drive, desire, success, failure

I'd like to start my own business as a freelance writer. But, I can't seem to get past the proscrastination stage. Feel like I have no internal drive, the things that makes people want to succeed. Im told I have a fear of success, four degrees and working part-time at Walmart, in my 50's, wishing I had more, but something continually holds me back.
Not really sure if I can get my own magazine writing business going, though Ive done some in the past. HOw do you build up the internal drive to do things, when you seem to lack it naturally? And all the mental voices that point out your faults and failures?

Well... if I knew the answer to your question, I would have been much more successful than I ever was. However here are links to 10 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that talk about how to overcome the fatigue of depression, find motivation & create your best life:

5 Tips for Dealing with the Overwhelming Fatigue of Depression

5 More Tips for Dealing with the Overwhelming Fatigue of Depression

3 Ways to Use Your Motivation to Find or Create Your Dream Job

Tips for Finding Motivation When You're Depressed

12-Steps to Creating Motivation When Depressed – Relationships in Balance

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relat...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-ways...ve-roadblocks/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/chang...tay-motivated/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/breaki...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-step...dium=popular17

According to my opinion,see a counselor.

I’d say having to eat is a great motivator. If I only worked part tine in Walmart, I’d not afford a car, health insurance, rent etc Somebody must be supporting you
Otherwise how do you manage? Are you on disability?

I think I have intrinsic motivation to do things but only up to the point, sometimes I don’t. When I don’t, then again having to make a living and pay bills gets me out of bed.

Do you see a therapist?

I once heard a good piece of advice about entrepreneurial desires. If you cannot get the funding to get it off the ground immediately, don't quit your day job. It's really important to have specific visions and written detailed plans, at the same time that it's really important to have an immediate income stream even if laborious in the moment. Adding: Not to say that you need not make this like a secondary income stream in addition to other incomes.

If you don't mind my asking, didn't your schools help network you into employment? Or what happened with your last full time employment?

My concern reading your op is that writing is certainly a passionate endeavor yet it often feels like there is a market saturation.