new challenges

hey all, so my sponsor wants me to say hi to 5 people I dont know when i go to meetings. it has to do with the fact that i hate that I can hide so well in meetings. It sounds easy enough but when it comes time to actually do it i freak out. the battle im having is before she said yes to sponsoring me she asked me if i was willing to go to any lengths and i said yes but my lack of action is showing her the complete opposite of willing to go to any lengths. how do i do this without making myself crazy? i have such hard time meeting new people and i feel stupid just thinking bout doing it.

melissa she is trying to help you become immersed in AA by reaching out to others. this action creates a support system for you. if we stick to ourselves and don't allow others to "know" us then we are invisible and alone at meetings. it's a WE program. i think that's why she wants you to overcome your fears even tho it may feel uncomfortable. that's part of going to any lengths in your case i believe. hope this helps....

yeah i know so i gotta just do it i guess. ok i'm gonna do it tonite at the meeting and just get the first time over with maybe i wont feel as stupid as i think i'm gonna feel. we'll see how it goes...and its not that i don't know anyone actually i know quite a few people. but i understand the thought behind it so i just gotta do it and get over myself.

Mellissa,

Just wanted to say good luck, and good for you for doing it. I'm really shy and have trouble reaching out to new people. But the nice thing, I've found is that people in AA are mostly really friendly and genuinely glad to meet people - don't be surprised if you get offered a few phone numbers.

-splitimage

thanks splitimage. I have to do it or I will kwwp hating myself for hiding in AA. And i can't keep doing that.

How did it go? ok i now i'm coing in late in the conversation but i'm genuinly (sp) interested. i used to have have horrible anxiety panic attacks when it came down to if i had to meet people or speak up. i didn't have a sponser at the time to help me through it but the meeting i went to unanimously elected my secretary...that got me over my shyness . people always know what we need. i still am such an anxious person, but i'm a very social person now too. I hope you were able to talk to your 5 people and it wasn't too nerve wraking.

actually i havent had the opportunity to do it i injured my back friday and have had to lay pretty low cuz of the pain. the 2 meetings i have been to i dont remember anything cuz i couldnt concentrate on what was being said cuz of the enormous pain i was in. been to the dr and on medication but its not doing much we will see how it goes till monday then if it isnt getting better i will go see him again.

Melissa - sorry you hurt your back. Hope you feel better soon.

--splitimage

thanks splitimage. its been pretty painful even after the dr and medication. probably should have taken a couple of days off work but didnt. oh well thats life going back tuesday to dr if im not feeling better.

Don't,? why should you?
Whose lengths are you going to go? to Her Lengths, Her Sponsor's lengths Your lengths, What is the standard. Did Her sponsor make her go up and talk to 5 people too. Or did she just decide to make that number up. Did you ask her, whose idea was this and is it standard for newcomers to have to go up and introduce themselves. I thought it was supposed to be a safe place, yet you are beginning to feel stupid. Hmmm.

When you go into a book store do you just go up and introduce yourself to 5 people, I would say no you don't. What about at a party/ function , probably not either. Why Because it's intimidating.

If these people are so concerned about the newcomer why are they not coming up to you?
Look all I want to say is take it easy. You decide if you want to say hello to others not anyone else.If she doesn't like it tell her that's fine. You can start interviewing a new sponsor when ever you feel like it.

Why are you going to give up your own decision making to someone else you hardly even know? Because she is sober and your not. Not true. You are sober the same day. I hear in the rooms who ever got up earliest has the most sobriety. They can't have it all there own way. Quick question for you. What do you do if She picks up a drink?
AA asks you to keep an open mind. Keep it.It's yours.