I was told I'm incompetent and I think i'll be fired soon?

I don't even know where to start.... sorry for the long post. (just fyi, I was diagnosed with Dyslexia and ADHD as a young child, I've had no screenings for anything after that.)

I am a nurse assistant at a facility. I am a new employee, exactly one month today. I am struggling very hard to learn what I should have picked up the first week. it is humiliating me, because the job is extremely easy, but my coworkers make me feel too stupid to do it.

Today I got called in by the DON because "a staff member" reported about me "not knowing my job" after a month of being there. When I am scared I stutter and lose my voice, I'm not assertive at all. It took everything in me to keep myself from fainting.

What I got yelled at for was making too many mistakes in my duties. I struggle to remember exactly what time I have to do my rounds, take breaks or do mundane tasks like bring the trash can inside or where/how exactly to stand. I will know in my head that I must do 'this thing' exactly at 3PM, then I will not realize it's 3PM and forget to do it.. then a coworker yells at me or calls me lazy... I know they think I'm an idiot. They speak slowly as if I cannot understand them.

I am intelligent on paper (always highest grades), but I always need to be told exactly what to do in detail or I have no idea how to do it; I will just stand there clueless as to what to do next.. I don't know how else to explain it, but unless I'm given exact instructions, step by step, I will screw up the simplest things. Then I get humiliated when someone points out how obvious the answer was and how dumb I was not to have "common sense".

I psyched myself up and kept telling myself "I can do this, I like being a nurse assistant, this job is easy, I can do it". I still think I can do it, given time, but I don't think the DON wants to give me any time. She reminded me that my trial period isn't up yet. I can't lose my job, I don't want to be homeless.

Is this common? Pressuring someone is not going to make them better at their job, is it? At least my mind doesn't operate that way. I am even more nervous than I was before. When someone threatens me with ultimatums I shut down and start shaking (literally) and stuttering and my mind switches off.

I like my job, I like the patients, I like most of my coworkers. And most of all, I am not lazy. I am a very hard worker and I never stop until a project i'm doing is finished and in good quality!

I really have never felt so stupid an incompetent in my entire life, and the mocking of some of my coworkers just makes me feel even more stupid. I overheard two of them gossiping about my stupidity in the hall.

I don't know how to make my memory better or how to make myself realize time is passing. I've always had trouble with this my entire life. I bought a stopwatch to beep every hour and I wrote my duties down on little flash cards. I don't know what else to do.

Thank you if you took the time to read this. I'd really like any advice you can give me...

First off, I'm sorry you're struggling with these things. I'd be nervous and intimidated under the same circumstances as well. If you're doing the best you can, then pat yourself on the back. Work can be tough with co-workers that gossip and snicker behind your back. I work with some of those same kind of people and it's not easy.

It doesn't sound like they'll fire you but more like the DON is pushing you to do better. I've been let go of some jobs that I just found too fast paced and it's not a personal reflection on you but that, perhaps, that exact job wasn't a good fit for you.

Hang in there...take care of your patients and ignore the catty co-workers. Cat

I think you are on the right track with a stopwatch and checklist. If you have a smartphone, you could even set up alarms to beep every time you are supposed to do X or Y.

Sometimes it's not really about the job as much as it is about the cultural fit. If you do have to leave this place, don't let it get you down. Your coworkers sound kind of mean spirited.

Gosh i'm soo sorry to hear about your situation. I really hope it all works out for you. Having a watch and flash cards are great ideas =) I don't know what else you could add to that. It's horrible what you're going through. Please hang in there and know that we here at the forums are rooting for you. You can do it! =)

I know what you're going through.. my first real job was like that, then my next job at a factory was as well.. so I started joking as a defense.. which was also at the same time I started meditating a lot.. Standing up for myself helped, but so did the meditation.. What I learned was that as long as I told myself not to clam up and forced myself through it that it eventually got easier.. it's all about making the most of the present moment.

Maybe you should tell your boss how you're feeling? Just be honest and tell him or her that you're trying your best and like the job, but having some problems which you'd like to work on.

Hi grla, I am so sorry you are going through a hard time at work. I really agree with Mets...let your boss know how willing you are to do a great job because you love what you are doing. One month is not very long to be an expert at a job. I have ADHD and I use my smart phone and lots of lists to stay on track. Also, I have found that keeping lots of positive thoughts written down and reading them helps. Best of luck.

I was a CNA / na and it is known to take 3 months to get used to a new job, before it even starts to become routine. These other CNAs already have their schedules mastered. They know the residents well. They know where everything is, how everything works, yet, they fail to remember how hard it was when they first started...I can sure tell you they made lots of mistakes at first. It is a tough job, tough facility, you'll get used to it soon. Every day I had to deal with disagreements, every week I was in the middle of some trouble, I would witness people get written-up- which was often. It was hard because I felt so much anxiety , I sat with residents just to talk for a few minutes, or sat in my car during break to recollect myself

Hi There, I feel for you and I can relate because I'm struggling with work and my job on a daily basis as well. My issues are a little different, but all the same, with my mental health issues work is a daily struggle for me almost to the point where I feel like it's unbearable sometimes but I have to force myself to put on an act and act normal and happy like a lot of us on here do. I have a suggestion/option for you to think about. Do you have a "Vocational Rehabilitation" office through your state? I went through Voc Rehab in my state (Florida) a few years ago and the services were great. They paid for me to get a full psychological evaluation and everything to determine I was mentally disabled. At the time, they didn't help me find a job because I already had a job, but that is one of the main things they do is find jobs/companies that will specifically agree to work with people with mental disabilities. They also paid for repairs on my car because it is my way to get back and forth to work. Anyhow, with how I am struggling lately with my current job, I am thinking about contacting them again, although before my case closed out my Case Manager told me there was now a long waiting list for services. Keep your chin up and keep trying everyday. I know it's hard, I have co-workers that are sneaky and talk crap about everyone behind their back as well. Just do the best you can everyday, that's all you can do. I ask myself when I'm freaking out, "Am I doing my best?" and I say yes, that sometimes helps. I hope things work out for you. Hang in there.

I was going to suggest the watch and flashcards but you already thought of that, which is good. I actually can relate to you. I've felt that way on the job before. Actually, ever since I've started looking for a new job, I've been wondering about what will happen if I don't know exactly what to do, or if someone doesn't explain something to me step-by-step. I don't think there's anything wrong with you, I think this is very common. Every time you start a new job it takes time to get everything down pat. Especially since you're in a difficult field - nursing. I was doing my phlebotomy rotations in a hospital and I saw how hard the nurse's job was. There are so many little things you need to remember. This goes for LPNs, CNAs, and basically everyone in the healthcare field especially when it comes to direct patient care. Did you say you've only been there a month? It sounds like you're still new. Its okay! I think its really rude of those coworkers to be gossiping about you, they must have absolutely nothing better to do than to act like high school teenagers. Just ignore them. Focus on you.

Instead of feeling like "Omg I can't get fired I need this job" start telling yourself "I don't need this job. I'm here because I want to be here. I'm offering my services to these people who need help. I'm doing this out of the kindness of my heart. I don't need this hospital or these people. I can find another job that would probably treat me better anyway." Take the pressure off of yourself, de-emphasize the anxiety. Come from a place of abundance, not lack. That is the only switch you need to make.

Once you take the pressure off of yourself, you'll start to remember a lot more things. Their opinions of you don't matter. Only yours does.

Hello grla, I have had similar problems.
I worked at a golf course the last seven years. At the beginning of the day, the supervisor would give me like 3 things to remember for the rest of the day and I would try my hardest to remember them. Even if it was the first thing I had to do, I had already berated myself in my head that I would get it wrong and sure enough I would. He also didn't like when I called him. My boss would never get mad but he would mock me in a "friendly way." And it felt friendly. It's not something I feel like I should have tolerated. I fudged my way through that job. And that, I'm sure is not as complicated as being a CNA. I tried another job last month that was too stressful, pushed me close to and episode and now I am unemployed, trying to figure out a game plan. I want to find a nook where I can focus and be productive. First and foremost, an environment where I'm respected and feel confident.
Bad feelings about ourselves turn into projections, that turn into cartoons of our true selves, that people make fun of. Standing tall and not feeling shame are my demons. I know I try hard and you do too.

I'm so sorry you've been yelled at and bullied at your job I don't get that kind of behaviour, either - like you said, it's hardly going to make anyone perform better!

I was going to suggest listing your daily duties on a piece of paper and revising it at home, but you seem to already be doing that.. Does your employer know about the Dyslexia and ADHD? They should accommodate you according to your needs and to the best of their ability.. Also, you could talk to your superior about your co-workers badmouthing you if you feel it wouldn't make things worse..

I don't really have good advice for you but I did want to share something my therapist said to me just a couple of weeks previously when I was stressed out about maybe failing an exam at school - she said, 'Just breathe and take it one question at a time. Do your best - even if it's not enough for your teacher, it's enough for life.' I find that a comforting thought

Have you ever been medicated for ADHD? It can be life changing. That and therapy can boost self confidence.

In a more immediate sense, a smartphone paired with a smart watch is a good way to remind yourself and stay on track better.

First of all: your job is not easy. I know because I did your job for a number of years. From age 17 to age 25, I worked as a nurses's aid for a few stints of several years in a few different nursing homes. I worked eves and nights. I also know how callous a lot of people in that environment can be. Also, I was a little slow to get up to speed. I would say to give yourself 6 months, if they'll let you stay that long.

You are not on an assembly line doing one thing at a time. You are trying to keep track of the needs of a number of patients simultaneously. Sometimes, it can feel like herding cats. Making notes and using a watch with a timer are good strategies. Sometimes, you are wanted in 3 places at the same time. It's not easy.

Your co-workers are being mean, but that's how that environment is. Hang in there and see if it doesn't get easier.

Thank you everyone your posts made me feel a lot better. I would quote you all individually but I think that would fill up the page

I went to my doctor today and asked to be referred to a psychologist. He said he will be sending me to a psychiatrist for my social problems and a neurologist for my stumbling and memory problems.

Yes doyoutrustme, I was medicated when I was a child. They gave me ritalin, but it didn't control my problems so they took me off of it. I no longer interrupt teachers in class so I don't see how it would help me anyway?

And thanks guys for the smartphone suggestions, but unfortunately it is illegal to use phones on the floors of most medical facilities (against HIPAA regulations). I can't use my phone to keep track of anything. That's why I thought the cards would be a good idea.

But you know, even though I wrote all my duties on the cards, the other CNAs have their own way of doing things. Like two days ago it was my card's duty that day to clean the nursing station, another CNA took my cleaning job and said to me, "hey you were supposed to take that cart down 10 minutes ago". I told her "I am #5, I clean the NS, you are supposed to take the cart". And she says what she always does, that "we don't do it the way the card says, this is how we do it...". Then one of them reports me to the charge nurse for non-compliance.

How am I supposed to comply when they change the rules every day? I haven't been there for months like they have, I don't know their little privatized routine.

That is the reason why I said I think I might be fired soon, I'm not trying to be negative or whiny. The DON is already upset with me, my charge nurse doesn't like me and thinks im incompetent, and the other cnas are angry because I haven't caught on as fast as the other new girls.

I didn't have this much trouble when I was doing my clinicals, I only messed up once there. Here I am messing up almost every day

I'm glad you are being referred to two specialists for more evaluation and assessment. Your primary care doc is being conscientious.

That is typical for aids on the floor to evolve their own system that doesn't correspond to the official assignments. That's awfully frustrating to a new employee, trying to make sense of when to be where. Keep in mind that these employees who've been there for maybe years, in some cases, have tried different approaches and their "private" system is the product of experience with what seems to work. Sometimes the charge nurse doesn't even know why they are doing what they are doing.

When you are new, it's a good idea to defer to more experienced staff. Let yourself be "bossed around" for awhile, even by co-workers who don't have a job title any higher than yours. Don't feel humiliated by that. It's part of the dues one pays in the beginning. As you've said, you don't feel real organized yet, so allow yourself to be directed by others for awhile. Yes, your co-workers could be nicer about how they communicate with you, but be patient and just put up with some ill humor for now.

When you find yourself thinking that everyone is faulting you, from DON to CNAs, ask yourself: "Is it very likely that I'm right and the whole world is wrong?" Right now they are all seeing your inadequacies, which do stick out like sore thumbs. Time will change that. You can only get better. Meanwhile, be the first to jump up to answer lights. This is kind of like boot camp, where all new recruits take a bit of abuse. Let it roll off. You are becoming a stronger person.

Maybe this is not your calling for the rest of your life, but learn what you can from it. You'll take lessons from this experience that can make you a better person in whatever you do next. Lesson #1 is humility.

As many have said, what you're doing isn't easy and your co-workers don't seem to be making it any better in that regard. Learning a new job in-and-of-itself isn't easy. Add to the fact that you are not simply trying to "get to know" your co-workers because you sit amongst them: your job entails making yourself part of a team dynamic. And, like you said, you don't yet know all their little routines and ways of doing things.

I'd make as comprehensive a task list of my duties as possible. Then, because you say the team keeps "changing the rules", I'd take the list to my supervisor for review. Tell the DON that you're proactively attempting to (in so many words) "get with the program" and ask if they could please review the list for any missing or incorrect info. If at all possible, get them to sign off on it as "correct and complete" when your talk with them is done.

Then, when someone that you work with takes issue, go back to your boss with the list. Explain what a co-worker has said in terms of pointing out your "doing it wrong" and ask for clarification. If you have to, take the list out and point to the item on it and say, "My understanding based on our reviewing the list together is that I was doing this task correctly. Was I?" If it turns out it should be done a different way - revise the list!

Start carrying around one of those mini-notepads that can fit in a shirt pocket and a pen/pencil. MAKE IT PART OF YOUR "UNIFORM". Never, ever, ever be without those 2 things on you - I mean up to and including walking in to the restroom at work. You just never know who you're going to run in to by the sink and they will ask you to do something and you cannot trust ANYTHING to memory. I can literally think of something facing forward, turn around to face backwards - and that thought is *poof* gone out of my head like it was never there.

People may think it odd that you write everything down (I mean everything work-related, obviously: you're not gonna write down that your coworker said that she had a horrible date the night before or whatever.) but who cares??!! If it makes you a better employee, that's all that matters.

Lastly, I've never been a fan of cell phones at work for use in any way, fashion, or form. It just has this extreme stigma (often rightly so) of, "Hey, I'm goofing off and you're paying me!" Look in to this: WatchMinder | Effective Time Management Techniques for Adults & Children | Vibrating Watch for Autism, ADD & ADHD Treatment (I hope that shows up as a link) (And no, I am not a rep or affiliate or whatever. I have ADHD and I'm thinking of getting one myself!)

I am very willing to do this, but they will not instruct me at all. Even when I ask them what to do, they just say "you should know this by now, you've been here a month" and they don't answer me.

I do not fault them for anything, I know it is me who has the learning problems. I know they are better than me, but they refuse to answer my questions and that makes it almost impossible for me to do my job. My charge nurse doesn't like me for a reason I am not aware of, but another CNA said she is racist so that may be why. She disliked me from the first day there.

I do not plan on being a CNA forever, my goal is medical school. But if I cannot hack this, I don't think I would be able to be a doctor. Their responsibilities are difficult as well and they must also juggle many patients at once.

Thank you lavendarsage. Yes I do carry a notepad like you've said and I've been writing the changes down for two days now. I really hope I get the hang of this because I was scolded again yesterday for doing someone else's job (I had no choice, she had taken my job).

There are a few other new girls and they got with the program so fast, so I guess that is what made them call me stupid, because I don't understand simple things that come naturally to them. They don't seem to care when the DON scolds them for their mistakes, though, and it's happened two times already. I don't know if this is a common thing to get yelled at or not. I am more confused now than I was last week! I will just focus on what I am supposed to be doing and try not to worry about my mistakes.

How do the patients at this facility like you?

Sorry to hear you have trouble. I commend you for putting strategies in place instead of just giving up. Good on you, that shows great strength of character. You are resilliant and you are able. Do you think anxiety is having any part? I find when I am anxious I tend to be less productive and lose time. Lists help me too.

Unfortunately most bosses I know will chew you out over stuff ups, it's just part of the working world. It may not affect you as much once your self worth is a little higher. They do think it motivates it some are on a power trip

I don't know how to answer this without giving away too much information . I don't want to be recognized or anyone to guess the facility I work at. My patients all like me, but their opinions hold zero weight with the staff.

I don't know if it's anxiety, i'm not an anxious person. But when I have too many people all talking at once to me, or I have too many things to do at once, I get extremely confused. That coupled with the dyslexia and tons of paperwork make it difficult for me to keep up with the others. I think I do a good job, it's just at a slower pace than them, and you can't be a slow CNA and keep your job. This is a really fast-paced job.

Like someone said earlier, I am sometimes expected to be in 3 places at once. I did get in trouble a few days ago for not doing my rounds, checking in on a suicide watch AND starting showers at exactly 4 pm, which is impossible. You can't do all three at once. The cnurse told me I should have asked someone to do my rounds and watch check for me while I did showers, but I couldn't do that because the other two cnas were both busy with their own rounds and showers. She said that's not her problem, it's mine. That's an example of what I mean.

Are you considering resigning?

Hi grla, I am sorry you are being so challenged. I just want you to know that I raised a daughter who has dyslexia, my husband has both dyslexia and ADHD, my older brother had dyslexia and ADHD too. I have learned from the individuals with these challenges in my life that they do best when they are doing things on their "own" time schedule. They have "all" done very well at things too, it's just that they all needed to find the type of careers that fit how they do best.

My older brother faced severe challenges growing up because at that time nothing was known about Dyslexia and ADHD, so sadly many of these children were punished for something they could not help and it never meant they were "not" intelligent enough either. My older brother had a lot of challenges, but he kept on trying, put himself through college and graduated high honors in spite of his two learning disabilities. He ended up doing sales and was very successful at it, made a lot of money too.

My husband earned/earns a living doing his own business and does really well when he can do things "his way" on "his own schedule" and often he can do things better than others. He does get frustrated when he works in situations where others treat him the way you have just discribed. Yet, if given enough time in a situation, he ends up actually excelling, but it just takes him longer to develop his own sense of rythm, once he does, he ends up being quite and attribute.

My daughter is the same way, it takes her time to get something set in her mind too, yet, once she does she ends up excelling and she has a great job and is making a lot of money right now too.

There "are" people who are VERY successful that have these challenges, yes even successful surgeons and lawyers, and business entepreneurs. My daughter also rides and competes with horses, it took her time to learn things, yet, once she did she did really well, and she has always been a very "committed" person too. She has actually proved herself in "big ways" where she would literally rise up in a huge competition and come in 1st place above a large number of competitors who had very expensive horses and top trainers. She too had to put up with the same kind of people that you are discribing right now, people who treated her like she "just could not do it", yet, she kept on working at it and as I mentioned, has overcome that chatter of negativity in big ways. One thing I admire about her, is that she makes sure that when she sees someone else struggling, she doesn't treat them badly for it, instead she is very supportive and encourages them in very positive ways, so in spite of her being treated negatively, she has risen above that and so much so that people "like" working with her and being around her, hense she has climbed in her career and is now making really good money with individuals that respect her, individuals that are top professionals in the business world too.

Don't get discouraged, remember this experience too, and by all means move forward to maybe even becoming a doctor because you can be a doctor with a lot more understanding of the people that do the kind of job you are doing now and may be treated poorly, which as you know now is not the way to be when someone is trying to learn how to fit in and do a job with a team.

((Caring Supportive Hugs))
OE

No, I like being a cna. it's mostly my coworker's attitudes that are making it very difficult on me.

I am happy (and encouraged) to hear how successful your family is. I was raised to treat people how I would like to be treated and that the medical field is meticulous when it comes to rights and laws (my mother was a nurse). So I was very shocked to find the cnas and nurses gossiping about each other, snitching on each other or telling lies, discussing patient personal information in the lunch room, and "feuds" between the wards. It's very disappointing to me when I had such high ambitions. I feel really naive now to have expected a professional environment.

I did explain to my cnurse that I do have dyslexia and adhd, but she only told me that I need to get with the program. I think people who are not familiar with these conditions just think it's quackery or excuses to be lazy.

Isn't there even one person on the staff who has been encouraging toward you?

Is there anyone there whom you admire for doing a good job and caring about the people being cared for?

It's hard to imagine a place that, with the exception of yourself, has attracted only mean, nasty people to work there.

When I started doing that kind of work, I wasn't real quick to get up to speed. I liked to do things thoroughly and give time to my patients. For awhile, I was always behind schedule and I took a certain amount of flack from co-workers. What enabled me to even stick with it was that there were a few people who were nice to me, even in the beginning when I was floundering, trying to keep up. I don't think I could have lasted, if everybody was against me.

If absolutely nobody is the least bit nice to you, then this must be a truly awful environment. I'm surprised any patients are willing to stay there.