[LiteraryLark]

I'm getting better at it, sort of. My parents have always urged me to do whatever my work tells me to do, but after how my work is treating me even they told me I need to start saying no. And it's hard. I need this job, but I really don't know how to keep telling them no, I don't know what else to do to make them understand and respect my boundaries. I've dedicated voicemails specifying where I'm willing to work, not to call me at a client's house, I've told them countless times over the phone explaining and explaining where I stand and what I'm willing to do and what I'm not willing to do, and they refuse to respect that. But I need this job because of longevity and I worked my butt off taking classes so I can get the bonus at the end of the year, but my "no" game is weak. I have a habit of saying yes just to get them to hang up on me. They call me at least six times a day when I'm not even working full time at all hours of the day and night. I have to screen my calls and silence my phone all day and all night. I don't know how to keep saying no without losing the job. Help?

[hvert]

Life-long "no" struggler here... screening your calls is a good thing.

If you say 'no,' do they call someone else? Are they calling because they don't have enough coverage? If that's the case, I would continue to say 'no' without any worries. They probably aren't going to fire you because they are already short staffed. They need to solve their problem by hiring more people, not antagonizing their existing workers.

One thing that helped me get better at *not* saying yes was to say 'Let me check' or 'I'm not sure.' Then later on I'd get back to them with 'sorry, can't do it.' It's even nicer if you can email or text your no I also try not to give reasons because people try to talk you out of them.

I highly recommend the book 'When I say no, I feel guilty.'