Steinbeck Warmup

Well, it's sent. I've pushed it towards the high end due to the messy process of getting anything agreed and done or agreed that it's finished. Retreats are easy, you start, you facilitate, you finish on time, compile and send back notes.

Writing reports—No such clarity. I've written a few journalism pieces for pittances ($50, and $200) and the rewrites the editors wrung out of me were overdone. It's as though they are not editing a writer but using my text as their first draft. No, I have my style and reasons for writing what I did, so round and round.

Interesting thread on this very topic.
R

OMG, that thread was the essence of the client I just fired. Literally ignoring me every time I tell her that what she is asking for is outside the scope, and refusing to listen. So she spent all her money on changing her mind, and got no results, and I am getting out of it so I don't have to work on a failing project now.

Not much creative right now, just admin steps following a successful Open Space event on Monday.

Ran about 92% as I rehearsed it. Learned a couple of things, as always, and see a tweak in some support handouts I use.

Today, have the 'book' of notes to finish compiling. This means learning how to use the nearby university's copy system. Bot a $5 card yesterday, have my thumb drive, and so ready.

Also today, adding maybe 16 walkins and deleting the few people who didn't show. A lower # than I'd expected.

Later, a massage, and then shopping(!) perhaps for spinner luggage. Travelpro Platinum Magna on deep discount would be ideal: https://thewirecutter.com/reviews/be...ry-on-luggage/

Then, if really feel up to it, attending a city commission meeting on transportation (I'm trying to get bus stops and routes adjusted in my area). I'll leave that decision to the last moment.

Oh, I solved the problem of not having to remember to uncheck include signature every time. I made the signature blank.

Revu2

Well, the rebel cause within my client has aligned with a counter-leader to begin a New Track in this project I'm working on.

I now face the challenge to managing the directing of the limited focus of 12 people on a dispersed team while this side business will begin to divide their attention.

Faced with this, but there really isn't a leak:
“If you don't make a total commitment to whatever you're doing then you start looking to bail out the first time the boat starts leaking. It's tough enough getting that boat to shore with everybody rowing, let alone when a guy stands up and starts putting his life jacket on.”
― Lou Holtz Jr.

Some of the crew can't see land as they imagine (or don't imagine) it and want something different.

1. I'll Standby (among other options like Stand Up, Stand Out, Stand Down, or Stand Aside).
2. I'll let them roll as they will. I'll face the predictable confusions and questions about the team's work overload by recasting the facts.
3. I'll do my part, and just my part. My time and hands are full enough with my original commitment. Which is going well, naturally.
4. I recognize the project lead doesn't perceive how he undermines his commitment to my approach he made when he hired me.
5. I sleep soundly.

Revu2

We have a Zoom call today, and for the most part I'll be in mute/listen mode.

Did come across a "Dealing with Feelings: Perspectives on Emotional Labor of School Leadership."

I'll read a bit at a time, my daily guide.

Robert Frost reputedly said, "The great value of education is to teach you that whatever you are interested in there's a book about it." See this Quote Investigator piece about Frost and what he might have said https://quoteinvestigator.com/2016/07/07/self-education/

Here's my next book: The Paranoid Corporation and 8 Other Ways Your Company Can Be Crazy: -- Advice from an Organizational Shrink

The interest: when thinking about my latest client I return repeatedly to this place is acting like a depressed person. This led to thinking about the depressed organizaiotn which led to this book.

It came out in 1993 and my local academic library owns a copy to borrow. Used on abebooks it's under $6. If I like it I might get one for myself and a one for the client.

R

Up very early (awake at 4:30, out of bed around 5:45) to facilitate a challenging first workshop with a new client. The client atmosphere feels depressed, so I'm deliberately dialing down my customary buoyant self.

Remembering to breathe and getting a solid breakfast in me. These events take lots of energy. Right now feeling calm yet a bit of stage awareness, let's say.

Before I go hope to get started on a google forms for putting in the evaluations. Trying this because it can compile stats for the group with built-in stat routines.

Speaking of routines, got Algorithms to Live By from the library yesterday. Maybe it will be as life changing as Metaphors to Live By was a few decades ago!

R

I'm reading Algorithms to Live By by Brian Christian and Tom Griffiths. Got it from my nearest university library: BF 39 *C4885 2016. I thought it would be nearly as life changing as Metaphors to Live By. Not really. I once made card stacks I call Megoarithms™. My stacks were more generally useful.

The interesting thing about this book is it's mainly the discussion among math folks that have daily implications. There are no true algorithms as I understand the term: a series of discrete steps to do which lead to an expected result. A recipe is an algorithm for assembling ingredients, preparing them in a particular order and combination, processing them (with blades, heat, cold, or time) and voila! your dish is served.

On page 45 I found this affirming quote about optimism. I stopped calling myself that in public as most people, even ones with delightful lives, make a public todo about "what's there to be optimist about ... " mostly keyed to corrupt political processes and reports of coming disasters covered in the daily press of news.

45/ Upper Confidence Bound algorithms implement a principle that has been dubbed "optimism in the face of uncertainty." Optimism, they show, can be perfectly rational. By focusing on the best that an option could be, given the evidence obtained so far, these algorithms give a boost to possibilities we know less about. As a consequence, they naturally inject a dose of exploration int the decision-making process, leaping at new options with enthusiasm because any one of them could be the next big thing. …

The success of Upper Confidence Bound algorithms offers a formal justification for the benefit of the doubt. Following the advice of these algorithms, you should be excited to meet new people and try new things—to assume the best about them, in the absence of evidence to the contrary. In the long run, optimism is the best prevention for regret.
------
What's interesting to me about this is (1) all optimism, and pessimism, for that matter, deals with the face of uncertainty. Pessimists really don't like feeling let down, that they failed, or that events disappointed them. The hold the expectations low. Optimists tend to the polar expectations because they don't mind risking the sadder feelings.
Here's the rub: pessimists and optimists then behave in ways that partially self-fulfill their stance. Pessimists, in my experience, semi-wait for things to happen to them and test against their expectations; optimists semi-make things happen to test against their experience. The mix might vary per persons, but say even a 20 point swing for a couple, person P is 60-40 wait-to-make ratio while person W is 40-60 wait-to-make ratio, how will this play out in their living or working together?

Pessimist and "realists" or pessimists in disguise trying to pretend to straddle the two, use evidence in different ways than optimists. Here's Dietrich Bonhoeffer on the topic:


Thank you Rev. Bonhoeffer.
R

Note: The "present events" were the Nazi takeover of Germany in the 1930s.

Making a pitch for a fresh project soon, and today I start the composing. It’s been mostly sketches and idle daydreaming for the past few days. Sort like flipping mental images of sequence and partnership of ideas.

At one point I said to myself, “This part I really like.” The pouring out of pure ideas. Everything feels open and free in my thinking.

There’s also a love of fitting something with many parts into the box of time offered. What to highlight, what to let be an undertone, what to let go. Ah, yes, even with open possibilities not every idea makes the cut, this time.

Another interesting thing I’ve started adding images or small icons to my descriptions. The first time I tried this (for a government department, so might have guessed) as I rewrote it through 5 versions the images I gradually let the images go. From originally having about 4 I think the final version had just one.

Still didn’t get the gig because of basic incompatibility between what I offered and the demands of the possible client. We imagined different work products and processes as we envisioned the Scope. Ah well. I got to practice a new format.

Last time I used Powerpoint for the proposal, converting it to a pdf to send. It allows enough flexibility for adding images and picture. This time I’m starting with LibreOffice. Since the first attempt at this I have stumbled upon the Noun Project which has thousands of Creative Commons icons for download and use.

My fingers feel warmed enough.

To the page,

Revu2

I'm focusing my best efforts on the first 3 hours I'm up. This, for me, is my personal ideal period. One that that makes it work for me is I'm hardy or resilient against doubts or the many small emotional adjustments required to move creative work forward.

I used my partner's recent solo trip away as my own vacation. Put many things on pause and did random local fun things, like spending a long afternoon at the Korean spa.

The main project I'm on is needing some love and care. Feeling a need to hold my focus against the period of scatteredness now upon it.

What I have to do next likely is needed but probably is going to be thankless.

So be it.

To the page,
Revu2

Nearly falling asleep, but spending 5 minutes playing with an idea Daniel Pink puts forward in When: summarize the days best moments and look forward to the next.

Work advanced with 2 clients and proposal sent pitching work with a 3rd.

I pulled and cut branches off a fallen tree to get it out of the driveway.

Called the City yet again to see about a missed garbage pick up.

Tomorrow: picking up the pace again on some research data that needs to be entered and answer some email work I've put aside.

For now: to the pillow,
R

I'm going a little insane because I'm pushing hard to get one client through a crunch time and get an internal process started for her that will cut down the hours I'm working for her. I'm basically pulling 40 hours a week for her right now. Not including other clients. Another client is in total.scope drift and I have started saying no to them, and it's upsetting them. Oh well. They are mostly upset because they waited too long to try and set a meeting and I am unavailable. They are very disorganized and they want to try and throw that on me, but it's not. I've been clear, and I think they know this is an issue that they need to clean up, not me. They want a monthly meeting but they don't try to set it up until like the week before. Well sorry, um literally booked up generally two weeks ahead of time, but additionally, I am going on vacation. I am not at their beck and call, and they are learning that. (That said, I have bent over backwards for them. This is the first time I've said that meeting during the time frame they want is not workable. In 8 months of an ongoing contract)

On top.of all.of that, landed a new client. ..and it really is time to hire that assistant I need. So that's my summer project for my business. Hire an assistant and continue to land some new clients.

Seesaw

Hi Seesaw,
Eight months carrying the work without having to explicitly set limits is good self-management. It's also frustration management. And congrats on landing new work! Just know you'll find a perfect assistant.

Cooldown notes: hauled some perfectly sized pieces of cut laurel the city cleared from a right-of-way maybe two months ago. Firewood. I think this adds to my pile and is enough for several winters. Which is great as it gives the wood time to dry out.

Playing with gluing rubber soles on to my leather slippers. So far, they're working great.
Tomorrow I'm planning on dropping by the gardens of a few people who are listed on a garden tour map. Could be very much fun.

Enough for today, work wisely.
R

Ah, the work I have to do sometimes is both exciting and tediously detailed. I like the content, but the time on task to do it drains my mental acuity because details slip from me and I know so I double down to keep them in check.

Yesterday's dinger: a simple email. Comcast came by and did something they needed to do and in the process disconnected our entry system. They need to come back and fix this.

I recall that the first swipe at this needed a few tweaks and corrections, but as I corrected I added more mistakes. An "and" got cut, I left "the" before a date.

Just those two, but yuck! I've overdone my work dimming my inner editor. They're off having lunch and I'm struggling here.

Inner Editor: please join me during the final two read-throughs before I send ANY text to ANY one. It hurts to remembers the rules after the message is sent.

IE: Oh, so now you need me. I see.

Me: You'll get to hang out with some wonderful spirits. Max Perkins, editor for F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby plus Susan Bell, editor and author of The Artful Edit. To name a couple.

IE: (whispers: Put the titles in italics). It's not like it's a dissertation. It's an email. Beneath my notice. Draft it, once over, and on to the next.

Me: Ah, so there's the rub.

IE: Yes, you seem so pinched for time. Your shoulders hunched and tight. Like it's a race. Don't want to slow you down.

Me: Let's read fast, write slow. A nice rhythm.

IE: OK, let's give it a try.

Me: Deal.

R

Who-hoo! I finished a book on client-creative relationships!!

Reading, that is, not writing. It's by Bonnie Siegler, ...

[front]
Dear Client, This book will teach you how to get what you want from creative people. Sincerely, Bonnie Siegler.
[back]
PS—Including how to hire the right team, give clear direction, provide feedback that works, pick your battles, and be open to new ideas. Plus you'll have more fun, save time and money, and get the results you want, an keep your hair from turning gray.
------That's what's on the cover.

Siegler is a Designer so the book is very heavily designed. No page numbers, only chapter numbers. Chapters very short. Key points in bold. Clean san serif font.
Published this year and she's the keynote speaker at the Seattle Design in Public festival the local branch of architects sends up each year for two weeks. Look it up if interested.

Chapter Titles (all preceded by No.)

1. The Thing About Creatives
2. Be Honest
3. Know Thyself
4. Make Me Iconic
5. Have Clarity of Purpose
6. Who is your audience
7. Care about Every Audience
8. Decide Who Will Decide
9. Do not send out a RFP
10. A brief case for writing a brief
11. Tell me the problem, not the solution
12. Get buy-in
13. Experience isn’t everything
14. Those awkward first calls
15. The importance of meeting in person
16. Get a proposal
17. Call references for God’s sake
18. Introduce everyone at the meeting
19. Don’t schedule meeting one after another that we’re bound to run into each other in the lobby
20. Be up front about money
21. The value of creative work
22. Flat fees, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose
23. Expect the Unexpected
24. Good, fast, cheap
25. Always sign on a dotted line
26. Tell the people who didn’t get the job
27. Best practices work best when they are flexible
29. What if you have a good idea?
30. Show-And-Tell
31. Cut out the Middleman
32. White space is your friend
33. Let the Creative Drive the First Presentation
34. Be a Fair Judge
35. Question Everything
36. Be open to things you didn’t imagine
37. Don’t say that, say this
38. Beware of garanimals
39. An important note about giving feedback
40. I notice/ I wonder
41. It’s okay to love something right away
42. What to do when you kind of hate what you see
43. So you think you can make it better?
44. What if you don’t know what you think?
45. Give all feedback at once
46. We don’t care what your spouse thinks
47. Of fear and insecurity
48. Why focus groups suck
49. Don’t let data drive your decisions
50. Be confident, not arrogant
51. Pick your battles
52. The power of encouragement
53. Accept that everything is emotional
54. Talk it out
55. Please don’t piss on the creative
56. Nothing takes a second
57. Don’t ask to sit with use while we make changes
58. Don’t fall off the face of the earth
59. If it just not working
60. When creatives are assholes
61. Don’t be rude to my staff (or yours)
62. Serve lunch during lunch meetings
63. About pro bono work
64. Give credit where it’s due
65. Don’t use these words
66. Use these words

Listing these titles is as far as I've gotten re: taking notes. If interested (Seasaw?) please pm me and I'll send the google doc link for collaborative efforts to pull a shorter list of agreements out of this work.

Bonnie says she could find no other book on the topic. My experience as well, considering the history of art with patrons and artists runs back centuries.

Anyway, Thanks Bonnie.

Revu2

After Meaghan Daum experienced a miscarried pregnancy, she made up her mind to not try again and thus to never have children. She calls the ambivalence about that decision her marriage's Central Sadness. Their CS hovers over, or weighs down, all else in their communications.

Yesterday my Significant Other and I had a miscommunication. The details repeat a steady pattern I've experienced throughout our time together. The short of it is that when I talk to her, at random times she literally misses the meaning of the words. I then proceed with her answer and later, the mis communication becomes evident, typically with unhappy results.

OK, we're not perfect, but she gets angry at ME, and not at least partially herself for failing to take a moment and listen. And I get angry in turn because I don't want her to shuck 100% of a mutual miscommunication onto me. Not fair or right.

This is a pattern I've noticed since Day Two. This flair-up happened late last night before I went to bed, and to soothe my jangled emotions I used Daum's Central Sadness idea.

And it fit so perfectly, I thought, how useful. With accepting a part of a relationship as being in the grips of a CS I both feel deep grief, and also energetic clarity. From this experience I've developed a maxim: SO to me: please don't offer to do me any favors. Or another way: Let me mind my own business.

Very sad, no?, for a committed relationship which I would hope delights in mutual support and reciprocity, but there it is. I get it now.

I'm freed by my maxim for better use of my life in other relationships. I'm freed to search out those spontaneous moments where we really do connect and not bother with concerns about the rest, which is about 90% of my time with her.

Possible every relationship has its CS. One client through actions and non-actions communicates his CS as a buyer's remorse that he hired me. We're philosophically and procedurally misfits. His CS becomes also my CS.

I will keep exploring this as an element in my larger project of transitioning from Frustration to Patience.

Revu2

Today on the cusp of finishing the last of a run of work. Looking forward to a few weeks of looseness. I can't speak a word to anyone I know.

Why? Some perverse reflect sends them into spinning ideas or getting excited that I might want to join them and "do something." No, no! Doing less is what I seek.

While doing less I'll unravel my latest clue to growing Patience. My dreams are dredging up scenes of my embarrassments. Things I did, didn't do, or did poorly. The celebration I didn't invite someone to because they had pissed me off at work. My gym shorts mishap that expose more than my skinny legs and I saw a girl across the gym witness the mishap. The many women who may have been interested in more than idle chitchat who I failed to connect with. Why did I fumble, stutter, and lapsed into silence? Couldn't I trust my ears/eyes/luck? Apparently not.

I have read enough memoir and biography to appreciate the vast club this makes me a member of. Still ... it befuddles me and I sustain traces of regret.

Revu2

Lost my $30 Apple earbuds. I have a guess where they might be: a friend's house where I help with editorial work. Or in a pocket of a pair of pants or shirt I wore briefly one day and then change out of. Or in a pouch or backpack. Know fer sure they are not in their "everything in its place" place.
Really would love to wait it out and see. Go through a year's worth of clothes, and pop, they drop out of a pocket one day. Or my friend is back from her working trip to another state. But I will need them next week for a conference call.
This got my annoyance spinning. It's much milder this time than in the past, mostly from my growing skill at talking calmly to my anxious states.
My whole life annoys me.
I'm annoyed that I'm much more "responsible" than 99% of the people I get to deal with.
I'm annoyed with my Life Partner's practice of beginning every conversation with something off—did I hear who died—can I help with a computer glitch—the food isn't 100% top restaurant perfect.
I'm annoyed with my clients and their foot dragging, poor communication, and doublecrossing.
I'm annoyed with bills to pay.
I'm annoyed that the system has required fresh debt.
I'm annoyed it's impossible to ever get enough of what I do really need.
I'm annoyed that so many systems in my life need top-tier attention.
I'm annoyed that I need to make lists, and lists of lists, and then keep track of them.
I'm annoyed I can't seem to knit together two days free of any annoyances.
Shimmer! OK. OK. Breathe.
Now, what's on the agenda today?
Revu2

Today, many years of crazy living come down to a decision & actions that’s out of my hands.

Since 2011 I & my partner have been the steady people getting our condo up to speed to replace its siding. I’ve commented before on this site about this saga and will spare myself the agony of rehashing the details.

The latest owner and also newest member of the Board has over-insisted on getting lots of things “nailed down” and in “iron-clad” language through the means of a contract. The siding vendor rebelled before signing and now the whole d*mn thing is on the brink of falling apart.

The board meets tonight, and my gut has been in full churn mode for the past week or so as I consider how very close this is to failing. We have no Plan B, no replacement company.

From this churn I have lots of feelings and thoughts of how to make yet another case to yet another board to keep this moving. I also resolve to do all I can to break the hex or spell that’s keeps our relations in continual turmoil.

I wish it were otherwise, I wish I had even a vote on the Board (I don’t. I attend as an owner). I wish for a lot of things that didn’t happen. I wish other people had caught my hints. I don’t want people to feel hurt (I’ll say that) but sometimes I’ll have to be more direct to save the work if the situation calls for it.

It would be wise for all of us to listen concretely and intuitively so that we spare ourselves direct standoffs. Sometimes Wisdom is in short supply.

Send support for me.

Revu2

Sending you good vibes, hoping the condo board meeting goes well.

Thanks, not really. This a-hole has no ability to be less than the dominant person, never admits errors, lacks emotional imagination, and claims to represent the rest of the owners when he in fact voted against their preferences. He also can't put on his own brakes.


Life moves on, I'm ready for him now. It'll be very hard, but so be it.


R

Wed, too much to do to worry more about this a-hole I'm dealing with.

Also have a support group this pm and that will help.

When it's over I'll write it up as a coaching message for others.

Today, a team that's putting in a proposal is getting down to text. I'll print current in double space and single sided and different colors. That should keep me engaged till I leave at 10.

To the page,
R

Hi,

It's with a very sad soul that I share that the deal has unraveled for replacing our siding due to irreconcilable differences among the board and with myself. We failed to align and find a way to work well together.

The latest offer from the contractor stresses the two areas that are our thinnest places: the contract and price. It's over our allotted funds.

My partners, who serves as the Board president, is disgusted. She wants to shut it down, pay our consultant what is their due, and return the money deposited by the owners to get this done. And step away from command.

A couple of proverbs: Turkish: When you find yourself on the wrong road, stop.
Songhay (African): If you road is blocked, go home.

About 7 years of work, countless meetings, visits to showrooms, escorting vendors around the building, persuading boards to accept necessary precautions, getting agreements on the materials, colors, style, railings, pricing, extra assessments, etc, etc. etc.

My goto friend is when this happens. I cried.

Going down with the ship.

Revu

Oh boy. A voluntary effort to support our condo assn with research and leadership on getting our siding replaced (along with, it now has developed, the windows and new railings) has come to a sad end. Our contractor has proposed a revised budget after our pleading that's still too much.

With the delay (labor and materials inflation hit) and internal dissension (delay due to disagreement hit) and extra costs for this and that, we've gone past our set-aside reserve. Having not even begun, the budget $40,000 than our best earlier budget (the one we based all our planning on) with the dissension on the board likely to never end ... we're calling it.

This is very sad for me. It's been 2929 days, more or less, since I volunteered to lead a committee to deal with this. Eight full years come March 2019 when we have our next owners' meeting.

I'm done. My partner, who is now the prez of the board, is done.

And still no siding. It's just a share of my challenge, it's the group's challenge as a collective. What happens now is up to the group.

I wish them luck and good speed.

On the other side, I get my time released into my custody.

revu2

I'm annoyed it's impossible to ever get enough of what I do really need.
I'm annoyed that so many systems in my life need top-tier attention.
I'm annoyed that I need to make lists, and lists of lists, and then keep track of them.
I'm annoyed I can't seem to knit together two days free of any annoyances.
Shimmer! OK. OK. Breathe.
Now, what's on the agenda today?

hi revu2
I noticed your thread this morning. While I'm not at all a management consultant, I've worked enough in the business world to - sigh/ breathe - know the tough dynamics and/ or the excitement. Now retired and going to seed... with a building project that also is staggering around.

I read the sections of your post bolded above, and it was like a poem about my state in the past few days. It made me smile ruefully because I'm annoyed that all the hassles distract me from - getting in touch with what I need. Life is so friggin (bet that gets screened out) dysfunctional when also not superbly smooth internally.

I get distracted, I fight getting distracted and stressed and annoyed.... but still Life heaps it on and eventually I find that I am all of those three. Ugh.

The lists of lists are also... driving me nuts... not so much the actual multi-directional arrows pointing all over the place to do lists, but the extra things that crop up from my subconscious when I'm half asleep. They are practical lists because what I need doesn't seem to figure on anyone's lists including my own.
Am I making any sense?