[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Frustrated ramble thread, don't mind me.

I'm starting to think my mom is right when she says I'm unemployable (due to my poor social skills, which I think might be legit). It seems no matter how many jobs I apply for, how many resumes I send out, I either get flat-out ignored, passed up for someone with more experience, or I get an interview and blow it.

I'm a college dropout with no chance of going back, and the only work I've ever done was a very temporary job basically given to me via a youth work program. I mean, I did well there, but it's over now and I'm back to constant rejection. Despite my lousy social skills I find myself regularly applying to very people-involved jobs, mostly because that's all I qualify for in terms of education and experience.

Yes, I'm on welfare (rather, I was. I got kicked off due to the aforementioned job), and SNAP, the latter of which I abuse so badly almost every month I consider going down and having my case closed to let myself starve as punishment for being so untrustworthy. Though really, my misuse of food stamps kind of wavers in my conscience, between "I'm a horrible person with no self-control and I don't deserve food" to "Oh, fck it. I have it, no one's come and said anything about how I use it, I'm a f-ing failure, so who cares?"

I'm not that great with money either: from eating takeout to buying myself random junk on a whim with what little money I have, I'm kind of a screw-up. I've been looking into self-employment, investing, writing, anything that's basically work-from-home that I might be able to do with minimal contact. God I'm a screw-up though, and it's driving me crazy.

[Skeezyks]

[nonightowl]

I can kind of relate for other reasons, but I don't want to say why publicly.

[ChipperMonkey]

How are you abusing SNAP? Are you selling your benefits?

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Aw, so many hugs.

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

How are you abusing SNAP? Are you selling your benefits?

You can do that?

I eat a ridiculous amount of junk food. A few times I've kept all my shopping receipts and gone through with my phone calculator to see how much I spent on cookies, candy, muffins, doughnuts, snack cakes, etc. It's often around half of my entire spending for the month, a little less. Sometimes I have days when I live on that stuff. I actually don't even use all of my allowance, I often have around $100 roll over, give or take. But still - I tentatively support the notion that one shouldn't be allowed to buy that kind of stuff with benefits, and often when I do, like I mentioned, I feel like I'm stealing.

[Aviza]

What jobs are you applying for? My suggestion is go to a workforce center, or social services and ask for help with obtaining employment. They can get you training, or something to help you get a job you need.

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Originally Posted by Aviza

What jobs are you applying for? My suggestion is go to a workforce center, or social services and ask for help with obtaining employment. They can get you training, or something to help you get a job you need.

I'm already involved with a workforce center, they basically gave me a temp job that ended in December. I still go occasionally, and if I end up on temporary assistance again, I'll be required to attend all-day job search/prep classes, which are completely useless and a huge waste of time.

I mostly apply for retail, service, clerical, and occasionally low-end manufacturing jobs. Things that don't require much skill, basically. I don't have time for training, I need to support myself now. But I've almost given up applying since I get rejected from everywhere.

If I sound upset, I am.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by ScientiaOmnisEst

I'm already involved with a workforce center, they basically gave me a temp job that ended in December. I still go occasionally, and if I end up on temporary assistance again, I'll be required to attend all-day job search/prep classes, which are completely useless and a huge waste of time.

I mostly apply for retail, service, clerical, and occasionally low-end manufacturing jobs. Things that don't require much skill, basically. I don't have time for training, I need to support myself now. But I've almost given up applying since I get rejected from everywhere.

If I sound upset, I am.

Those workshops ARE useless if you've taken them before. And they tell you the same stuff over and over: "Don't lie", "Use spellcheck", "Use keywords", etc. Just follow these steps and jobs will fall into your lap.

It doesn't work that way. There's bigger forces at play out there, since as the mindset of employers wanting people to be employed. You can have the perfect resume, but if you have gaps or you're unemployed, they weed you out. So you're right that those things don't help you. Their thinking is that you have to work on your resume or your interviewing skills. I guess this is part of the denial in this country about how the good jobs are going away.

[Cat_Lover_58]

I'm in the same boat myself. I'm not going to any of the so called workshops that are available. I have no car presently and so this is a total hardship. The bus can get me there but it would be a huge waste of money. (oh job, a bill collector called..)

I'd like to think that I'm in the same boat as others. I'm intelligent and can do a variety of things, but gaps and age are not to my advantage. I'm on the job boards and emailing in a moment. I need to let the caffeine wake me up.

[PISCES 71]

I can relate. For many years, I couldn't get a job I liked...just ****** service positions. I'm 71 and that number scares potential employers. Fortunately, I ran into a guy I worked for in '97 who hires by proven ability. He gave me a shot. I showed up and demonstrated my talents and endurance...wound up working all summer. It's construction...rough carpentry erecting steel post frame buildings. The last one was 4,000 sq. ft.

I hadn't done this stuff for 15 years. It was pure hell for several weeks as my body regained strength and flexibility but...it all came together. I prefer working outdoors, enjoy heavy manual labor, and love being paid to keep fit. My wife is envious...she's 15 years my junior and I'm in far better shape.

Anyway, focus on your past strengths and network an old employer...like I did. Just ask for one shot.

The car thing is problematic. If you know a good mechanic who is willing....hire him to find you a cheap but reliable vehicle. Give him $30.00 (an hours pay) in advance....he'll find one. They're all around but you can't be anxious...he'll wait till an available one drops into his lap, and then you have to have a minimal (agreed upon) amount of cash ready 500-1,000 bucks (your mechanic may get a commission from the seller). That's all I ever buy...I'm a fair mechanic myself so I can skip the $30. They last 5 years...transportation costs are about 20% of normal because of their initial price. Right now, there's still a lot of bigger old cruisers for sale...cheap because of their poor mileage. Gas is dirt cheap and likely to stay that way for quite awhile but the owners don't know or trust that fact. Now's the time.

[LaDauphine]

I used to be able to completely relate to you! (Apart from spending money on junk food - I've always been very health conscious and hate spending money on food in general.) I'm not a complete drop out, but I have way too many incomplete degrees, certificates, etc. I start an educational program and don't finish it. I've also been fired from many jobs and not for lack of showing up, poor work ethic, etc. Like you, I just felt unemployable!

I promise, it WILL change. You just have to figure out what works for you. I gave up all hoop dreams of obtaining a professional job. Even though I can get them, I can't keep them and I get overwhelmed! Minimum wage life for me!

Try to apply to jobs that have a very isolated work force. Not too many other people on your team. The mall, evening hours inn which there are 1-2 staff, tanning salons, etc. Even fast-food is good because there are so many people you can kind of hide. It doesn't sound like oyu don't want to work. It just sounds like you don't know how to carry yourself. This takes practice.

I finally have a reasonable stable job in which I work with one other girl and maybe interact with my supervisor once a week. I'm the second staff, so I don't need to communicate with anyone.

What types of jobs are you applying to?

[growlycat]

Truth is, lots of jobs really just suck. People are treated as replaceable cogs. Who wouldn't want to run the other way.

Things that help make work suck less, if you can find these traits in a job, it may help your desire to show up:

1. Camraderie- having coworkers that you like and respect and like you in return
2. Limited customer contact-- customers may be the lifeblood of a business but they are often demanding and difficult even for the most well adjusted. Behind the scenes jobs are less stressful generally
3. A well paying well benefitting job can make up for a lot of the other crap
4. Doing something you actually like. This one on the list helps me the most
5. Working for a manager who is halfway human-- a good manager will reward those who deserve it and work with you if you are struggling
6. Doing work that feels meaningful. Selling starbucks may not feel as meaningful as working with kids perhaps (pick your own comparison)

It is understandable that work is so demoralizing.

[Nammu]

How about the department of rehabilitation? They're called different things in different states it is a state-federal program that individualizes help. They help people get training skills, go back to school or just get a job, as I mentioned it's individualized. I think they even help with social skills if that's what you need.

[BlueCrustacean]

I can relate to you. I've been unemployed for several months and bombed an interview so badly today. Probably the worst interview I've ever given. Once you're out of the workforce, it can be very hard to get back in. Deep down I really didn't want the job anyway, but I need to make money sometime.

You do seem very hard on yourself, though, and you seem to hate yourself. Please don't call yourself a failure, or that you deserve to starve. That doesn't do you, or anyone, any good. Guilt is a useless emotion, without action. You'll only be able make truly positive changes in your life once you start to change your own view of yourself. You CAN do things. You ARE good enough. Love yourself, and you'll gain the strength to change old habits and turn your situation around. Check out the video in my signature- it's really helped me out, when I've listened to it as often as possible. Just keep swimming.

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Originally Posted by BlueCrustacean

I can relate to you. I've been unemployed for several months and bombed an interview so badly today. Probably the worst interview I've ever given. Once you're out of the workforce, it can be very hard to get back in. Deep down I really didn't want the job anyway, but I need to make money sometime.

You do seem very hard on yourself, though, and you seem to hate yourself. Please don't call yourself a failure, or that you deserve to starve. That doesn't do you, or anyone, any good. Guilt is a useless emotion, without action. You'll only be able make truly positive changes in your life once you start to change your own view of yourself. You CAN do things. You ARE good enough. Love yourself, and you'll gain the strength to change old habits and turn your situation around. Check out the video in my signature- it's really helped me out, when I've listened to it as often as possible. Just keep swimming.

My guilt seems to be chronic, I don't know what life would be like without it.':/

And there's a difference between me and other posters here - I was never in the workforce to begin with. I've never had a job except a temp position given to me by a youth work program, that ended in December. I feel like that's my problem, no experience. I'm starting to think I should fond the most legit work-from-home scheme I can and sign up as soon as I get my own apartment, provided this one doesn't have rules against it. At least maybe I could put that on my resume to "show initiative".

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by growlycat

Truth is, lots of jobs really just suck. People are treated as replaceable cogs. Who wouldn't want to run the other way.

Things that help make work suck less, if you can find these traits in a job, it may help your desire to show up:

1. Camraderie- having coworkers that you like and respect and like you in return
2. Limited customer contact-- customers may be the lifeblood of a business but they are often demanding and difficult even for the most well adjusted. Behind the scenes jobs are less stressful generally
3. A well paying well benefitting job can make up for a lot of the other crap
4. Doing something you actually like. This one on the list helps me the most
5. Working for a manager who is halfway human-- a good manager will reward those who deserve it and work with you if you are struggling
6. Doing work that feels meaningful. Selling starbucks may not feel as meaningful as working with kids perhaps (pick your own comparison)

It is understandable that work is so demoralizing.

I want to add some stuff that has been helpful to me:

I've always considered time going to and from work to be part of the work day, and just as exhausting. So, a short commute can help. Not spending a lot of time driving or riding a bus/train means getting home sooner. And that means more time for YOU.

Having stuff near work like a grocery store or bank (just examples)can save time on weekends for shopping for food. I don't mean everything, but it can be nice to be able to pick up something during lunch, before work, or after work cause the store is on the way. Or your gym is close by, so you can just go to THAT location instead of the one near home.

Granted this all depends on a lot of variables, I know.

I strongly agree that good co-workers and a halfway decent boss goes a LONG way. I've always felt PEOPLE make or break a job, not the actual job. I've had some TEDIOUS jobs but the people & boss were so NICE and fun! It made up for the tedium.

It's true that workers are treated like cogs on a wheel. Working hard used to get you ahead, get you noticed, promoted. Now it doesn't mean SQUAT.

[Dinah9517]

One thing really pi##es me off is when people consider someone unemployable simply because they're between jobs! (I used to run job clubs for long term unemployed in UK). As has been previously suggested have you volunteered your work skills to a charity? There you would maintain your work skills for their benefit & even try your hand @ other aspects - Admin/Finance, Campaigns, Fundraising; Education, Press/PR - You'd also be surprised how many NGOs look on their volunteers as long term job applicants. Important thing is stay busy. As a volunteer you qualify CV-wise as employed coz the definition of employed is "to use" & it's a lot easier to get a job if you've already got one. So chin up, get stuck in & you'll do ok - Promise!

[growlycat]

Thanks for posting that Dinah-- I've suggested volunteering to people on PC but I am often shot down. No one wants to work for free but it can make the difference in landing a job or…not.

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Volunteering doesn't seem like much of an option - there's something that doesn't make sense about a welfare recipient volunteering their time.

More and more I realize another problem: I'm useless with computers, despite my age (21). I type 30 wpm (or less), and that's with 100-200 errors. Every attempt to fix it fails. I've raged twice just typing this message from the constant, CONSTANT mistakes. I was just practicing and it won't even let me advance beyond lessons I've already don ten thousand because I'm so slow and can never remember where the keys are.

I recall on another forum I frequent someone posted a typing test and asked people to post their results. Virtually everyone except me clocked in at 70, 80, over 100 wpm (one person claimed they average over 200 if the test wasn't just random words) with no errors. I don't know how it's even physically possible to do that.

So I'm completely useless in any modern setting. I should really stop trying and just give up.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by growlycat

Thanks for posting that Dinah-- I've suggested volunteering to people on PC but I am often shot down. No one wants to work for free but it can make the difference in landing a job or…not.

"Or not" is the key phrase here. Not shooting this down, it can work...for some people or employers.

Speaking from experience, it may or may not "count" as work. Most employers prefer a PAID position, otherwise it's nothing to them and they dismiss it. It's like not doing anything at all, even though you ARE being productive.

You'd think they would be impressed by someone giving their time, as it says something I think.

If anyone out there does do this, of course it's best to find something that's close to home, since you don't want a lot of transportation costs.

I once knew a woman who got hired just cause she was a volunteer. But that doesn't happen for everyone, unfortunately. You can volunteer your *** off, and employers don't see it.

[growlycat]

You can mention such work as "pro bono" vs calling it volunteer. Sounds stupid but I have to disagree with you guys--many employers DO count it.

I think people limit themselves too much. How do you know it won't work unless you give it a try? Just because it didn't work once means it will never work.

[nonightowl]

I can only speak for ME. I said "speaking from experience."

It might work for some people, but NOT ALL.

There is NO ONE WAY that works for literally EVERYONE. If so, the so-called "unemployment rate" (which some economists say is "padded" due to so many "temporary"jobs) would be 0%. Everyone who is able and needs/wants to work would be doing so.

Just like some people get temp jobs that turn into "permanent."

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

I'd like to point out that I have done volunteer work before - until a recent temp job it was literally the only thing on my resume. No one seems to care about it though.

[here today]

Hi, Scientia. Sure sounds like you’re frustrated, and why not? You write well and sound to me like a pretty smart person. Wish I had a job to offer you but I don’t.

Obviously yours is a difficult situation. But could it be that you’re shooting yourself in the foot, too? By – gee, golly, whiz, what my mother used to say to me, making mountains out of molehills? Or maybe they’re more than molehills but still just hills.

Originally Posted by ScientiaOmnisEst

. . .I'm a college dropout with no chance of going back. . .

If you don’t mind my asking. Why no chance of going back? Or, if not now, maybe sometime? What were you studying? What subjects did you like? What subjects, or other activities, were you good at?

I'm kind of a screw-up.

Where did you get that idea? Or – another angle – why do you care? What would you like to be doing with your life instead of, well, screwing it up?

Originally Posted by ScientiaOmnisEst

I'm already involved with a workforce center, they basically gave me a temp job that ended in December. . .

What did you do there? Did you like it? Did you have a supervisor there or anybody at the workforce center that you might ask about what kind of work they think you would be well-suited for?

Originally Posted by ScientiaOmnisEst

My guilt seems to be chronic, I don't know what life would be like without it.':/ . . .

That’s a big one. That may indeed be a mountain that needs to be overcome. Constant foot-shooting.

Originally Posted by ScientiaOmnisEst

. . .I realize another problem: I'm useless with computers, despite my age (21). I type 30 wpm (or less), and that's with 100-200 errors. . .

So I'm completely useless in any modern setting. I should really stop trying and just give up.

Now that’s just ridiculous! I used to program computers and it is NOT about typing speed! Do you like knowing how they work? Or graphic design? Maybe not, but those are certainly more important in many technical jobs in a modern setting. Not that you can get one NOW necessarily but to aim for in the future, if that kind of stuff appeals to you.

You’ve written a lot about what’s “wrong” with you but I’m wondering about some of what’s “right”. Again, what do you like to do? What have you done well in the past? Not to brag, but it’s a way to start to looking at how you can use your strengths. Everybody’s got some and I didn’t see where you were writing about them. Except, as I said, your writing itself demonstrates strength in that area. And this comment.

. . and the only work I've ever done was a very temporary job basically given to me via a youth work program. I mean, I did well there, but it's over now. . .

Forget that it's over now. Every job ends eventually. What's not to forget, when looking over your good points, is

I mean, I did well there

I know it's tough. I really do. And I'm with Blue Crustacean, seems like you may have a self-hate thing going on there which doesn't help a lot -- that's a tough one, no doubt about it, I know it well, maybe not a subject for this thread, though. Good luck. I wish you the best, and soon!

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Thanks, here today. Let's see:

Originally Posted by here today

If you don’t mind my asking. Why no chance of going back? Or, if not now, maybe sometime? What were you studying? What subjects did you like? What subjects, or other activities, were you good at?

I originally intended to go into some kind of STEM field (prestige, good job prospects, etc), but finally had to admit I'm not cut out for it. First, I'm no scientist or engineer, personality-wise; second, I failed almost all my classes, some of them multiple times, mostly because I can't do math. Even my basic arithmetic is slow.

I've actually thought of fixing myself in that area, at least to balance myself out. I'm mostly verbal and literary (not necessarily social though, or artistic), these days learning even scares me a little.

Where did you get that idea? Or – another angle – why do you care? What would you like to be doing with your life instead of, well, screwing it up?

I'm 21, on welfare because I don't want to go back home (may or may not have had any right to run away in the first place), no degree, no job, no personality even. No achievements behind me and very little prospects before me. I fail at most things I try and am unwittingly addicted to foot-shooting and other self-depreciation.

Sometimes I try to fantasize about what I would do if I were self sufficient... it's never clear.

What did you do there? Did you like it? Did you have a supervisor there or anybody at the workforce center that you might ask about what kind of work they think you would be well-suited for?

The job was at a store; I did sorting, arranging, cleaning, and some cashiering and bagging. I didn't mind it, though it got a bit boring near the end of the assignment.

I'm still working closely with the workforce center, and sometimes get job leads, but nothing leads anywhere. I even signed up with several job search agencies and neither of them have said a word to me in six months.

Now that’s just ridiculous! I used to program computers and it is NOT about typing speed! Do you like knowing how they work? Or graphic design? Maybe not, but those are certainly more important in many technical jobs in a modern setting. Not that you can get one NOW necessarily but to aim for in the future, if that kind of stuff appeals to you.

I was thinking more in terms of things like office work when I wrote that - it's also closer to 50wpm now with practice.

Every now and then I think I'd like to learn more about computers or electronics in general, if only to avoid being made totally obsolete in the coming years. I actually bookmarked some stuff about graphic design (except I'm a terrible artist, so I'm not sure how well that would go). A few times I tried to learn more about electronic hardware... and failed. If I try to learn it from a book, I retain little. But there's no way for me to teach myself without spending loads of money on stuff to take apart. Even that might not work out; when my last tablet broke I tried to fix it myself. I couldn't even get the backing off, I popped off and lost the power button, and have no idea if I damaged anything inside. Too bad because according to the tutorials online, it should be fixable.

Aside from really lame soft skills, and writing about myself, I'm not sure what my strengths are.