[crazybeautifullife1]

(23 y/o female)

I'm really struggling with staying in work. I feel like, and have read countless forum posts on websites of people with similiar issues, a great deal of jobs nowadays require extroverted, chatty/'bubbly' or 'people persons'.

Which comes to my problem here:

I feel I may be an introvert as I have caught myself on countless occasions desperately needing some time on my own just to unwind and "chill out". I feel like this world is very ... full of "noise" sometimes and quite oftentimes that can REALLY wear me out. I read 'Quiet...' by Susan Cain and have looked up introversion and I definitely think I may be very introverted. I love spending time alone getting stuck into my hobbies, TV, or a good book or boxset -not literally stuck though! (i'm reading Doctor Sleep atm, is anyone a Stephen King fan here?) I can happily do this for days and not 'miss' socialising with lots of people, at all! Is that odd?

I've had a couple of jobs in the past, based in offices. These were a call centre and a recruitment agency. The people were fine, and I obviously spoke to them/was polite when required, but the problem I kept facing was that I struggled with allt he small talk. I always felt pressured to keep chatting / doing small talk, like these people seemed to be able to do so easily with eachother. Every person in the room was the same in this regard.

I feel so useless that this is pretty much the only thing that holds me back with being able to cope well in a job

I considered accounts work but A) I can't do accountancy (where it is common requirement to be 'good with numbers', and I found this one out the hard way lol..) and B) The 'sales-y' uber-extrovert environment still seems to be the norm in a lot of offices

I'd appreciate advice from all sorts of people!

[Shazerac]

I think an important thing to do is accept that you are an introvert. You're probably right that chatty sales oriented type of environment isn't a good fit for you. If you become comfortable with yourself you may not feel as pressured to engage in office small talk.

[Sunflower123]

I agree with Shazerac. Could you keep your eyes open for something besides accounting-type or sales-type work that might be a better fit for you? If you do stay in your current job, offset the drain by allowing plenty of alone time outside of work.

[8Loop]

What about trying some coping mechanisms to take a step back when you are at work? This has helped me in the past when I've worked highly social jobs. For example, a couple minutes of deep breathing, listening to a song or take a second to journal (I doodle). This way you can reconnect with yourself without getting overwhelmed with the extroverted culture of the office.
I found that at first it felt awkward to do my own thing but eventually it became more comfortable. I also found that the friends that I did make were more similar to me. As an introvert myself I can spot one across a room, so I bet you are not the only one in your office.

I am going back to work soon and, despite being the opposite (extremely gregarious), am desperate to find a job that doesn't involve people. My own case is my medications have made me look like a dolt all too often because I can't carry on a conversation very well. So yes, I find myself trying to avoid working with or dealing with people.

I have been considering then a manual repetitive job one where I must deal with others only infrequently.

How do you feel about such a thing? Could that work for you?

In my own example I have an in on a warehouse assembly person's job (filling orders and stacking pallets). Yes it's manual but I can live for the most part in my own 'world' concentrating only on getting the tasks done.

Hi there, you sound very much like my personality. I currently do a very introvert-friendly job of stocking items at a large store and aisle maintenance. I get to work alone for the most part aside from occasional customer questions. It's not a glamorous job but it doesn't drain me like a social job would. Perhaps you would consider looking at jobs that involve less interaction with people?

[crazybeautifullife1]

Originally Posted by Shazerac

I think an important thing to do is accept that you are an introvert. You're probably right that chatty sales oriented type of environment isn't a good fit for you. If you become comfortable with yourself you may not feel as pressured to engage in office small talk.

Thanks for the reply However, I did try not talking as much and really felt like some of the people at my recruitment agency job really didn't appreciate it lol...

[crazybeautifullife1]

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

Hi there, you sound very much like my personality. I currently do a very introvert-friendly job of stocking items at a large store and aisle maintenance. I get to work alone for the most part aside from occasional customer questions. It's not a glamorous job but it doesn't drain me like a social job would. Perhaps you would consider looking at jobs that involve less interaction with people?

Thanks for the reply scaredandconfused I notice you live in Canada. I don't hear of many 'shelf-stacker' jobs where I live in the UK, just retail assistant which requires quite a lot of customer interaction. I could look in to it though, so thanks!

[crazybeautifullife1]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I am going back to work soon and, despite being the opposite (extremely gregarious), am desperate to find a job that doesn't involve people. My own case is my medications have made me look like a dolt all too often because I can't carry on a conversation very well. So yes, I find myself trying to avoid working with or dealing with people.

I have been considering then a manual repetitive job one where I must deal with others only infrequently.

How do you feel about such a thing? Could that work for you?

In my own example I have an in on a warehouse assembly person's job (filling orders and stacking pallets). Yes it's manual but I can live for the most part in my own 'world' concentrating only on getting the tasks done.

Thanks for your detailed reply justafriend
I have had a warehouse and a production line position in the past. I wasn't overly keen on the environment/team in the warehouse one -were a bit 'rough', and sexism was rife Also, my ex-partner worked in a warehouse/foundry, and he was/is quite a 'rough' type

Maybe some warehouse environments are okay, although if I'm honest I'm not too sure about that... The pro of a warehouse or production line obviously like you say, is being able to be in your own world a bit more. It can't hurt to look in to it a little again I suppose.

[crazybeautifullife1]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I agree with Shazerac. Could you keep your eyes open for something besides accounting-type or sales-type work that might be a better fit for you? If you do stay in your current job, offset the drain by allowing plenty of alone time outside of work.

Hey Jennifer

Well I look at predominantly administrative-type roles, as that's where I've had the most working experience in and I also have done a diploma with Pitman Training in admin too. So it seems like I ought to stick to this really, otherwise my CV/work experience will look like I'm jumping into too many different sectors (I've done charity work, catering and warehouse work, but sticking to admin as it doesn't look too good to an employer, and at my age (24 next year), to change or keep doing different roles).

The only issue is, a LOT of admin roles nowadays tend to mix heavy socialising with work During my last role the radio was on, ALL. DAY. I don't understand how people can concentrate with music playing, and pretty loudly as well, 24/7. I find it so distracting!

I did try to cope by having time outside work yes, but I didn't get a lot of time to with the hours I was doing and the location I was at. When I stayed there I started to realise how miserable I'd gotten, pretty much every day, and how much I dreaded going in to work...I always felt far too overstimulated all the time, those people I was working with were like party animals!

I'm still looking for admin work, or indeed, at this stage, any work I can do, but will have to consider the environment more this time perhaps.

[acute.melancholia]

Hey there,
I can honestly relate to your text, not only the stuck in a good book part

I don't know if this may be a help for you, but you're NOT odd! I can only tell you my experiences..

I've been rather struggling with this topic in the past because I just thought I'm a weirdo and don't fit in with anybody in my daily life.

My time in school has often been very hard, as I felt left out because everyone else was very loud. It appeared to me that only the noisy people are worth listening to and quiet people are boring and shy. Made me feel scared of school, I didn't want to go there anymore.
Anyway this is definitely not the case! I've met so many different kinds of people and the ones that *appeared* silent actually were very interesting.

What helps me personally dealing with (especially loud) people in my daily life is very thought and attitude based. I know I don't have to marry them for God's sake. I don't have to meet them in my free time, it's perfectly fine if we are just nice and polite to each other. A book is always in my bag so I can just disengage if I need to.

Don't let this pull you down, as I guess you must have a strong personality! Sorry this has gotten a bit long ^^

Yes, admin work can be done in a number of environments and industries. So keep in mind the industry you are looking at, take note of the environment when you interview there and ask what the company culture is like.

Sounds like you need to steer clear of sales and recruiting industries, or of any industry that requires outgoing people and socializing. Perhaps look into being in an industry that caters more to the introvert. I worked as an admin in an academic environment, for example, and that seemed to be a bit more introverted. (((Hugs))))

Originally Posted by crazybeautifullife1

Thanks for your detailed reply justafriend
I have had a warehouse and a production line position in the past. I wasn't overly keen on the environment/team in the warehouse one -were a bit 'rough', and sexism was rife Also, my ex-partner worked in a warehouse/foundry, and he was/is quite a 'rough' type

Maybe some warehouse environments are okay, although if I'm honest I'm not too sure about that... The pro of a warehouse or production line obviously like you say, is being able to be in your own world a bit more. It can't hurt to look in to it a little again I suppose.

thx, just throwing that out there

[reb569]

I am an introvert who works in Marketing; however my role currently involves primarily working with our website. If I have no meetings, technically I could literally get through the day without talking to anyone. That said, I do communicate when I need to, but tend to avoid the chit chat. I actually plug in and listen to music most of my day so that I don't have to hear everything that is going on around me.

My thought is don't worry about making chit chat. Be friendly and courteous, but you don't have to stick around to chit chat. During break times, go for a walk instead, or read, or do something that you enjoy. When actually working, just make it apparent that you are doing your job and communicate as much as you need to, to do it well.

I will say this, managers have more appreciation for people who do their job, than those who spend a lot of time with the chit chat. It might not seem like it some time, but in most cases, unless the manager is totally inept, that really is the way it is. Just be yourself.

And by the way -- I'd enjoy working with you I think. I work with way too many people who spend more time visiting than working.

[continuosly blue]

I can ID with you. I used to be able to bs with everyday people in the past, but now I can’t stand being around people. I can’t stand driving either because of all the nuts out there today ! I hate dealing with people in shopping stores too.
You have to understand that in a lot of jobs small talk and gossip is just the norm. I think if you want a certain job , being able to get involved in so called “ small “ talk is a requirement ! Try and make a list of all the different jobs that you can do by yourself. It may be difficult but possible. Most jobs require you to deal with people and things you don’t like. At some point you may have to deal with it.
I wish you the best of luck. BTW : I understand how difficult it is for a younger person in today’s world.

[crazybeautifullife1]

Originally Posted by reb569

I am an introvert who works in Marketing; however my role currently involves primarily working with our website. If I have no meetings, technically I could literally get through the day without talking to anyone. That said, I do communicate when I need to, but tend to avoid the chit chat. I actually plug in and listen to music most of my day so that I don't have to hear everything that is going on around me.

My thought is don't worry about making chit chat. Be friendly and courteous, but you don't have to stick around to chit chat. During break times, go for a walk instead, or read, or do something that you enjoy. When actually working, just make it apparent that you are doing your job and communicate as much as you need to, to do it well.

I will say this, managers have more appreciation for people who do their job, than those who spend a lot of time with the chit chat. It might not seem like it some time, but in most cases, unless the manager is totally inept, that really is the way it is. Just be yourself.

And by the way -- I'd enjoy working with you I think. I work with way too many people who spend more time visiting than working.

Thanks for the comment

I think it was just that particular place (Recruitment agency) and team that I didn't gel deep down with. Obviously I hid that on the outside, but inside I hated going in everyday there.

You know, I work from home and am slightly introverted. Or at least I actually scored on the cusp of introvert/extrovert on the Myers Briggs. I hated office chatter when I worked in an office. Point being, is working from home an option as Shaz suggested?