What do you say when customers ask if you have a boyfriend?

I like him as a customer. I was uncomfortable, but I am uncomfortable in most social situations. I’m comfortable in my job though.

I’m afraid that might be too titillating for some straight men imagining two women together. I’m sure some people suspect I am gay too. Someone once told me I was pretty butch for a straight chick.

I could say I’m an asexual though. At this point in my life, I feel like that is the most accurate label for me. But then it opens the door to discussing sexuality and the response “Maybe you just haven’t met the right guy yet.” Which is what this customer said to me when I was trying to explain my lack of boyfriend.

Basically, I told him I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t want a boyfriend. I’ve dated a variety of men in my life and I am not looking for a boyfriend. I’m not bitter about it though.

Dont forget, statistics show that order of happiness is:

1. Married men
2. Single women
3. Married women
4. Single men

Why would you want to drop down in the rankings? THAT could make ya bitter!

In a nutsell, "single women are happier than married women."

I think its because they only have to wash their own undergotchies.

There’s a huge variety of sexuality and it’s no one else’s business (unless you choose to share) what yours is. I’m married but wear protective gloves so the man who hit on me didn’t see my wedding ring (he had seen me with my adult son however) but I wasn’t comfortable talking to him about my married status, that’s my boundary, I’m at work and don’t owe a customer any explanation of my life. It sounds like this guy was also possibly trying to hit on you, but not in a particularly adept way.

Are you feeling okay about the situation now?

Yeah, I agree. I’ve spent most of my adult life as a contentedly single person, and I don’t have a good enough reason to change now. I like things as they are.

Yes, I feel better about it after talking to you all. Thank you for helping me process it!

I make one up. I've had boyfriends I know what relationships are, I just say yes make up dates, topics if you have to. Just so they don't try to get involved with you. Or wear a ring on your wedding finger.

I don’t even want to go to the effort of lying. I’ve thought about wearing a ring, but I hate the way wearing jewelry feels on me. It’s weird. I think if I’m ever asked if I have a boyfriend again, I’ll just say “No, thank you,” make noncommittal shrugs at any follow up questions, & use it as an exercise for breathing through/tolerating uncomfortable awkwardness knowing it will eventually pass. Thank you though!

It happened again. Different customer. I thought he was married & was trying to set me up with someone else. My face got super red again. I told him I was a cat lady & my heart belongs to cats—which is the truth. And then I assured him it was nothing “weird”. I thanked him & he left. I think I’m getting slightly better at this.

“I don’t know you like that” and continuing the transaction the customer wants to complete is all that needs to be said here.

You don’t have to lie, wear a ring or explain your sexuality to anyone.

I don’t get it. So weird. There must be something wrong with me. No one ever asked me such a thing.

I think the best answer if you're single is "kind of" - which implies you might be dating someone but is not your boyfriend yet. I personally would then say "why do you ask?"


I would not give any other details - name, or anything else. None of their business. You could always say "I don't want to jinx it by talking about it."

In my view it's good to have pre-prepared answers. Men don't understand how predatory their attention can seem when they are quizzing you about your personal life at your place of employment.