Alcohol Dependency

I used to drink on a daily basis many years ago. I had 5 years sober. Then about 4 or 5 years ago, something triggered me & I started drinking again. It wasn't an everyday thing, but I'd go on binges where I'd drink excessively maybe two or three times a week. My mom died from cancer recently, & watching her suffer really pushed me over the edge & I just didn't care- I could not cope at all with that or with having to see my siblings. I made a New Year's resolution to stop drinking & kept it until yesterday. I don't think that I'm an alcoholic b/c I can go for long periods of time without even wanting to drink, & I don't have a physical need for it. I use it as an escape, from boredom or from my head. Something really horrible happened yesterday, & it involved the very person who always seems to be my trigger- my dad. Anyway, I do really stupid things when I'm drunk, like send people emails which I later regret. Of course, I did that last night, & I may have messed myself up bigtime by doing that. I'm so scared. I think it will be okay, but it was enough of a reality slap to put me back on the right path. Plus, being that alcohol is a depressant & I suffer from severe depression, I get suicidal ideations the next day.

Just relaying my story. I've never posted in this forum before, & I truly hope that I never post that I've used again.

http://www.step12.com/alcoholics-definition.html

psyched......sending you peace and strength your way

You know the duck story...if it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, then it must be a duck.

If alcohol is causing your problems then you got a problem.

Good luck, find a meeting, go to it, post here and post often.

Byz- Thanks- i tried hitting "thanks", but sometimes my internet explorer prevents it from going through.
Do you really think I'm an alcoholic? I don't know, that list would pertain to a lot of people. If I answered "yes' to 3 q's, I am definately an alcoholic? I know that I certainly have a problem with sometimes depending on alcohol to escape, but it isn't like I have to have it.
At any rate... as they say, one day at a time (even if I don't even want it today!).
Valfor- thanks for your support.

I quit drinking thirty years ago because of the meds I took. If the meds had not made quitting mandatory, I likely would have had a serious problem at some point.

In your case, you know alcohol is something that could be problematical. There are many definitions of alcoholism. You do not have to agree with any of them. You just need to stay away from something that has the capacity to take you down the road to misery.

Be well.

Byz-
Well put, as usual.
Congratulations on your 30 years of sobriety!( Notice that's a Pepsi!)