Anxiety and self doubt about career/job

Wasn't my job. Another department. Wheeeeww!

No interview today. VP has 2 offices in 2 locations and I went to the one she's normally at and she went to the other.

She did apologize (several times) as the HR invite was not in any way clear. Not her fault though, was HR. But she rescheduled for tomorrow morning and expanded the time from 30 minutes to an hour. Said she wanted to spend more time with me.

My boss was super smiley today when I talked to her about the interview and told me I didn't need to worry. Then met her after I got back and told her about the mixup and she was very understanding. Seemed scared/shocked at first, but was happy that it was rescheduled.

Now I don't know what to think about anything. So, tonight I'm not gonna. Going to watch the 3rd season of Penny Dreadful and chill. What happens was going to happen, so nothing I can change now.

Still don't want to let myself feel this is a done deal. Lots to point at to indicate that it might go my way, but I'm just not ready to drop the worry. Well, I AM ready to stop worrying, but not until everything is done. And tonight I'm not going to worry about anything. Except Vanessa.

Denied. As expected.

Oh no, really??? Two days early? Did they offer you anything else? A plan and support for a promotion in the future? What did your boss think? It's kind of weird your boss was suggesting you had this.

That really sucks, I'm sorry.

I would also want to explore other options.

VP asked who could take my place in my current role and I honestly had to say no one. I am where I am because I put the time in to learn and grow. She said she needs me in my current position because the department and the company need someone with deep technical skills in the exact position I have now. I'm feeling that was a last minute decision for her.

So, while objectively it sounds nice to be valued at what you do, I'm not ready yet to give up on my career and just settle. I'm capable of more and she knows I am. She added more responsibilities to me after the meeting.

She said she had some other things going on that would likely affect the department more than just hiring another manager. So, other than I'm not getting the position, I don't know what's going to happen. There is an individual contributor role above mine, but rarely given to anyone, so I could make a pitch for that. But that's just more money, not really a change in responsibilities.

I'm going to give it a little time while I upgrade my management type skills and start networking and see what happens next. I'm either part of the company's future or I'm not. I'll be prepared either way.

I've seen a clip from Malcom in the Middle "I expect nothing and I'm still let down." I knew from the start that I wasn't going to get it and yet I'm still disappointed.

Thanks for responding hvert! I do appreciate that you took the time.

Sorry Xando
Perhaps the universe has something better in store for you. Xo

What a disappointing response.

I find it really annoying that they are not promoting you because no one can take your place in your current role. That is a ridiculous reason, incredibly short sighted. I guess it's better than telling you to do two jobs at once, but still ridiculous.

You have leverage here. I would make them give you something in return for you not getting the promotion, like managerial training or something else that will improve the skill sets you need to manage. Ha ha, maybe they can send you to a conference where you can network for a new job. Or let you hire someone to take on some of your current duties??

They are poorly run if they have all their eggs in one basket/employee. Yes, it is nice to be wanted, but things should not fall apart if one employee transitions up or out.

Thanks sans! Other than the lack of promotion, the universe is doing OK by me already. At some point we have to make our own destiny and I think I'm at that point. But I'll take the universe's help.

Thanks hvert!

It was the exact reason I knew from the start I wouldn't get the promotion. And if I'm honest it's not a bad decision on her part. We're a technology group staffed by nice people who just aren't very technical. We both know the department is in trouble with what the company is trying to do. But it IS short sighted to not at least give me a valid reason to stay. Just assuming I won't leave isn't that good.

This is however a good kick in the pants for me to make changes. I doubt that anything I do will be enough to get me promoted here, but I can certainly make myself a better candidate elsewhere. And who knows, maybe whatever is going on that is supposed to affect the department more than just this position, will mean other opportunities.

I'm not planning to quit right away as I do like what I'm doing and I do feel valuable, but I now have a less naive view. So that's good.

Still very disappointed, but not struggling to recover. I KNOW what I need to do for the future.

Thanks again to everyone for putting up with me. I know how lucky I am, but anxiety doesn't care.