[hvert]

Sorry, need to vent.

I started doing contracting work for a company 18 months ago. It was supposed to be part time, but the workload has grown to the point where I am working close to full time hours for this one place, answering calls/emails 7 days a week. I'm so drained from dealing with this company that I am not pursuing other clients or opportunities.

I'm being pressured to quit contracting and work full time for them. I don't want to, but I also don't want to give up the work at this time of year. I do not want to do this kind of work for other clients. I hate my field (IT).

I'm also upset because they are paying other vendors and contractors a lot more than they are paying me. They had me get a quote from someone to install some equipment. They thought the person charged too much, so now it's going to be my job to install all of it, for 1/4 the price.

How do you disengage? Stuff happens at this place that just makes me so mad. I come home and I'm angry and upset about what happened during the day. All I want to do is vegetate, binge read novels, surf the web. I wish I could replace this income some other way but I am so tired and discouraged at the end of the day that I can't even think about how.

Sounds similar to my situation. I work in IT as well and because I can do a lot of stuff, management is happy to just dump it on me. So, I have too much to do and can't give each thing enough time to do it well.

I got nothing on how to disengage. I cope the same way. Netflix or Spotify to have noise and surfing the internet. Walking my dogs helps a little.

But I completely understand what you're going through.

[hvert]

I think that is how all of my IT jobs have been. I get more and more dumped on me until I can't take it anymore and leave... and then they hire 2-4 people to replace me and I want to scream.

I saw your other thread - I hope you get the job and I would have similar feelings about wanting to leave if I didn't, even if I enjoyed the job itself. I think it can be hard to get promoted when you are technically competent because they start to think they can't replace you.

Know the feeling. Feels good to know you're important, but just not THAT important. For me some of it is just how I deal with things. Self doubt doesn't let me speak up. But I've noticed that when I do, they do listen. Just need to allow myself to speak up more.

I don't get businesses who go on about how hard it is to find good employees when they already have some. But they only think quarter to quarter and the big bosses jobs are just as in jeopardy.

hvert, have a great weekend and hang in there!

Would you consider working for yourself? Then you could get paid properly. I know,it's a big step, but I've been doing it for 6 months now and I don't think I could go back to working for anyone again. PM me if you'd like any advice.

[seesaw]

I think you have to have the courage to say "no, I won't install this equipment for this price. I can give you a quote for what it will cost me to do it, but I won't do it for free." Since you are an independent contractor, you can say "this is not part of the existing agreement" and make them pay you for the work.

Seeswa

[hvert]

Little_Cat, I do work for myself, but I'm letting myself be treated like an employee I've stayed here too long. I feel like when I started I had much better boundaries, but now I am just completely sucked in. The reason I wanted to be a contractor was so I could feel independent and not be as bothered by decisions I disagree with.

It's so discouraging.

[Yzen]

When I worked as a contractor, it was a challenge balancing the customer's expectations and my needs. It has to work for you and them or it becomes stressful....but, you already are living it. You deserve a better work situation!

[guilloche]

Ugh... I'm sorry that it's so terrible. I have a couple thoughts, but none of them are really easy.

1. How long have you been there now? If it's been more than a year, could you renegotiate your pay? Just about everywhere I've worked, employees and contractors get evaluated for raises on an annual basis. You're doing more work than you (and they, I think?) anticipated. It might be time to raise your prices.

I get that you might not want to do this, since you want to disengage with this place. But, I wonder if doing that would help you feel more in control (even if just for a bit), feel more valued (by getting paid closer to what you're worth) and make it easier to build up your savings, so that you can get out of there?

2. I very much agree with Seesaw. I think that, in general, people (or companies) are willing to take (and demand) as much as they can get from us. It's in *their* best interests, right? And, until they bump up against a boundary from us... they're going to keep doing it. They might not even realize it's a problem (like, "Wow, isn't it great that Hvert is willing to put in all these extra hours! Look, I just found even more work to keep her busy!")

Boundaries are hard. Sometimes risky (i.e. you don't want to lose the job, and it feels like saying "no" might prompt them to find someone else who can say "yes") - but it's important to be clear about you can/will do versus what you can't/won't.

It sounds like the most helpful boundary for you might be to not work on days that you haven't already agreed to. Working 7 days a week is CRAZY, by the way. Nobody should have to endure that! We all need time off, away from the office, to be human and live life! It's a totally unfair thing for them to expect of you, but... it's your life... it's up to you to protect yourself (from exhaustion, burnout, overwork) by putting up that boundary and enforcing it.

3. I know, I've already told you this, but I really do think that you should present yourself as the "expert" and strongly suggest to them that they bring on at least one other IT person to help out. You can sell them on this - tell them it will give them constant coverage, it will help make sure they still have someone around when you're out of the office or on vacation, explain that the work they need done is more than one person can handle in the hours that you've agreed to work... (maybe more than one person can do full-time even?)...

Just some ideas... I think I've shared them all with you before, so apologies if it's repetitive!

[hvert]

Thanks everyone. I didn't respond to emails over the weekend and am going to try not checking on my days off.

This place has very little respect for domain expertise, whether that expertise has to do with legal matters, HR, IT, whatever. I don't think I can or want to change their culture. I just want it not to bother me. Having better boundaries, like I did when I started, should help.

[Jane_Friday]

Have a similar problem. Up until now I worked as a contractor (not IT), to maintein a sense of independence at to keep my options.
But when I come home, I'm so tired, drained and just want to forget about all the crap that is going on at work that I distract myself with anything I can get my hands on, books, video games, videos, surfing...
So I get less of my own stuff done.
So I'm stuck in this situation.

[Quarter life]

You are currently working on a contractual basis....Therefore you presumably have a contract with this company that stipulates duties and pay scale. I would request a meeting to talk to your employer about maybe drawing up a new 'employment' contract based on a commensurate salary in line with clearly defined duties. If they are happy with your performance thus far they will most probably be willing to negotiate with you on this issue.

Be kind to yourself hvert...and Good Luck.

Hey hvert! Thanks for replying on my thread.

I hope you do find a way to not let the job bother you. Boundaries are good.

When I was a contractor I thought I'd be more independent, but that was rarely the case. Outside of payroll and HR, everyone treated me like an employee. Which just enforces the need for better boundaries. So the independence comes with the need to make them aware that you are a contractor and have different needs.

Anyway. Good luck with your situation, I hope things get better for you.