The End of the Road

The more I think about it, the more I want to leave my current job. I work as a technician in a central fill pharmacy; I was recently promoted to a fairly advanced lead position there, and although he hasn’t given me a concrete reason to think this, I really get the impression that my supervisor wanted his girlfriend to get it instead of me. Also, management is hopeless— they simply do not understand what goes on and how things work. They think that, regardless of how much work they pile on us, we’ll still be able to give them the same results as before, when we are understaffed, burnt out, and the machines break down frequently. I feel a lot of pressure to know everything after working with the lead on the other shift, and the problem with that demand is that the other lead can explain things to me until she’s blue in the face, but only when I’m doing it on my own will it really make sense. Plus it’s a very noisy, chaotic, high-pressure environment. It really burns me out. The problem is, the solution isn’t as simple as finding a new job in a different pharmacy, because I’m realizing more and more that I’m sick of working in pharmacy. I’m opening an Etsy shop within the next few weeks, and I’m designing a company logo for a family member, but I can’t live off those. I don’t know what kind of job I want, I just know I don’t want this job or any other pharmacy job. My parents suggested I go back to school; firstly, I am not made of money. Secondly, the one thing for which I would actually want to get an advanced degree, I can’t do because it exploded in my face and I got treated like a leper by the whole ****ing field. (Long story, in case you couldn’t tell…) Ugh. I just want a job that pays enough for me to pay my mortgage and bills. That’s all. I’m sick of investing effort and passion into jobs that don’t work for me. I just don’t know what to do instead of pharmacy, since I’ve done it for so long. I feel like there are a lot of options out there and I am paralyzed by indecision.