[GoodVibrations101]

I realize I should go out and socialize since I am now spending more time alone during the day looking for jobs, but I do not want to face acquaintances and strangers who might ask about my job. Even if they didn't ask, I still feel really sad and depressed and withdrawn. I just don't feel like talking to new people or trying to have fun around people.

I just want to be alone to mull over being fired and being unemployed and how much work I have to do to get a new job.

Does anyone else feel anti-social and a desire to be alone to face the depression and sadness of unemployment? If I had a good, non-judgmental friend, I could handle that, but all I have are judgmental family members who would make my sad situation feel worse if I included them.

Still, none of my work colleagues have called, emailed, or written to express sadness that I've been fired. I guess no one cares about me at work. Maybe they're even happy I got fired because they saw me as competition and a rivalry rather than a collaborative colleague.

(((((((((((((sending massive hugs)))))))))))))))

I am sorry you got fired and that your co-workers are not showing sympathy and are not reaching out. Unfortunately, in many workplaces, it's every man for themselves mentality. I doubt it's personal. I think everyone just does what they need to keep their own jobs and once someone gets fired, it's like out of sight out of mind. Unfortunate, but it does happen. Try not to take it so personally, if you can.

As for the isolation, the job search process can be hard and a lonely task. I am going through it myself! I understand wanting to process your feelings alone. But isolation can tend to lend to greater depression... so perhaps reach out to someone about it so you don't isolate too much?

[GoodVibrations101]

Originally Posted by golden_eve

(((((((((((((sending massive hugs)))))))))))))))

I am sorry you got fired and that your co-workers are not showing sympathy and are not reaching out. Unfortunately, in many workplaces, it's every man for themselves mentality. I doubt it's personal. I think everyone just does what they need to keep their own jobs and once someone gets fired, it's like out of sight out of mind. Unfortunate, but it does happen. Try not to take it so personally, if you can.

As for the isolation, the job search process can be hard and a lonely task. I am going through it myself! I understand wanting to process your feelings alone. But isolation can tend to lend to greater depression... so perhaps reach out to someone about it so you don't isolate too much?

I'm sure my loneliness will outweigh my embarrassment and sadness over being unemployed soon, but right now I just want to watch television alone and mull over how to get a new job.

I honestly feel like crying, but I haven't cried in so many years that I cannot summon the tears to cry. I hate the fact that my jerk of an ex-boss is able to make me feel so bad. The terrible thing I realize is that in every job interview from now on when I get asked about this school job, I will have to give some attention to my jerk of an ex-boss, and his terrible memory will be stuck in my mind when I have to repeat this story again and again and again. It's ironic that my ex-colleagues can so easily forget me since I'm out of sight, but I won't be able to get beyond this crappy job for a few years of interviewing yet. I know in the next few years, I will get questions about why I left this job, and I'll be forced to relive the terrible tale again.

I'm sure my ex-colleagues are simply avoiding me in order to not upset the boss in the strange event he might find out. And several of them I didn't know very well or for very long, so they're off the hook. There was one co-worker who should have called, but she's honestly a coward, and probably seeing how the boss squashed me for challenging him a couple times, has made me even more scared and fearful than she was to begin with. She was such a coward, but, ironically, the coward kept her job, while the confident independent thinker got the firing axe.

It's very sad that the independent thinkers are let loose. We are the ones who create innovative ways of doing things. Trust me, I know the story. I am an independent thinker myself and have been abused and held back many times in different jobs for seemingly challenging my bosses to think another way.

Try not to hold onto grudges about your ex co-workers. In the end, it's their own weakness and limitations as human beings, and is not a reflection on you. Forgive them and try to let go of any anger or resentment you hold. Move on, and focus on what matters now -- moving forward and getting a far better job where you will be appreciated for being who you are.

Focus on the next opportunity and what you want out of it. Create your own story around why you were let go or had to leave. You don't have to keep reliving it if you don't want to. You can choose any way to handle this and any way to present it. Keeping a positive mentality is KEY. And watch all the TV you need to in order to de-stress, decompress and regroup.

[Nammu]

When you are interviewing and this job comes up don't blame the boss it doesn't look good no matter how true it might be.

[GoodVibrations101]

Originally Posted by Nammu

When you are interviewing and this job comes up don't blame the boss it doesn't look good no matter how true it might be.

I didn't say anything negative last year when I was asked why I wanted to move to a new job because I was still employed. This year, I am legally suing my ex-employer for severance, and some job applications specifically ask me if I was ever laid off. I can't lie on those forms or if I'm asked directly, and if I have to say I was fired then I am also going to say that I responded legally because I don't want to accept my employer's unfounded reasoning for my supposed faults that supposedly caused my firing. I have to present my counter-argument to oppose the jerk employer's unjustified firing of me. If he had just cut me loose with a neutral reason that didn't assign blame then I wouldn't have to justify myself, so I have to say something.

Originally Posted by GoodVibrations101

I didn't say anything negative last year when I was asked why I wanted to move to a new job because I was still employed. This year, I am legally suing my ex-employer for severance, and some job applications specifically ask me if I was ever laid off. I can't lie on those forms or if I'm asked directly, and if I have to say I was fired then I am also going to say that I responded legally because I don't want to accept my employer's unfounded reasoning for my supposed faults that supposedly caused my firing. I have to present my counter-argument to oppose the jerk employer's unjustified firing of me. If he had just cut me loose with a neutral reason that didn't assign blame then I wouldn't have to justify myself, so I have to say something.

Using terms like "jerk employer" and carrying around that angry attitude will not serve you well in finding a new job. Potential employers will be able to pick up on the resentment you feel towards your past employer, and will be much less likely to hire you. Try to keep a positive, upbeat attitude and you will go much further in life. Heck, even a calm and neutral attitude would be better than angry and resentful.

Perhaps look into how to best handle job interviews when you've been fired for unjust reasons? Or perhaps you can say you left the company on your own? You won't need to use them as a reference.

[Nammu]

The above posters are right. Being neutral and positive about the experience casts you in a much better light with potential bosses. You can say you were fired for academic differences and leave it at that trying to justify it no matter how right you might be never goes over well.

[GoodVibrations101]

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

Using terms like "jerk employer" and carrying around that angry attitude will not serve you well in finding a new job. Potential employers will be able to pick up on the resentment you feel towards your past employer, and will be much less likely to hire you. Try to keep a positive, upbeat attitude and you will go much further in life. Heck, even a calm and neutral attitude would be better than angry and resentful.

This is not a job interview, and I am not writing an academic paper. I am still pretty angry since this happened only a couple weeks ago, so I think it is normal that I'm angry, and I'm not going to deny my anger. I came to an online website to anonymously vent, which is what a lot of people do on online websites. I am showing anger since I am still processing the shock, anger, fear, frustration, disappointment, shame. Hopefully, someday I won't feel this way, but I'm not going to lie or to deny my emotions until that day, but I'm going to normally go about my life and move on. I find that at some natural point new good things will outweigh old bad events, and I will forget about this jerk employer. Until that happens, I'm not going to deny how I really feel.

[GoodVibrations101]

Originally Posted by Nammu

The above posters are right. Being neutral and positive about the experience casts you in a much better light with potential bosses. You can say you were fired for academic differences and leave it at that trying to justify it no matter how right you might be never goes over well.

Denying your real feelings from the very beginning of a job is not a good recipe for an authentically fulfilling relationship in the job. I am pursuing a job I truly enjoy and am excited about. But if at the moment I legitimately am upset about a situation I am not going to pretend to feel otherwise, especially not on an anonymous website. This isn't a job interview, and I am allowed to have a few weeks to recuperate, to be angry, and to grieve like people are allowed after their loved ones die. I don't have to immediately be cheery and upbeat and in denial about what just happened to me.

You have every right to be angry -- let it out. But this poster was just trying to say don't let your anger show in interviews, that's all. Maybe you just need time to cool down and grieve.

Originally Posted by GoodVibrations101

Denying your real feelings from the very beginning of a job is not a good recipe for an authentically fulfilling relationship in the job. I am pursuing a job I truly enjoy and am excited about. But if at the moment I legitimately am upset about a situation I am not going to pretend to feel otherwise, especially not on an anonymous website. This isn't a job interview, and I am allowed to have a few weeks to recuperate, to be angry, and to grieve like people are allowed after their loved ones die. I don't have to immediately be cheery and upbeat and in denial about what just happened to me.

You have every right to vent. You were just fired. Have you heard of this teacher website:

atozteacherstuff.com

It may be a good place to get advice from other teachers, on how to explain your termination to prospective school principals, when you are ready to apply to teaching jobs again.

Also, if you need to make money, you can always do a long-term substitute teaching job or even short-term substitute teaching. My advice would be to take on long-term substitute teaching positions, as that will show that school principal you are a capable teacher, and you will have a far better chance of being rehired as a teacher again, if you are already in a long-term substitute teaching position. That's how most of the licensed teachers I know, got their teaching jobs. It's the easiest way to get hired into a teaching position.

The benefit of being a long-call substitute teacher, is you get a chance to learn about the school culture, the students, the other teaching staff and the school district with no pressure. It's a great way for you to figure out if the school fits your needs too.

Meanwhile, process the emotions you need to. Being fired is a traumatic experience because it's not just a loss of income, but a loss of identity sometimes. Hang in there.

[seesaw]

(((Hugs))) Good Vibrations

I know how it feels to be fired, in my case "laid off" because my position was eliminated, although they just did it like that to make it easier for them to get rid of me. I have so much anger and grief for how hard I worked and all I put into that job, and it wasn't worth it. It's really hard when you can't use your last boss as a reference because they were a total jerk. I get it. You get asked about your last job in job interviews, for me they ask lots of questions about what I did at my old job, and so you're forced to revisit that terrible, toxic environment. It's like being forcibly retraumatized.

Good luck on your interviews. I'm sure you know how to handle yourself on interviews. Remember people on the forums are just trying to help too. They don't mean any harm.

Seesaw