[lovejones24]

I decided to take a year off of school for mental health reasons. But I’m starting to think maybe that was a mistake because I’m mentally unstable my family doesn’t make it any better because they’re ignorant when it comes to mental health. And no one is supporting me and I’m trying to be independent and support myself but it’s hard. I want a job that pays 15 an hr at least with 40 hrs a week. Maybe I’m reaching too high but that’s what i want. I am Christian and I have been praying but it seems like God isn’t even hearing my prayers and I’m tempted to give up. I’m a failure I used to have big dreams and goals but it’s like ppl will hurt you and destroy your dreams. I’m only 23 but I feel like my life is over and I’d be better off dead. I’m highly suicidal and I don’t want to live anymore.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Makayla: I see you now have 5 posts to your credit here on PC. But hopefully it's still not too late for me to say welcome to Psych Central! I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. Hopefully coming here to PC is of some comfort & support to you.

You mentioned you took a year off from college. But you're thinking this may have been a mistake since your family is not supportive. I do think that being at home all the time can be difficult under the best of circumstances. And then, if your family is not supportive, that just makes it all that much more challenging.

Getting a job may be a good option. I don't know what the minimum wage is where you live. However holding out for a 40 hour a week job that pays $15.00 per hour may be a stretch if you have no significant work experience. From my perspective, I think it's fine to start out with that as a goal. But if something doesn't materialize within a reasonable period of time, you may want to consider lowering you expectations. The longer you are at home, the more difficult it may become to get back out there.

Both in this post, as well as in your introductory post, you mentioned feeling as though you'd be better off dead & being highly suicidal. I don't know if you see a therapist or are on any kind of psych med's. But given how you're feeling you really do need to reach out, in real life, for help. And since your family is not supportive, I think it's probably necessary to seek the support of mental health professionals. I've been where you are more than once. So I believe I have some idea of what you're feeling. The only difference is I'm an old person. At 23 you're much too young to give up hope yet.

Here are links to 5 articles, from PC's archives, that talk about suicidal thoughts & how to handle them. The first 2 are by DocJohn. The last link is to PC's suicide screening quiz:

Suicidal? Don't Throw Away Your Shot

Suicidal? What Van Gogh's Life Can Teach You

When Suicide Summons

How to Survive Suicidal Thoughts

Suicide Screening Quiz

Please take care...

[healingme4me]

What steps are you taking to secure employment? Maybe look at jobs that start below but have opportunity for wage growth over time? $15 sounds nice, but eventually it doesn't push into the comfort of sustaining for a rainy day. Or look at a variety of part time rates. Look for a bigger one and add to it a lower one. What about cna work?

[lovejones24]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

What steps are you taking to secure employment? Maybe look at jobs that start below but have opportunity for wage growth over time? $15 sounds nice, but eventually it doesn't push into the comfort of sustaining for a rainy day. Or look at a variety of part time rates. Look for a bigger one and add to it a lower one. What about cna work?

Thank you for this