the brakes on your vehicle. I have seen so many come backs because of immature behavior over the years, that I strive for perfection and ultimately demand perfection in the shops I work for. This also gets me into trouble, because when the techs do not listen to me, I will go to a supervisor, when the supervisor does nothing, I get angry and it almost always ends up in me getting fired, or I get stepped on by management so badly that it forces me to pack up my things and move. Yes, I do have anger issues, I am not afraid of confrontation, especially when it comes to the general publics safety. I am so anxious anymore, because I can already see the inevitable. Growing up so abruptly changed my mentality in a dramatic way. I see the world and the people in it in a completely different way. Death has changed my mental state, it made me a way more cautious person, but ultimately, it seems to be affecting my personal relationships because I cannot stand around idle while friends make bad choices. It affects my work ability in the sense that I do not want to see your family get hurt because some Cletus wasn't paying enough attention and left a wheel loose on your vehicle. I actually strive for perfection, but I get disciplined for it, more that I get commended for it.

[CosmicRose]

Maybe you could stay in a position long enough to move up to manager - and that's when you can actually start using your safety and confrontation skills when it comes to other people. Because people generally don't like being told off by someone who isn't their boss. So unless its something life-and-death related when it comes to working on a vehicle I would just keep my head down if I were you. Just show up to work, do your best work, and leave when your shift ends. Don't partake in anything that could draw you into starting a confrontation, no matter what the other guys are doing.
I have a mechanic down the street who works on my car and he's at least 45 years old, he seems very mellow and seems like the type of person who wouldn't tolerate working with jerks or guys who don't take their job seriously, but he also owns the place.
You just gotta find a place where you're more compatible working at. Guys can't be that reckless in every shop. I'm sure your next job, you'll find good guys there. If not, just look for another shop. Find shops with guys who are a little bit older maybe.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Perhaps you could look around for outfits that work to especially high standards and ask them to give you a try - sounds like they would snap up someone of your skill and experience pronto. But build a non-confrontational relationship with the foreman, so you can raise your concerns in a helpful way - they may not agree with you but that is the way it goes, and sometimes you have to swallow a little shite.

Another thing that occurs to me is that you might be the right kind of person to teach the apprentices or trainees - they might find you a bit intense but youth likes and respects 'characters'!

Then there is 'lad' or 'blokish' culture - be generous with them, young men (and many older ones are apt to be immature) but they mean well in their own way. Buy them biscuits (cookies in the American dialect I believe) or suchlike for the messroom once in a way - gestures make more difference than you might think.

[Little Lulu]

Have you thought of opening your own shop? Someone with your skills and standards would be certain to grow a good business.

How about working in an auto parts store. You might find the employees there a little more mature.

I like the teaching idea also. Best wishes - I hope your talent is put to good use in some way.

[hvert]

It sounds like you just haven't found an employer whose standards are as high as yours. I wonder if you could get work restoring custom cars? Someone somewhere will appreciate your level of attention to detail, the trick is to figure out who. Who repairs fire trucks? Or even race cars. I know this stuff is sort of out there, but I am trying to think of places where people really will care that everything is done just so.

Until then, your best bet, like someone else said, is to just keep your mouth shut unless someone's life is at risk. If someone wants to run a poor quality shop, let them. Just take the money and do your best. I also have a really hard time watching people slack off and do things inefficiently, but I'm getting better at just keeping it to myself.

Can you fix cars out of your driveway? I've known a couple of people who make a living doing that.

[SmileHere]

I can relate to the title of the thread. I didn't exactly 'lose' jobs, but we parted not-so-amicably in my last few jobs, although the contract ran out, and all was glossed over, I was glad to be rid of them, it's still a bit anxiety-inducing to think of a 'next' job.

Maybe by saying goodbye to those jobs that clearly didn't have your standards or wishes, you are opening doors to a new job/career that will be better? Could you open your own shop and be the boss?

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by BrandonG

Alright guys, this is actually my first post on these forums so cut me some slack. I am a 30yr old male that has had quite the experiences in job loss. I have been terminated from approximately 15 employers in the past 10 years, and the ones I didn't get terminated from, I just quit on. I have been diagnosed with anxiety disorder by my doctor. He is a general phd, not a psychologist. In my late teens I was able to hold a job, I actually ran part of a shop and was in charge of training new employees and doling out the work load. When I was 18 my father killed himself, we were separated from each other for roughly 7 years. I chose to live with my mother because of his abusive nature and drug/alcohol addictions. When I was 20 my mother accidentally overdosed and I found her lifeless, yet still warm to the touch. I performed CPR and so did the EMT's when they got there but there was nothing that could be done, she had been gone for to long. This wrecked havoc on me. I turned to a bad crowd, but eventually got away from all the ********. I couldn't handle it anymore and I was about to lose the love of my life because of these people. I chose to stand beside my gf now wife, and things have drastically improved over the years, but I cannot hold a job. After losing so many jobs, I have such a fear of losing the next one(the one that's not even there) that I don't even apply myself to looking anymore. I wait until bills back up to the point where I have to get out and join the work force again. It's a never ending cycle, find job, work for 9 months or so, then get fired. REPEAT. I can't take it anymore. I need some guidance on what I need to do or who I should talk to. Any and all help is appreciated. I am also very intolerant to people who have never lived a hard day in their life, this is probably one of my personality defects that causes me job loss's. I just can't relate to people anymore. Nor do I have the tolerance to try. I also cannot put up with being talked down to, I always pump my chest out because I was taught to fight at a young age. Don't let anyone talk down to you, stand up for what is yours. Treat people the way you want to be treated. I am very quite and will always look the other way when people act dumb or ignorant, unless it directly involves me, or goes against my morals/ethics. ex. making fun of people with physical defects or mental defects. These cases plus many more make me tend to fly off the handle. I'm lost, please help if you can.

Hi Brandon, it sounds like you have issues with anger and loss, big time. I'm so sorry for all the terrible things you've been through. Have you considered going into therapy or anger management therapy? That and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy might be just the thing that could help you maintain a steadier career path. Best of luck.