New boss is a total *****

I know it’s hard not to pay attention to it. We are dealing with couple of obnoxious people at work. They aren’t in a supervising role, one actually is my mentee. They are unprofessional and pretty bad at their job and they cause many problems but they are so manipulative and sneaky and obnoxious that it’s impossible to deal with them. I am trying not let it bother me. But it does.

Going by my previous experiences unless I ignore it, it’s going to consume my thoughts and cause me too much stress. Sometimes I am successful in ignoring them and sometimes I am not. But I know I have to or I’ll be consumed with stress

I totally get where you're coming from.

When I get upset, I do have a tendency to allow it to consume me fully until it is resolved (until the problem is resolved).

Very sorry you're going through that at work. Manipulative and sneaky people, on top of unprofessionalism and lack of ability to do the job well? UGH! That sounds like grounds for getting fired - seriously.

I always hope that the truth rises to the surface in these situations and that the higher ups see the reality of what's happening and take action.

One would hope at least.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope It's hard because I am very emotional and sensitive, so it's hard for me to ignore someone above me who is lashing out at me. It's a small enough company where they will catch on, and really quickly. I mean, they already see her chastising us by email.

Some thing I thought of and not to sound paranoid but maybe keep your own log or dock or email file of every incident or discussion you had with her

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Thanks for the suggestion! Funny thing is, she's fine on the phone. Everything is already documented in writing, so I am covered there.

They always play “I am sick” card when they are being called to the carpet. One used to file grievances and threatened to sue many times over the years. So they don’t bother with her. Now the other one starting to play same game.

Truth is out and everyone knows but our administration doesn’t like to rock the boat until it gets very bad and now with covid they are too busy dealing with constant issues related to that. And there is such an extreme shortage right now that they won’t get fired.

There are idiots everywhere. Can’t escape them

WOW - that’s seriously appalling. Sick, really. It never ceases to amaze me how badly people can behave. Even more so, that they can get away with it at work.

So, because my new boss manages by instilling fear of making a mistake, there are two mistakes I’ve made that I’m scared about and have worried I will get in trouble for. One of the mistakes is an oversight and I’m not even sure if it’s my responsibility. The other is something I did accidentally. Both will get fixed but I have been anxious all weekend about getting into more trouble!

I have a new interview tomorrow. The company is rated very high in terms of employee satisfaction. It would be amazing if I could get a job offer right now so I can escape from this nightmare.

I’m practically having an anxiety attack right now.

Please try to remember we are all human and none of us are perfect. In neither mistake do I hear bad intent - just a mistake.

It would be great if we could be perfect and never make an error but we aren't built that way. Try to give yourself some grace here.

Thanks so much for saying this. Soooo true. She has made me afraid of making a mistake or else I will be called out on it and the VP will be cc'd.

I'm dreading this week and this work day. I don't know what bomb is going to be dropped on me again by her or when. I don't know when I will get in trouble again. The fear of getting into trouble is eating at me. This is NOT healthy for me.

I pray that my interview today leads somewhere. Please oh please let it lead to a job offer.

Yesterday I was SO anxious, I had to take two Lorazapam to calm down. I'm going to be taking this every day until I can leave. My anxiety is through the roof.

Do they expect employees to not mistakes? That’s crazy. Just be up front about it and tell whoever needs to know that you made a mistake. As long as you try to fix it you should be fine.

I don't know what SHE expects, my new boss. I have no idea. But apparently, she loves to point out mistakes and make them known.

So, a few weeks ago, right after reporting period, I told my boss that I had been assigned too many reports to write and asked her if the reports could be more evenly distributed amongst the team members the next month.

What happens? She assigns me 15 reports again, 3 extra than I normally would be writing because we're down 1 person on our team, but then I find out that my 2 colleagues have 7 and 0 reports to write. I told her this is really unreasonable, so she said she would take only 1 report off my plate, leaving me with 14.

So, I snapped and lost it and went directly to my CEO (we have no HR anymore and this is a very small company of only like 20 people). I am supposed to speak with my CEO today about this, and I am going to ask him why I am given double the amount of reports to write as my colleague. He told me yesterday that the colleague who was given 0 to write has dyslexia, and that he has trouble writing reports. So then what good is he on our team? He isn't even carrying any clients yet. Even if HE cannot write reports right now, WHY am I given 14 and my other colleague, only 7? We're both senior members on the team and are equals.

I am beyond peeved that I am being SO overworked like this to the point of snapping. I even told my CEO that I am tempted to leave and walk out the door. He ignored that comment when we spoke briefly on the phone yesterday. I also told him I am beside myself over this. My last words to my boss were, this is really unreasonable.

I have a third interview today with a company.

I talked to my CEO, who was of NO help. He said, why are you worried about how many reports your colleagues are writing vs how many you're writing?

Um.... because it's not FAIR business practice???????????? Because I am being overloaded and overworked, and they are not????????????

I got the sense of BS from him - like big time. He has been talking to me about leadership opportunities on the team for a while now. Then my boss approached my VERY NEW to the company colleague about acting as a leader on the team.... NOT ME, but HIM.

So I told my CEO this yesterday, after he tells me again that he has made it known that he wants me to be viewed as a leader. And his reply? You have no confidence in me, others or yourself.

WTF?!??!?!!? My boss has approached another team member about leadership, not me, so there's a serious DISCONNECT going on between what my CEO says and what my boss is actually DOING.

I am really feeling like I don't belong in this company, and especially after speaking with my CEO. I disagreed with him and told him I DO have confidence in HIM, in OTHERS, AND in MYSELF. That was not a fair statement to make.

I hate my job SO very much. I hate my BOSS even more. And I think my CEO is manipulative. He just didn't want to deal with the unfair business practice going on, and so he said I shouldn't be worrying about it.

Yeah, it's MY mental health and sanity that is at stake - NOT YOURS.

I think he talks about seeing you as a leader in general terms. I heard bosses saying it to people before. It doesn’t mean you’ll be promoted. It’s just a general comment. If he told you “tomorrow we are going to interview you for a leadership position at 2pm on a second floor”. That’s specific. “I see you as a leader” is not.

I honestly doubt he’d ever promote you because of what happened previously-him being inappropriate with you. Things were improper, then you came back to work in the company and then within less than a year he promotes you. Not happening. If it’s the same CEO.

Plus if there are only 20 people in the company there isn’t much room for growth. They only need that many bosses. If you want a promotion, this isn’t the company for you. I hope something else comes up soon. At this point I’d take a pay cut just to get out of there. It sounds like a very negative experience overall

How bizarre he disclosed to you that a coworker has dyslexia. How inappropriate. Did the coworker give him permission to talk about their disability to other colleagues? Wow.

He is so unprofessional.

I know - he's not professional. I wish I could take a pay cut, but I cannot afford that. I must be able to afford my rent, which is hard to afford by myself. I can't and won't move... I have no funds to move. I am stuck. I don't think he intends on giving me a promotion either.

Now my new boss is sending each report back to me to revise. I have 13 total to write! In just 8 days! I finally told her (in writing) that if I keep having to revise my reports, I will never be able to meet my deadlines. I didn't care how it came across - I was so bitter about the extra work, when I am already writing 4 more reports than I should be.

I am bitter and angry that I have found myself to be in this position - overloaded with an a-hole of a boss. And now I have to do even more work, revising each report after I've already written it.... I am so done with this job and with this company.

So now my VP is at it with me. Yesterday on a client call, he criticized my work right in front of ME and in front of my client. He pointed out ways my work could be improved, yet he never approached me privately on the side to tell me this. He chose to do this right in front of my client for a page that I had JUST reworked on their website. How completely unprofessional of him! So, I was left to defend my work on this call! And I did! I said, I beg to differ, and I told him why.

Last night I became suicidal. I was thinking I should just end my misery now. This will never improve, because it hasn't improved to date.

Aha, and…. It’s not just me! I talked to a coworker privately for a half hour on the phone today who has just as many gripes about my new boss that I have. She said she’s most rude! So it’s definitely not just me.. she’s this way with everyone! She also said that she seems to create a lot more work for everyone - and I agree!!!

Your manager's role is to oversee the workings of the department (or entire company). How she handled the problem only caused friction between you resulting in a difficult, working relationship.
No analytic professional, a transition and the catastrophic Covid pandemic. All combined will mean some risky decisions need to be taken.
That's business - and you made a decision because you thought it was in the client's (and company's) best interest.
However. It went wrong - and unfortunately, the client may focus on the mistake and any attempt at justifying the decision will be viewed as an excuse.
More pressure for your new manager and the risk of the client taking their business elsewhere.
Let's be fair. It's understandable and she was right in telling you.
There could have been a better way to handle it.
Your new manager appears to shy away from confrontation. The emails are her way of taking that chance you'll agree with her, yet at the same time saving her the aggravation of having to confront you.
She's hoping this will solve the problem and assume everybody will simply move forward.
Of course. It's not always the case.
There's a risk of creating a hostile work environment.
Take a step back to appreciate what is really happening.
The new manager has good intentions - but lacking that ability to convey this.
Accept it's early days as she may be new to this level of management herself.
Managers are supposed to 'troubleshoot', give guidance, positive leadership and help oversee the workings of a department or even a whole company.
However. It often doesn't work that way because many new managers find themselves undertaking a role that is more responsibility than they imagined. The result. The manager being the cause - rather than the solution - to many problems.
People often undertake the role of manager/team leader with great initial enthusiasm. Then within a few days wake up to the realisation of what they have taken on.
Managers can have brilliant minds and enter the profession from various routes, yet tend to share a popular trait. They often don't appreciate what's really involved in order to do a particular job.
Some managers enter the profession via their own company being taken over and find it hard going from being 'their own boss' to becoming a part of a larger organisation.
There are those that enter management straight from university. Reading the text books and writing out that dissertation are one thing. When it comes to managing a department/company it's a totally different learning curve.
Then there are those who become managers because their relatives hold a directorship role within the company - such as owning it. They take on the role immediately after college or university, without even studying business.
They try to organise the company in order to please the most important people in their lives without giving focus to the real workings and 'behind the scenes' of the office/factory floor.
Some managers enter the role after working for many years 'on the shop floor' and find the role can be thankless and unbearable. It's often assumed that by taking on the management role, there'll be a bigger financial reward, more 'company perks' and perhaps even more respect.
Sadly. The stress of the role, the conflict with former workmates and being accused of spending too long away from the tools can make the job difficult.
It's no wonder many employees would rather pass over the opportunity.
Many companies - such as yours - find it more productive to introduce a new manager 'from the outside' rather than appoint someone who is already working for the company.
This is in the hope of bringing in fresh perspectives from their leadership and can help to neutralise any disagreements or conflict because there's less risk of things getting too personal.
This is because the new manager is not familiar with the workforce and can feel more comfortable implementing new strategies. This appears to be the case in your organisation.
Trying to put all of this simply, you're in a difficult situation. The anger isn't going to help.
Accept the situation for what it is. It's a business.
Take some positive action to help your working day run smoothly. Let's be fair. The working day is long - especially with conflict.
In business, bear in mind we are all professionals.
Starting with your first admonition. Both you and your colleague took it upon yourselves to try and rectify a clients problem. You showed initiative and your intentions were good.
However. The manager showed a lack of assertive leadership skills.
Next time....
Discuss the incident with your new manager and state that your primary concern was for the client and their continued business.
Follow on to say that you thought it unfair to be chastised via email when you were only trying your best to solve the client's problem.
Mention your 'client strategy'.
Managers love new ideas - especially when they feel that they have contributed.
Do make suggestions and raise issues but in a way as to engage with the manager. Encourage the manager to feel they have been a serious part of the new strategy.
Some managers like to 'think about' an idea for a while, then take some of the credit for implementing their colleagues ideas.
In such a scenario, just compliment the manager for using the idea and 'good team thinking'. It's difficult but just the way things are at times.
When you have a 'one-to-one' with your manager, point out (carefully) that her emails have caused some offence to your colleagues and there's a risk of it causing friction.
A common problem is being unable to 'switch off' at the end of the day. You are currently 'taking work home'.
Read a book or two about stress management and remember that worrying about work after the shift is over will not help. Nobody will thank you for it.
The test with a 'trick question'....Is this test relevant to your job?....Would your work performance be a more reliable indicator of your knowledge?......Worth asking.
It looks like you're going through a tough time.
However. Don't leave just yet. See how things go - because the next few months will be hard for all companies.
Give yourself some time to plan ahead and decide if you want to find another job.
Do some reading on management techniques to gain an insight into the workings of management.
Further reading on self-assertiveness may help as well.
This may help you to deal with your difficult new manager.
The working day can be long and beset with many problems, including what appears to be a manager causing trouble (even if unintentionally).
However. At the end of the day, we are all at work for one reason - to earn a living.

The thing is, there’s no two way conversation with this woman. I give my input, ideas and feedback on work initiatives, all of which she’s ignored. She does things her way and only her way. She’s not the type to be sympathetic to feelings or conflict either. She’s rude and mean. My colleague agrees with me. She’s a tyrant and only wants things HER way and that’s evident.

I hate my job. Why would I stick around to see how this goes? It’s been a month and already I hate her.

I can't face her today... I cannot face work today. I want to call in sick, quit and never turn back. It's taking ALL my strength to get through each and every day with her managing my team. She has created more work for us when we're already understaffed. She's giving me extra tasks to do when I already have too many clients to manage. But it's more so her approach and her attitude I cannot take anymore. It's her rudeness and the fact that what I say doesn't matter whatsoever - I have no input - it's HER way and HER way ONLY. She's proven this to me several times over. She has undermined me in client calls - ignoring what I've said in response to her and putting forth her ideas to MY clients, when I've already stated to her that we need to do X,W, or Z first, and that this is what the client is expecting from us. She does NOT listen to us - and nothing that we say matters - she wants her own strategies implemented, even if it means undermining strategies we already have in the works. I cannot take anymore.

And... my boss wasted my precious time yesterday on a strategy she wants me to pursue that won't work. I told her it won't work, and she didn't believe me - so I spelled it out to her in black and white writing why it won't work. She wasted my time. I don't think she's very bright.