[AllTheThingsIHide]

I work in jewellery sales and I love my job. Studying gemstones when I was a little girl is properly my only good memory from childhood, so I am really passionate about it.

I have extremely low self esteem and one member of staff is making it worse and worse to the point I can't take it anymore.

She's my supervisor, so she's in a position of power over me. She makes me feel completely worthless and not good enough for anything. It's completely ruined my moral at work. She's so rude and confrontational with everything. She once stood behind me and physically pushed me forward to go and speak to a client, which with my ptsd she's lucky I didn't break her jaw because of that. She picks on every tiny thing I do. She embarrasses me in front of clients. When I do sales practices with her she purposely sabotages it so I get a bad score. She makes me feel like I don't belong there. I know hate is a strong word but I really believe I hate this woman because of how much she's destroyed any tiny bit of confidence I can muster. The worst part of it all is she knows about my depression, anxiety and ptsd because I was forced to tell her just because I had a panic attack because of work and couldn't go, she sat there rolling her eyes and stuff, it was humiliating. I don't know where to go with this because she's got me to a point where I feel that rock bottom and my self esteem is none existent, I feel like with all the put downs she's given me for years, that I deserve to be treated this way. I feel like all my colleagues would take her side because they've known her longer and they see her socially.

Do you think it's possible for my therapist to speak to my head office and explain how much her unprofessional behaviour is ruining my mental health? Because I feel like I'd get scared and hold back, or do what I do everyday and just tell myself it'll get better but it never does. I also feel like if it came from my therapist they'd believe him more, because he's a professional and could fully explain the implications of her actions. This isn't just affecting work it's effecting my whole life. If anyone has any advice it would be much appreciated, as I don't think I can cope much longer.

[Yzen]

She isn't treating you with respect and is a bully. I wonder if she feels threatened by you...maybe she sees your potential and puts you down to make herself feel superior. She might also feel you won't confront her, so she continues. Talking to your therapist about it is good. Sorry you are going through this.

I am SO sorry you are experiencing bullying from your supervisor. I feel for you as I have been in your shoes.

My boss used to be the same towards me, and it got so bad that I became suicidal and had to take four and a half months off from work. I went to HR about her bullying, and now she can no longer bully me. HR put a stop to it, and now everything she says and does is watched over by HR.

Usually in cases like this where the person is above you, they DO feel threatened by you, your skills and your competence and that is why they bully. My boss is less competent and less intelligent than I am, I had better ideas than she did, so she bullied me for it. This is very common, I have read.

I don't know how your therapist could help, I would think that someone in the organization itself needs to put a stop to it. Someone who has power over her.

Do you have a human resources department or HR individual you can speak with? Or, what about going over her head to her boss or the company owner about her bullying? Is there someone above her you can speak with?

If there IS someone you can speak with within the organization, write down all incidents (as best as you can remember them), write down exactly what she has said to you and how she has behaved with each instance, and present that to the person you want to speak with. Approach it calmly and professionally, as best you can.

The thing is, if we present our mental health issues as a reason why we are having trouble with this person, it could dilute or cloud the main point -- that the person is bullying. The mental health issues will make it seem like it's YOU and not THEM. That's just my own thought, though... I could be wrong, but it is my gut feeling.

You could say that her bullying is impacting your mental health and is making your symptoms worse.

Also, never ever ever think that you deserve this kind of treatment. This is HER issue. She is a bully and is abusive. It is not YOU, it's HER. (((((Hugs))))

I truly hope you can find a resolution to this and soon. You deserve to feel good about yourself and to not have someone be stomping all over your self-worth and self-esteem.

[Shazerac]

Welcome to psych central

Do they have somewhere for people with disabilities to go to in order to report abuse by your employer where you live? Something like a disability advocate or something similar that you can contact and they take up your case and help you. If so, I would report her. She is little more than a bully who needs to be put in her place.

Perhaps somebody else here more knowledgeable on this subject can advise you further. I figured that I should have brought it up since nobody else did and I'm all about practical advice.

If all else fails, there is also the option of luring her into an alley or something off shift and kneecapping her with a hammer or attacking her pressure points in an area of her body that bruises can be easily concealed like her torso and threatening to hurt her further if she tells anybody. Of course, I'm not advising you to do some of this but that's what I would do in your shoes if I couldn't get a disability advocate to help me or help from within the company like others suggested. Sometimes, might does make right and all a bully like her understands is might because she has proven to be a brute that can't be reasoned with.

Do whatever you must to take care of yourself. You shouldn't have to quit a job that you enjoy over another person. Stand up for yourself no matter what. If doing so gets you fired, than at least you won't have to deal with her making you miserable anymore.

[Molson Can]

I don't think it is your therapist that should be talking. It should be you.

1) You can confront this person and ask why he / she is being so hard on you. That if she has an issue with something you truly did wrong, to pull you aside and discuss in private. It does not look good for her or the business to be berating an employee in front of customers.

You can also go to his / her boss or go to Human Resources.

I would start documenting all these events in a journal. That way when you present your case, you have the specifics of the date, event, and what she did.

I would use your therapist as a practice.

Years ago, I wanted to speak to my then boss, the owner of the company. I get really nervous and anxious at these things. I wrote out the points I wanted to discuss on paper and had that with me just in case.

Hope that helps and be Strong!