[GoodVibrations101]

I see the American workforce as so obedient and practical that when co-workers see an unfair firing I don't think they really care unless it directly impacts them. I just got fired and yet none of my co-workers emailed me that day to tell me how bad they felt for me. One co-worker told me the day that I was packing up my stuff, but none emailed me later to offer their condolences.

How strange is this? What motivates this out-of-sight-out-of-mind mentality?

Sorry to hear that.

Just curious, did you work for a large or small company? I started to get used to this pay-no-mindedness with larger companies, but the two small companies I've worked for were a lot friendlier, and a lot more sympathetic when I was laid off. It took me by surprise.

[FallDuskTrain]

Originally Posted by GoodVibrations101

I see the American workforce as so obedient and practical that when co-workers see an unfair firing I don't think they really care unless it directly impacts them. I just got fired and yet none of my co-workers emailed me that day to tell me how bad they felt for me. One co-worker told me the day that I was packing up my stuff, but none emailed me later to offer their condolences.


How strange is this? What motivates this out-of-sight-out-of-mind mentality?

I am sorry. It sucks. I know. I'm still struggling with it. I have come to terms that I need to lower my expectations about professional environment.

with that being said, Yes, It is a very common behavior practiced in the professional environment in the US. Another reason can be because people, especially in the US, do not like to get into someone's else's drama and conflict or meddle into other people's business.
May be some people want to contact you but they think it is too early to do so. Maybe they are respecting your space and giving you some time to process it. Americans aren't all that bad. They actually can be very polite and caring. It takes a long time.
However, The substance of the problem doesn't change: one will not find social support in a professional environment, unless something major happens (loss in family, etc).

I think it's common, unfortunately, for people to immediately shun and ignore their colleagues who've been fired, because they are afraid any sympathy they publicly show will put a target on their back, to be fired next. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it seems to be the way higher education and corporate America works here in the U.S. It's the American way. Our work culture is toxic, doesn't support the individual in times of need (have to leave work to have a baby, too bad, you won't get paid; have to go to a funeral, too bad, you won't get paid; fire-at-will states means you can be fired for any reason whatsoever; the 40 hour work-week is grueling and thankless and bad for one's physical and mental and emotional health).

Read The Culture Map by Erin Meyer. It shows just how much better life is in Western European countries, Latin American countries and Asian countries. Hell, it's better everywhere else but here. The grass IS greener across the oceans and seas, and brown and dying here in the U.S. b/c our gov't hates us.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/rawnsha.../#6cd40ddd5bcb

Sorry to hear that you got fired. That sucks. I hope you can find another job.

[rechu]

I have worked in the US and now am in South America. In the country where I live, if you have a work contract, then you definitely have more protections in the US - guaranteed paid vacation, paid holidays, paid maternity leave, etc. Independent contractors/freelancers not so much, although getting health insurance was easier/cheaper than in the US when I freelanced, at least.

As far as what happened with your co-workers, I am sorry to hear that. They may have not wanted stick out their necks, as others have said. There was a woman I worked with who wasn't offered an indefinite contract after her probationary period. She was a really sweet person. I did wait a few days to let her process things and then called her to say I was sorry to hear what happened and wished her good luck in the job search.

[Shazerac]

Originally Posted by GoodVibrations101

I see the American workforce as so obedient and practical that when co-workers see an unfair firing I don't think they really care unless it directly impacts them. I just got fired and yet none of my co-workers emailed me that day to tell me how bad they felt for me. One co-worker told me the day that I was packing up my stuff, but none emailed me later to offer their condolences.

How strange is this? What motivates this out-of-sight-out-of-mind mentality?

I'm sorry this happened to you. Many people are just afraid to say anything to someone who has been fired. It's not fair but it happens. It's also common practice in large corporations to immediately suspend access to the internet and emails. So maybe they couldn't email you.

[seesaw]

When I got "laid off", nice term for firing me because the new supervisor didn't like me because I actually knew how to do my job and she was a phony...even my best friend at the company didn't say anything to me. They were all phonies and assholes. When I left my last job due to illness, before that, no one called or got in touch with me either to see if I was okay or anything. It really surprised me.

I find that real loyalty is hard to come by. It really bothered me that no one bothered to check on me either. It was really ****** of them.

Seesaw

[GoodVibrations101]

Originally Posted by FallDuskTrain

I am sorry. It sucks. I know. I'm still struggling with it. I have come to terms that I need to lower my expectations about professional environment.

with that being said, Yes, It is a very common behavior practiced in the professional environment in the US. Another reason can be because people, especially in the US, do not like to get into someone's else's drama and conflict or meddle into other people's business.
May be some people want to contact you but they think it is too early to do so. Maybe they are respecting your space and giving you some time to process it. Americans aren't all that bad. They actually can be very polite and caring. It takes a long time.
However, The substance of the problem doesn't change: one will not find social support in a professional environment, unless something major happens (loss in family, etc).

I agree that it is common behavior, but I Have been at this school for one year, and I have stuck out my neck for a couple of the employees in other ways. I think I'm the type of person who will be loyal to my co-workers and support them, but some of them do not reciprocate. I just expect more from a school where I've worked a longer time, and I have had more contact with the fellow teachers.

My boss himself is the problem, and he is vindictive and punitive, so he would blame them if they showed sympathies with a fired employee like myself. I know they are right to be afraid of being labeled, but there are ways that they could contact me privately without the principal/boss finding out, and none of them have privately emailed or called me to offer condolences. It is just insult added to injury. I find in the American workplace, the only people who will really be there for a person if they have a problem--firing, divorce, sickness--are their immediate family (if they're lucky).

[FallDuskTrain]

Originally Posted by GoodVibrations101

I agree that it is common behavior, but I Have been at this school for one year, and I have stuck out my neck for a couple of the employees in other ways. I think I'm the type of person who will be loyal to my co-workers and support them, but some of them do not reciprocate. I just expect more from a school where I've worked a longer time, and I have had more contact with the fellow teachers.


My boss himself is the problem, and he is vindictive and punitive, so he would blame them if they showed sympathies with a fired employee like myself. I know they are right to be afraid of being labeled, but there are ways that they could contact me privately without the principal/boss finding out, and none of them have privately emailed or called me to offer condolences. It is just insult added to injury. I find in the American workplace, the only people who will really be there for a person if they have a problem--firing, divorce, sickness--are their immediate family (if they're lucky).

Yes
That is unfortunately is the case. The sooner we accept that reality, and stop controlling or changing it, the less we will suffer.
I have lived in the US majority of my life and I have gone through grief, cancer, homelessness, and more... yet, noone offered support. Not even a tiny 'how are you?'
It is not their fault. That is all they know. I have suffered from lack of attention while I was going through chemo and homeless but it was my fault to try to control others' actions.
We cannot make other people care for us.
Life is difficult for them as well.

[GoodVibrations101]

Originally Posted by FallDuskTrain

Yes
That is unfortunately is the case. The sooner we accept that reality, and stop controlling or changing it, the less we will suffer.
I have lived in the US majority of my life and I have gone through grief, cancer, homelessness, and more... yet, noone offered support. Not even a tiny 'how are you?'
It is not their fault. That is all they know. I have suffered from lack of attention while I was going through chemo and homeless but it was my fault to try to control others' actions.
We cannot make other people care for us.
Life is difficult for them as well.

I know Epictetus says that we have to accept what others do and just control our responses, but as a teacher it is part of my job to change how people behave. I routinely tell students they have to act differently, and I tell adults the same thing Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn't. I do not agree that it is necessary to passively react to whatever is thrown one's way without trying to guide their behavior. I do not see that to be the case, and there is collaboration, pressure, rules that leads to people changing their actions. I don't agree with how my boss, my psychologist, nor my co-workers handled this situation, and I ended my therapy with my therapist, so presumably loss of a client is a type of pressure.