[Woodchuck]

I quit my job last week, gave no notice. I just couldn't do it anymore. They were hassling me about a work restriction I had, and instead of just staffing at the normal level (and thus solving the restriction issue) they said it was my fault that I couldn't handle the heaviest workloads of the week with half the staff we needed. I also got in trouble for reporting a coworker who made a verbal threat against another coworker. I was reamed out by the manager at 6:30 am after a grueling 12 hour understaffed shift and told that how DARE I make these accusations and that I need to expect the best from people not the worst.

I have NO money saved up. I will be able to pay rent for December with my final paycheck, and then after that I am completely broke. I am waiting on unemployment and hoping that the company doesn't fight my claim. Since I quit it's going to be hard to get benefits but I have an email trail from my supervisors about the work restriction so if I need to use that I will. I have a feeling they are vindictive enough to contest my claim.

How do I get through the next few weeks? I have about $60 cash. I am looking for work but how do I answer why I left this job? I was rejected from my "dream" job three days after I quit, I had gotten 2 interviews with them and they just said I was no longer under consideration. I was counting on that to be my "out" but anytime I get excited about something it never works out.

I'm good at what I do and get along with my colleagues, but I seem to have a serious issue with managers. When I get another job, I am going to make sure that I shut up, never take a sick day, don't volunteer anything and keep my head down. Maybe that way I will be able to stick it out. Feeling like a huge failure at 39 and facing moving in with my parents.

[leejosepho]

I often used to write "poor management" as my reason for leaving my last job, then one prospective employer began asking questions about that while saying he wanted to know whether that was the actual problem or I was simply a malcontent....and I am *not* saying or suggesting that is your case. Some managers seem so busy trying to satisfy their own bosses that they do not realize what is actually going on out on the floor, and I think it best to try to help the manager get his or her own job done rather than asking for something such as additional staff where that is likely not his or her decision anyway.

[eyesclosed]

I don't know what state u work in or your restrictions. Employment law is tilted towards employers. They didn't know about your restrictions until after u were hired and made accommodations For u? This would be harassment. Don't say u quit say it was a constructive discharge . This sounds like you were forced out by the harassment.

[alicetailor]

Don’t worry Woodchuck, you will get another job! Keep trying!

[Woodchuck]

I think there's something wrong with me that I can't keep jobs very well. The longest I have had a job was 7 years but most other jobs end after 2 years. I think I have a problem with authority. Can't afford my therapist right now so I will just have to keep looking for work.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by Woodchuck

...just couldn't do it anymore...

I think there's something wrong with me that I can't keep jobs very well.

Some people might say (or might at least think) we are defective if we cannot just "suck it up" and keep right on working no matter what, but in reality it is more like so many of today's workplaces are defective. So, maybe just take a look at what we expect from a job (sense of fulfillment, decent pay, recognition, etc.) and/or while we are there (reasonable workload, fair treatment, healthy environment) and then assess the matter of compromises needed at one place or another if it might be the overall best available.

[rechu]

Yeah, I agree with leejosepho, I think a lot of workplaces are toxic/stressful these days. I quit an absolutely awful work situation eariler this year without anything lined up because dealing with my boss was giving me panic attacks, so I know how some jobs can push you to your limits. Fortunately, my husband makes decent money and we were able to get by okay. I recently started another job.

I am thinking that going to a temp agency might be an option to get some money coming in quickly while you look for something more permanent. I have done that in the past, and they can usually place you pretty quickly. Lots of people take vacation around the holidays, so they might need people to fill in.

[BadWolfC]

Just put "resigned to seek other career options" on your resume, and don't use them as a reference. I've had LOTS of jobs end that way, that I've always gotten around it that way. I don't normally get questioned from that. I've had to lie about past jobs to get new ones several times, but it's always worked out. It sounds like it was a bad situation, not something that was your fault. I've dealt with several toxic jobs myself, and I reacted exactly the same way. Try not to blame yourself too harshly.

[seesaw]

I"m sorry you're going through this, Woodchuck. ((HUGS))

[hvert]

7 years is a long time! Hope you are doing okay.

[winter4me]

Originally Posted by Woodchuck

I think there's something wrong with me that I can't keep jobs very well. The longest I have had a job was 7 years but most other jobs end after 2 years. I think I have a problem with authority. Can't afford my therapist right now so I will just have to keep looking for work.

By my standards 7yrs is a LONG TIME.
And I"ve worked full time in a profession for near 40yrs...

[Woodchuck]

I did get a couple responses from part-time jobs, so hopefully I can start back at work soon. And I got approved for unemployment, which will be a HUGE help. So I have a little breathing room. Thanks guys for your support!

[Woodchuck]

I just wanted to thank everyone who read my thread and gave me feedback. I've been rereading my past threads with a more critical eye, and I find that my attitude towards my job has been a bit off.

As much as I want to believe that it was the job that was the problem, it was me. I was the one with the excessive absenteeism. I was the one who "started" things by sending emails (regardless of my intent, my wording never came out quite as neutrally as I thought it did). I thought that I was important enough to merit consideration from management, when in reality, I was just a warm body filling a slot. And that is ok--that's basically what jobs want. They don't want employees who cause any turbulence, no matter the reason. I can be ok with that.

Currently unemployed but on the cusp of starting a per diem gig at what is probably the best job I will ever have (at least the most prestigious), I am trying to back myself down from how I view work and management. It is a privilege to have a job, and my employer has every right to expect attendance and compliance with their policies. I am certain I will encounter coworkers who are favorites, who slack, and who are not competent. My job, should I choose to accept it ( ) is to keep my head down, watch and learn, try to fit in, and above all, do my job to the best of my ability. It doesn't matter what people say about me, although if it's grossly untrue and reported to management I may try to speak to someone to clarify (and have documentation as well). Bullying is legal, and most things that bother me don't even rise to that level. There is no requirement for my coworkers to like me, but I would hope that they come to respect me.

The bottom line is that everyone is replaceable, and I need income. So it's with this in mind that I am trying to get ready for this new opportunity.

I don't know if it's my depression being less awful than normal, and I kind of question if I am having a hypomanic phase (not bipolar that I know of, but all I really know is depression), but somehow I feel at peace with 1) having quit the job that wasn't a good fit, and 2) finding another job willing to give me a chance.

We'll see how things go--I am hoping to give my life a reboot and figure out a way to not let things bother me so much. I haven't really felt this peaceful about the future in my entire life.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by Woodchuck

...my employer has every right to expect attendance and compliance with their policies...
My job, should I choose to accept it ( ) is to keep my head down, watch and learn, try to fit in, and above all, do my job to the best of my ability.

Seeing ourselves as the employer hopes we will be is definitely better than trying to train an employer...and then sometimes the next challenge is to let the employer do the training of the other employees! Let us know how things go...

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by Woodchuck

I just wanted to thank everyone who read my thread and gave me feedback. I've been rereading my past threads with a more critical eye, and I find that my attitude towards my job has been a bit off.

As much as I want to believe that it was the job that was the problem, it was me. I was the one with the excessive absenteeism. I was the one who "started" things by sending emails (regardless of my intent, my wording never came out quite as neutrally as I thought it did). I thought that I was important enough to merit consideration from management, when in reality, I was just a warm body filling a slot. And that is ok--that's basically what jobs want. They don't want employees who cause any turbulence, no matter the reason. I can be ok with that.

Currently unemployed but on the cusp of starting a per diem gig at what is probably the best job I will ever have (at least the most prestigious), I am trying to back myself down from how I view work and management. It is a privilege to have a job, and my employer has every right to expect attendance and compliance with their policies. I am certain I will encounter coworkers who are favorites, who slack, and who are not competent. My job, should I choose to accept it ( ) is to keep my head down, watch and learn, try to fit in, and above all, do my job to the best of my ability. It doesn't matter what people say about me, although if it's grossly untrue and reported to management I may try to speak to someone to clarify (and have documentation as well). Bullying is legal, and most things that bother me don't even rise to that level. There is no requirement for my coworkers to like me, but I would hope that they come to respect me.

The bottom line is that everyone is replaceable, and I need income. So it's with this in mind that I am trying to get ready for this new opportunity.

I don't know if it's my depression being less awful than normal, and I kind of question if I am having a hypomanic phase (not bipolar that I know of, but all I really know is depression), but somehow I feel at peace with 1) having quit the job that wasn't a good fit, and 2) finding another job willing to give me a chance.

We'll see how things go--I am hoping to give my life a reboot and figure out a way to not let things bother me so much. I haven't really felt this peaceful about the future in my entire life.

Wow, you have done some really great introspection. Good for you.

I would say, you don't have to completely keep your head down. I always feel like, keep your head down until you get the job down pat, and then you can start making suggestions or trying to contribute new ideas.

I think you will do really well at your new job. And don't be too hard on yourself. You've been trying to work while dealing with your mental health, and also, sometimes a bad job fit really overshadows everything.

Seesaw

[winter4me]

[Misssy2]

What to say for leaving the old job is a tough one ..(eyesclosed said "constructive discharge"). I never heard that..but it is a suggestion. Is the restriction you have based on a disability? I ask that because if it was...you could mention that as a reason for leaving (many companies HIRE people with disabilities to meet some minority quota and get some bonus).

And..if it was a disability restriction that was properly documented by a physician than you have a legal case (using the American Disability Act) against your former employer for possibly not complying with minimum accommodation requests (if they were in writing).

I was in a situation where my Dr. requested accomodation and my employer said they could not meet it...it was all in writing...but my requests were not reasonable for the job I was doing. If your requests were reasonable and not taken seriously..lawsuit.

Example: My job was mostly standup 95%. I was requesting a 80% reduction and suggesting other tasks I COULD do..basically changing the whole job..they said nadda...I lose.

Anyway...EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
ONE DOOR CLOSES and ANOTHER OPENS....These are not cliche's if you BELIEVE them. Make yourself believe them and everything will work out.

I'm sorry the new job opportunity did not work out..but something else WILL...you are only 39...and you are not a failure...look at this like - YOU ARE BRAVE....you took a stand against employee abuse (not enough staff and too much pressure)....

If you have a genuine disability that you need accommodation for...than get that in writing from a Dr. and hold on to it, in case a situation arises in your next place of employment where you need to present it..and there will be a NEXT employment..

As far as paying rent for January..what is your relationship with your landlord? Work something out...Income tax is coming isn't it? Also, churches in your area (my sister in law) asked a church for help and they paid 1/2 her rent. She was not a patron of the church...she just went there and asked...you just have to live in the same city. A church in my area gave them a gas card. So if you go to a local church..if they can't help you..they may know someone that can.

Go apply for Food Stamps today or tomorrow. Look for soup kitchens in your area (many give away free food to take home)...You will get thru this...

[Misssy2]

oops..just read your update...SEE..I knew you would do ok....Congratulations..please update again...its interesting to see someone "WIN".

And I agree that you have been very introspective....I did the same thing after a while from leaving my old job...realizing...it was ME that was the problem...oh well...that's how it is. Congratulations on your new opportunity!

How about looking into "Temping" as both a temporary way to extend your unemployment and also, a permanent solution.

When was laid off a few years ago I would do temping that usually went about 12 weeks. Then would extend my unemployment as officially ending a temp job is losing the job through no fault of your own. I really enjoyed temping as it allowed me to do different things with different people and frankly I wasn't expected to produce too much. Because I was a "temp".