Can't handle the stress, what would you do?

Hi all,

Im a 27 year old highschool teacher for special education. I work 4 days a week, from 8.00-18.00. It's quite demanding and because I have Rheumathoide Arthritis, I get tired easily. My doctor has told me I wasn't allowed to take on exra work. However, because my boss is very happy with me, I got a promotion and now have a lot of extra work.

This wouldn't be such a problem, if it weren't for my anxiety. I feel stressed out easily because I constantly feel afraid of making a mistake or not being good enough. Since a month or so, work has been even busier and I started having panic attacks. I start crying, can't feel my arms & legs, can't think straight, am convinced everyone hates me and at that moment I just want to hang myself or run off. Which is all so unprofessional. I've been in therapy for about a year and I know what to do during a panic attack, but as soon as work piles up, I slip right back into anxiety/panic.
I now wonder if I should work less, because I'm not enjoying life right now. Last week I felt so stressed out that I spend an entire week in bed throwing up and losing about 4 kg (I weigh about 53 kg). It's impossible for me to live up to my own and others' expectations.

Something needs to change and I just don't know what to do. I feel like these are my only options:
1. I could resign for a few hours a week (and earn less, which wouldn't be a huge problem)
2. completely resign and work in a shop or something (and not have to deal with so many responsibilities / anxiety)
3. quit all extra work incl. my promotion (disappoint everyone, still be left with a busy schedule).

Either way I think my boss will be very unhappy about the fact that I just can't take it again - I was out for a while last year when I developped R.A.

What would you guys do?

I would try #1 to start with and see if that helps. Whatever you choose you have to take care of yourself.

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I agree, number one seems the best option. Take it slowly, your health comes first.

What gayleggg said, you need to take of you first.
I'm dealing with a somewhat similar decision and that is a great piece of advice that I keep trying to tell myself, too.

I think it's a difficult concept for a lot of us. The concept of taking care of ourselves.

We are not used to telling the people we work for that, while we may try to be good employees, we have our limits. So, please, stop. I have hit my limit. You are crushing me.

Please take care.

Avoiding isn't gonna help the anxiety. Avoiding is actually gonna increase the panic attacks. Is it possible to get a medication from your doc to help with the panic, and, at the same time get some CBT for panic?

Girlygirl, i like option 1 that you posted. Start with a cut back in hours and see how you manage. Talk to a therapist and get it documented the job related stress and anxiety. This way here if you are let go you can get compensation for it being medical. Always cover your butt! LOL... you seem more concerned about what others think and letting others down. This is not about others, this is about you. We often feel that once we are loaded with work we have to bear the burden of it. That is not true nor healthy when we sacrifice our quality of life. If your life is this stressed out, no job is worth ruining it for, no job. Try cutting back in increments to start with and go from there. None of us can plan our life out, we live it in days and weeks. So live within the day and the moment. Learn to say no. If you have not read the book by Melody Beattie CODEPENDENT NO MORE, i suggest you read it. Your life patterns are similiar to those she talks about. Blessings and tc

I'd choose option one, health comes first.