[TryingToMoveForward]

I need help learning social skills. I'm like...hopeless. I humiliate myself all the time.

Does anyone have any recommendations? Activities? Books? And so on? Or advice?

Part of my problem is being socially phobic and introverted. At work I don't know how to interact with my co-workers. What's okay and what isn't okay. Or even how to participate in group conversations. Most of the time I just focus on my work, and only talk to a few of them that have been winning my trust.

After my psychotic break, I was basically a shut in. I barely socialized for 5 years. So I'm really, really, awkward. And I'm getting tired of embarrassing myself all the time and having painful friendships because I don't understand relationship dynamics.

[leomama]

I recommend DBT.

[unaluna]

Maybe like all the Care Bears books? I think they werent so much to teach kids how to read, as they were for how to ACT in different situations. They were more than "see Spot run." You could sit in the library for an afternoon and prolly read a stack of them. I didnt realize how deficient i was in this area til i was babysitting and i let the kid have a lollipop before school. The mother let me know what an idiot i was. I was in my fifties at the time.

[IceCreamKid]

The book How to Win Friends and Influence People is an old book but a classic when it comes to getting along well with others. I would start there. Keep in mind that as long as you are kind and polite, decent people will like you. They may not become your best friend, but they won't run when they see you coming, either.

What I find is quite a few people who use the workplace as what I call their Trashing Grounds where they abuse people whenever they feel like it because this is their unhealthy coping mechanism for God knows what. I pity such people, but I need to stay far away from them, too.

[TryingToMoveForward]

Actually, people at work love me. Because I'm nice, polite and sweet...and possibly disarmingly clueless. I get the job done, I help co-workers and customers. But when it comes to socializing outside the professional role, I kind of...I'm scared of most of them. It is very easy to get along with me, because I'm non-judgmental, peaceful, cooperative and not aggressive in the slightest. People at work are very nice to me. Even if I do something that makes them angry, once they realize its me, they switch to kind and understanding. I've never been yelled at.

But I don't know how to engage them in other conversation. Can I talk to the manager about, say, how long they served in the military? Is that okay? Is it weird if I ask about their dogs or more about their interest in fashion? Is it okay for me to explain my erratic behavior as attributed to my mental illnesses or mild cognitive impairments so that they understand why I behave the way I do? Or is that too much personal information?

I told one of the head managers I might be epileptic because my supervisor told me to tell her, and she said I don't need to tell her every detail of my personal life. And I was like, "I thought you would want to know if I might have a seizure in the work place." And she just looked at me and turned away. So I feel like I did something wrong by saying that, even though a supervisor told me to. I did tell her I was bipolar. But only because I know my psychological issues affect my performance and I wanted her to know that, and to know I'm really trying very hard. Its not like I go around spouting off about my disorders and impairments left and right. Not everyone needs to know that stuff.

What also sucks is that its an outdoor sports store. I hike a little. That's it. These people go fishing and hunting, and do all sorts of things I have never done. So I have no idea how to relate to most of them. They're like from another culture. I'm very much the outsider.

[CopperStar]

I don't think there's anything wrong with your approach at work. The workplace can be a risky place when it comes to getting personal with people. Being polite and professional is usually the best way to go, and it sounds like that is how you roll at work. If you had a hard time talking at all, and people felt like you were being anti-social or something, that might be a different story, but it sounds like you balance it perfectly. Also the head manager was being an irresponsible dumb@ss.

[green0cake]

Let me make this clear: You must not be ashamed of being an introvert. People has a negative mindset about introvert. Well, I am an introvert. But you know what? Embrace yourself as being introvert. Read blogs and books online about introvert and it will open your eyes that you are someone. Make it your strength and for sure, it will unleash your potential that is inside of you. Learn to love yourself as you are. Oftentimes, we want to be alone. Well, I don't know why but just be yourself.

[TryingToMoveForward]

Originally Posted by green0cake

Let me make this clear: You must not be ashamed of being an introvert. People has a negative mindset about introvert. Well, I am an introvert. But you know what? Embrace yourself as being introvert. Read blogs and books online about introvert and it will open your eyes that you are someone. Make it your strength and for sure, it will unleash your potential that is inside of you. Learn to love yourself as you are. Oftentimes, we want to be alone. Well, I don't know why but just be yourself.

I just bought a book that says its the Loner's Manifesto...A Party of One. Its about being introverted and its an empowering book, or so it seems. I look forward to reading it for sure. But thank you, this is good advice!

[PieceofMe]

That's me. I hate jobs because I have to work with others. They think because I'm shy they can point it out and it hurts. Yeah, I'm different, so what? Why point it out? I don't point out how obnoxious you are because you are so outgoing. The old people are the worst.

[yagr]

Perhaps they don't find being shy something that someone would be offended about. They might look at shyness the same way they look at someone being beautiful or kind or short or tall. I don't think of it as something negative.

[PieceofMe]

Originally Posted by TryingToMoveForward

I need help learning social skills. I'm like...hopeless. I humiliate myself all the time.

Does anyone have any recommendations? Activities? Books? And so on? Or advice?

Part of my problem is being socially phobic and introverted. At work I don't know how to interact with my co-workers. What's okay and what isn't okay. Or even how to participate in group conversations. Most of the time I just focus on my work, and only talk to a few of them that have been winning my trust.

After my psychotic break, I was basically a shut in. I barely socialized for 5 years. So I'm really, really, awkward. And I'm getting tired of embarrassing myself all the time and having painful friendships because I don't understand relationship dynamics.

I'm introverted and really really shy. I think that I'm not like everybody else and that sucks. Getting a job scares me because I feel like everybody will point out the bad in me. My therapist did that too!

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by IceCreamKid

What I find is quite a few people who use the workplace as what I call their Trashing Grounds where they abuse people whenever they feel like it because this is their unhealthy coping mechanism for God knows what. I pity such people, but I need to stay far away from them, too.

I stopped reading at this post to quote it because this describes my work place! It's full of gossipy women who just trash talk each other all day long. Even their "friends". All I do is come to work and do my job and keep my mouth shut but not a day goes by that someone has to "ugh" or roll their eyes at me, the new girl. I just walk away. But quite often my anxiety problems really cause this behavior to get to me and I'll find myself in tears the minute I clock out. It's a shame. Why can't everyone just be accepted and respected for who they are and focus on the job?!

And because these women are like this, I question everything I say and worry that I sounded dumb or something. It makes the work day very long and stressful indeed!

Trileptal 600mg BID
Buspar 45mg
Seroquel 150-300mg for sleep
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvanse 70mg
Risperdal 4-6mg PRN

I don't get msgs unless the other person using tapatalk app!

[AquaLynx]

Find the other introverts!