I work 60+ hours each week and I'm so tired

I really need help here, I am struggling on what to do and the advice I have received has been less than helpful from other places.

To protect myself, I will not reveal where I work or what I do.

My current job has me working 60+ hours a week, 6 days a week with only Sunday as a break. My contracted hours is meant to be 30 a week with Sunday and one other day off so roughly half of that. But the work we do is actually meant for people who work 40 or more hours a week. Bit complicated I know. Best way to sum it up, we work 30 hours, but are expected to work up to 40 and then any overtime if wanted.

I've always been a hard worker and wanting to prove that to my managers. So I have always wanted to be helpful when needed. Which has been my downfall here as I was out of work for 2 years and obviously want to keep my job by doing anything and everything I can. My nature has always allowed others to use and abuse me.

Because I've done this work, the managers assume I will always do it now and automatically put me down to work overtime (which is asked of me) and my day off (organised before even discussing it with me first). I'm always offered overtime which is nice because I don't mind working if it helps and the money is always useful. But it is everyday and constant. The next problem is that the overtime work changes without my notification. Usually I got told one thing, then it turns out to be something completely different, usually longer and harder, but still expecting it to be done in the same amount of time.

Lately I've been feeling exhausted, coming into work tired, no interest in anything. My life is work and recovery, no enjoyment. I am currently on a week off, and in that time I've felt anxiety and discomfort in my chest, around the centre point of my ribcage which has only just realised coming to the end of the week. I have found breathing a little uncomfortable. I have been to Doctors who cannot locate anything serious so I put it down to stress and anxiety.

My workplace is one of complacency and laziness. People don't want to work and just leave things for others (namely myself) and yet they get away with murder. Because I am 'last in' I get the impression it is expected of me to work (and there are other newbies who come in and nothing is said - at least not in my audible range). I get knowing glances and smiles that give the impression I am their work slut to dump things on whilst they wing their merry way home on time.

I am at the point of wanting to do something, but I am struggling. I know what I would like to do. I want to say no to the managers and for them to appreciate my response. But all I get when I do say no is guilt and grief as though I should be doing it. I want to quit, but I am frightened I won't get another job, and I also want to sort things out but fear for ridicule and bullying.

In my previous two jobs, I was bullied and stressed out because of a misunderstanding and twisting of my words. I am fearful of it happening again. Please any advice would be appreciated.

Hello Friend,

I too am rather meek when it comes to working and not wanting to say no to managers but allow me to say after being harshly screwed over by a large corporation that it is NOT worth it to sacrifice your own happiness to make good money for them and pennies for you.

Stand up for yourself and keep your prospects open, job hunt on the side if that needs to be done and if you're in the position to network with potential people whom could hire you in the future, do so.

Money is great but not worth hurting yourself over.

I hope you find the strength to say no,

- J

I've been a software developer for 23 years and can relate to virtually everything you said. I am very obsessive about detail and getting things correct the first time. I also have a neurotic need to be "nice" to everyone, to never say no, to be self-effacing.

At one media firm I was carrying so much of the load my 2 fellow software leads decided it was cool to just disappear for a month with their stripper girlfriends, no offense to strippers. As the work piled and piled up they partied away in Vegas. Nothing was said when they returned. At my current job a team of 15+ people were unable to resolve a database migration issue which had been their prime task for 3 years. It was quietly dropped on my desk one morning not as an assignment but as a "favor". I resolved it but that was not enough. So that upper management would think the work was THEIRS I was asked to provide it in pseudo-code which they sent offshore to be recoded. Of course they were all given huge bonuses and recognition for this.

So I understand the term "work slut" very well.

What you have described is the American corporate shark tank, in fact it's classic. Your managers and coworkers recognize your talent, but only as an opportunity to coast along on your back. The hours you described are not just insane but dangerous. A regular GP is not going to look beyond your blood pressure and heart rate so find a psych professional who will actually listen to what you are saying. As far as "sorting things out" I tried that a few times in good faith and was just labeled a complainer. Of course when I quit everyone said "why didn't you talk to us?".

You can't change that culture but you can change industries. Put your feelers out in some areas that are not known to be so brutal and that you might actually enjoy. Smaller companies tend to have less of the BS you are dealing with. Anything public sector is easy compared to where you are now, consider getting out of the private sector. I know it's easy to say this but what are the chances you'll be with your current firm 10 years from now anyway?

And get over the loyalty thing, be loyal to yourself. Let other people earn it.

I also read this and thought of IT/software I left one job after being completely burnt out working around the clock and was replaced by FOUR people. That made me pretty mad. I also find this playing out when I do volunteer work - I keep stepping in when other people are not doing their job, and I just wind up resenting everyone and quitting.

I have been steadily improving my boundaries. Stop working so many hours. Sign up for a class that makes you unavailable (or some other activity). But really, when it comes down to it, just start saying no to all this extra work. The job you are in right now might be okay if you aren't working yourself to death and don't feel taken advantage of.

Dear Daniel,

In February I quit my job - which I badly needed for the money - because of a similar issue. I had been doing the work of two people, for one paycheck, for a year and a half. When I was told that the boss refused to hire another person because he/she wasn't needed because I was handling it, I was frustrated, but could understand her evil ways. But then she started complaining that I was making people unhappy and wanting to write me up for poor quality work. At the same time I started noticing physical symptoms from prolonged stress.

I, too, have always let people abuse me because I wanted to be loved/accepted/valued/whatever. I am now wondering where the next paycheck is coming fro and I'm still not sleeping through the night, but - for me - it was the right thing to do. I am slowly returning to a semblance of health.

Trust your gut. Our bodies are smarter than we are sometimes.

Please feel free to write to me if you would like to discuss my experiences in more depth.

:/ H.

I had not heard the term "work slut" before, but that certainly does fit!

:> H.

Wow Danielm - gee that's serious hours you are doing at work and congratulations to you for holding your head above water because honestly not many are as strong as you and would have drowned from sheer exhaustion ages ago!

There's a large part of me that seriously questions the management in your organisation for having allowed this must strain in the work place to be placed on you because it's not right and it's not good for your own mental health.

As a poster above indicated = I really agree - I think that continuing to work these sorts of hours are not going to serve in your best interest in the long run.

Regardless of what transpires my wish for you is that you find the happy medium between money you need to earn and working in an environment that allows your mental health to be at peace.

May this all work out for you.

Hello there, gosh i'm soo sorry you working that many hours. You definitely should say something to your managers. Otherwise you will burn yourself out and cause yourself to get even more ill. I hope your able to resolve this.

I like what hvert said about "sign up for a class" or some other activity that makes you unavailable. Even if you don't really sign up for something, having that reason for being unavailable for the ridiculous imposition your employer is placing on you, this will be a legitimate excuse to not work so much overtime.

Also, and I say this from my own experience, taking a class is a great morale booster, something you do for your own self-improvement.

Like you, I have always been reluctant/afraid to say "no." Your employer doesn't care about you. It's modern day slavery. You alone must take care of yourself!

I'd suggest telling your boss that it's really important that you get [choose date here] off because you have a job interview.

Or asking your boss if he/she would be willing to be a reference for you on your resume.

If you boss asks why you're are considering leaving the company tell him/her that you are looking for a job that only requires 40 hours a week because the constant onslaught of 60 hours a week is leaving you feeling burnt out. That should get the message across!

I hope what I offer helps.

I also hope that you are getting paid for all the hours you are working.

I would like to suggest you approach this in a few ways:

If you have not already, start documenting what work you have been/are doing--do this at home. Be specific in the ways another employer would be interested in, for example, that you supervised, that you analyzed, streamlined, increased (whatever the company does or values) that you saved/made money for the organization, those sorts of marketable and desirable skills.

At the same time, do what one of the other poster says and get a doctor/therapist to write up that to address your chest pain your "prescription" so to speak is to take an exercise class/rest for half a day on Saturday/whatever seems to be workable. When I was in counseling, my therapist worked with me on the sorts of things I like to do -- it is likely your doctor/therapist will too.

The reason for this is two-fold. First you do need to deal with your stress in healthful ways, and you want to have good legitimate, irrefutable ways to stop being available to work 24/7.

Also, I believe another poster suggested this: fill in your education with classes, seminars, etc to boost your knowledge in the things you are already doing with progression to a higher level so that you will be more valuable to the company. What you don't need to say is that you're really preparing for a company that will treat you better. These classes/seminars/etc should be done during some of those hours they would have you working like a dog. Ideally they will pay for them, if not, look around to see what you can find that you can afford on your own. Frankly, I think needing 10 hours a week to participate in a course being offered by Coursera.org is valid, assuming it adds to the knowledge you need for your field!

You're not alone; and it isn't just IT that mistreats/abuses/and overworks/enslaves its employees. Many places are doing it now so they can 'cheap out' and not hire the amount of staff it truly takes to run their business. They're determined to work us to death, where I work.

Lastly, learn to employ the phrase "Is there a problem with that"--and be prepared with an alternative that still is in your favor.

Hey there, sounds like the America we all live in today. Every job I've had (was in journalism 15 years, then corporate) has expected my life in exchange for my paycheck. And terrible bosses abounded. How do these people get promoted, or even keep their jobs???

My question is: what to do when you mentally cannot handle this kind of abuse any more? That's where I am.

Since leaving journalism--which was abusive shift work for a well-known newswire service--I have been let go from corporate twice and spent several years following that in low-paid abusive jobs, such as drug store chains, call centers, temp agency work, hardware stores, ... it just goes down hill.

I've lost everything--house, bankruptcy, clothing, everything in the house, etc.--and now am barely existing on county benefits.

At my last job (clerk at a department store), I broke into tears because of my debilitating anxiety and major depression, plus making minimum wage. Night shifts required at least an hour of overtime just to put everything back in place. And I never knew when or if I could make it to my therapy appointments. Had to miss several.

My professional credentials are now too old to matter. I have a MH diagnosis, also.

Been denied SSDI ... don't know how I'm going to live. I'm 57. My options are HOPE to be hired as a Wal-Mart checker, or some such.

But in this economy, they've already got degreed people working there, who haven't been able to replace their professional jobs since the 2008 meltdown.

It's grim out there. Bureau of Labor Statistics says "service jobs" are highest growth sector in the economy.

I'm completely depressed about work options. At least the federal min wage is now $9/hr.

Any have suggestions? I think about this night and day.

Thanks.

You are aware of this I presume: https://www.gov.uk/maximum-weekly-wo...and-opting-out

Very interesting!

My job is part time feels like 40 combination of sitting and walking I'm always burnt out. I can't leave because I don't have a full time job lined up yet I'm always tired. Feels like I'm relied upon too much.