[K2TOG]

It has been a while since I posted and wanted to give an update. I finally got fed up with my coworker and quit my job. I gave two weeks notice and ended on good terms with my supervisor. Honestly, I have no regrets and I am so much happier. No more anxiety and neck aches. I AM FREE!!!! I feel like I got released from jail and now I can do what ever I want when I want. This includes going to school during the day!

Financially I am okay for a while, but the problem is I don't want to get a job. My social anxiety has flared up. I just want to stay home and not have to interact with the world.

The other issue that has crept back is low self esteem and dropping confidence. I'm starting to wonder if I can really graduate college and if I am smart enough. It's like I have a very low opinion of myself. I think everyone is smarter than me. When I make a mistake I beat myself up relentlessly thinking I'm dumb and can't handle what I am doing.

I'm mainly venting, but would appreciate any advice on how to deal with my feelings. I have not seen my counselor in a year and stopped because I made a lot of progress and was in a good place. Maybe I need to have a tune up with my counselor.

Thanks for listening.

[Skeezyks]

Hello K2TOG: Yes, a tune-up with your counselor sounds good! The Skeezyks is sorry you are having so much difficulty feeling yourself to be of value. I have this problem as well. And I also beat myself up relentlessly whenever anything goes wrong. The past few days seem to have been particularly difficult for me in that regard. I don't know why.

I'm glad you have been able to quit your job & still be financially okay. The one caution I would have here would be that staying at home alone can get to be a habit. (It's one I have.) The good thing in my case is I'm old enough that it no longer matters. For a younger person, however, it can become a trap.

[avlady]

skeez it is true to me too that all this doesn't seem as important when we are older-i am 55. in the past i had the same problem. it could become a trap, i am almost a hermit as i am afraid i'll have seizures or freak out mentally. that is why i don't fight meds anymore too. it turned out to be a good thing for me, i speak for myself here.

[rechu]

You are not alone. I left my job at the end of April due to a lying, abusive boss with anger management issues, wo was giving me panic attacks and anxiety. Unfortunately, it was not amicable. He thinks I betrayed him.

Like you, I am having a hard time to see what is going to come next. I have worked mainly from home for years, so working in an office all day is not something I want to do. I also have a very needy dog that doesn't handle being alone all day, so that really limits what I can apply for. I have applied to a few freelance things, but nothing yet, and am exploring a small business idea. At least my husband makes good money, but I feel badly about not contributing financially.

The whole situation has done a number on my self-esteem and confidence too, especially since I was out of work for a while before I started the last job. I began the last job with hope that it would be a good opportunity. I worked hard and did my best to contribuite. But after a year and a half of mistreatment and broken promises, I was left an emotional mess.

It sounds like a visit to your counselor would be a positive first step. Hopefully, they can help you with some of your self-esteem/confidence issues. Hugs!!

[Pretzelle]

I'm glad you got out of that bad situation at work! I know exactly how you feel. Maybe you can talk to your counselor about jobs in your area of study that wouldn't require you to be in an office all day interacting with a lot of people?

[K2TOG]

Thank you all so for responding and the advice! I had a "tune up" with my counselor and I am feeling so much better. My counselor has a way of putting things in perspective and we go over CBT.

Sometimes when I feel bad my thoughts spiral downward and it's hard to think rational when my anxiety increases. It's not always easy to get out of that funk. So an occasional tune up with my counselor is a good thing.

Leaving my job was the best decision and I am so thankful I don't have to deal with that crap anymore.

[jade0610]

A tune-up with your therapist would be a good start.

Reconnecting with the therapist will allow you to interact and socialize with someone outside of your home so you don't become a hermit. They may be able to validate your feelings and/or reasonings behind wanting a break, help you set short- and long term career goals, as well as determine goals in your personal life.

[havelovea19]

I admire you. Because I'm looking for a good job but I can't find