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#1
Jan 12, 2018, 07:03 AM
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Just read a message from the manager to the department, that I kind of interpret as "if you don't maintain the level of focus and precision comparable to an actual computer you might not be getting further projects (and hence not getting paid)". I, of course, hate that, but it's kind of old news. The slightly newer news is that it sounds more and more like the death rattles, or rather a slow unwinding of a company.
Well, I've had the usual urge just to go and quit, but... I'm not going to get another job. After 4.5 years I've developed essentially a perfect diet and other routines suited to this job, or rather to working from home specifically. I've got no intention of just crashing and wiping all that out. Not after I've just gotten out of a depression. And then, if I quit, the life at home is going to turn into hell... Well, I'm not 100% sure, but I think my mom is going to have certain issues with that. So I guess there's nothing better to do than to keep on going. And hope that even if I'm not getting paid I don't get immediately fired and can sort of fake it. On the other hand, I'm not going to beg them not to fire me... I'm just not into that sort of thing. So... Oh, yeah, and here's hoping that the company doesn't unwind too soon. Anyway, just wanted to talk that through, kind of with myself.
__________________
Social anxiety and possible Aspergers (undiagnosed, but it helps to let you know to more quickly find a common ground). Life is a journey without a destination. |
 Agent Misty, hvert, Teddy Bear
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#2
Jan 12, 2018, 08:01 AM
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Well I certainly hope you don't lose your job! Was the email personal? You said you interpreted it. so was it more of a generalized message about your efficiency levels or a specific account of issues in your performance, when they occured, etc?
I ask because different companies have their own ways of "motivating" their employees per se, and they could be sending similar messages to many employees as general warnings or "motivators" from their perspective anyway. Hopefully they are just bluffing and you will continue to get projects. |
 ArcheM
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#3
Jan 12, 2018, 08:21 AM
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Yeah, it's to the department - whole 27 people, as I've just checked (most of them part-time from home, I imagine)... But the issues are real. Or, well, they are made to be real, so to say. I don't know how 100% accuracy sounds to you... On my end, I'm sitting here looking at a project that appears to have been made by drunken monkeys. And I'm supposed to transform it, while not taking any liberties with the original work...
Totally ranting now. I don't know. I suppose it's a relatively healthy size for a department. Except that it seems like the infrastructure around it has been gradually shrinking and we've been getting fewer and fewer orders.
__________________
Social anxiety and possible Aspergers (undiagnosed, but it helps to let you know to more quickly find a common ground). Life is a journey without a destination. |
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#4
Jan 12, 2018, 08:39 AM
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Quote:
__________________
 What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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#5
Jan 27, 2018, 01:18 PM
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Well, another message that our pay is getting cut by a third... And who even knows how many at the department are going to stick around for much longer... Although I'm gonna guess we're all about the same kind of desperate and worthless...
I don't know why I'm fixating on that, but I wonder if going on an all-beans diet might be useful at this point... So afraid... Don't know what I'm going to do... I just think I'm unfit... Haven't been able to make friends or form a relationship... Barely able to deal with people in general... Just some ridiculous interests... And bizarre... or rather... well, rubbish jobs... I hate being myself... useless
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Social anxiety and possible Aspergers (undiagnosed, but it helps to let you know to more quickly find a common ground). Life is a journey without a destination. Last edited by ArcheM; Jan 27, 2018 at 01:47 PM. |
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#6
Feb 02, 2018, 07:34 AM
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Sorry to hear what's happening. What kinda work does your company do?
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#7
Feb 02, 2018, 07:51 AM
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It's kind of a thing... We're part of a company that does completely legitimate software development, but we don't. In fact I don't think the company is involved in any way with the program that we use. And in turn that program is for a completely obscure project contracted by an outside company according to its own arbitrary guidelines... Actually, I'll just say it - the field is chemical patents. And I know that you'll immediately get the wrong, much more profitable idea.
__________________
Social anxiety and possible Aspergers (undiagnosed, but it helps to let you know to more quickly find a common ground). Life is a journey without a destination. |
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