I always fail.

No matter how hard I try, how good I am at anything, it's never good enough, I play classical piano, but it never went anywhere. I actually got pretty decent at math, but not good enough to pass the engineering courses I was taking. I'm pretty good with science, but again, the math holds me back. I'm good with language, but that doesn't matter since the only people who get hired for those kinds of job are natives, so again no matter what I try, I'm just good enough to realize, I'll never make it at anything. I'm tired of being on the verge of having absolutely nothing, and I don't know what to do anymore. My current job, is sporadic at best, sometimes I'll work 17 days out of the month, and others just two. I can't make a living off of that. I just want to be able to live on my own.

Many of the things that mean the most to me I do without expecting any monetary return. Finding a reliable job is great, but it may be that it is not the most fun or heartfelt things that you do for work. Start saving as much as you can so you have a nestegg in the bank for when you are ready to move out.