Not to use

Ok maybe you guys can help me with this, i don't need lectures or anything on what to do and how not to use.,
I am having a hard time with my mom's death (and i know i don't need a tragedy to go use) but i have plenty of years and knowledge under my belt and very rarely to i get the urge...even when i am severly down.

What helps is to make a list of reasons not to use, and if everyone could add a little something that would be wonderful,
right now i am to stubburn to put anything down becase my mind is already made up...even though if i go back out i know i will kill myself becasue i have been through it too many times and not goin through it again...but my brain has turned off any logic, except for this cry of help.

So if anyone could help with that so i can print it out and look at it and put it up everywhere thanks (here comes the waterworks)

I'm sorry to hear of your loss, what helps me from not using is remembering what people who have passed will think of it, would they approve? Probably not, that's what normally keeps me from using, it doesn't always work, but it's always worth a try. Feel better!

Think of how long you've come and the start all over will fill. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry you lost your mom. That is awful.

When I feel like using, I try to remind myself that I'd feel a lot worse after I used. There's the comedown from the high, the screwing up of the brain chemistry and the guilt that comes after it. And remind myself how scary relapse is.

writing a gratitude list of having been clean and sober. all those gifts will disappear if you resume using. ask yourself if you're willing to lose/give up those gifts. is it worth it?
glad u posted...you are reaching out for help so i know in your heart you want to stay sober. don't allow those demons to win. they offer us the world but really give us self destruction.

You could check out my post Just a Thought. That mite give you some insight.

When I get the urge to use, I think of all the negative consequences using has cost me.

Lost my job.
Crashed a car
Broke my nose in a blackout.
Came close to dieing after a bad binge.
Withdrawal seizures.
The sheer hell that withdrawal is for me - puking my guts out and shaking for 3 days.
Shaking hands.

Then I compare it with what my life is like sober.

Good new job.
Being able to play my instruments because my hands aren't shaking.
Being at peace with myself.
Not having to feel guilty or ashamed.
No more lousy hangovers.
Not going to accidentally kill myself or anyone else.
Being able to take courses.
Having time to see friends.
Having more money to spend on going to concerts.

Those are the lists I usually pull out when I want to drink.

Hang in there.

--splitimage
Able to

I am sorry for your loss.
I don't know if it works for you, but I always try to remember how I feel after I've been drinking. I don't want that shame and guilt anymore. And it makes bad things even more bad.
Hang in there.

thanks guys... things aren't goin to well for me right now...not so much about oh am i going to use or not as in daily rememberances.especially now that it's turning into hot weather season.....my mind likes to screw with me,...and especially more when i have gotten little sleep and in escalated pain.

Just another little thing that may be helpfull on your list. Write down things such as: the craving, how bad it is, will pass by. When you feel you are about to use, and there is a possibility: get out, walk away from that situation. Go for a walk, stay home and put on your favorite music. Keep in mind how proud you will be afterwards.
It's not so hard not to use when everything is going well and you have no craving. The real work starts at these hard moments.
Wish you strength!

it's hard to use when it's right in front of you.
not been an alcoholic much but being an addict i overdue anything, reason i write that is because an outpatient program i went to just do happened to be right across the street from a liquor store...ain't that a b@!ch

it never bothered me wasn't my drug of choice but i did feel for others when we would go on a smoke break. and more than not if someone didn't come back from lunch...you know where they went....you would think that they would have planned where to have the rehab a little better ......

Iam sorry for your loss and Iam not going to preach too you or get down your throat I just wanna sends big huggs your way I know how it is to lose someone its very hard dealing with so when you are In pain you will find your self doing what you used too do.Some people dont know how you are in pain and they will start judging you and I hate that I know how it is being in pain and want it too end .

Hugs racee. I am so sorry. My dad died recently, too, and I know it can so so so hard.

Well a reason I can add is that alcohol doesn't make the pain of losing a parent leave you. I drank during the time after my father's death, and I think it made it worse. It did make it worse. I got depressed and angry, lashing out at people and thinking about how worthless I was etc. It prolonged the most sharp stages of grief, because I wasn't moving through anything just drinking and dwelling. That was no way to memorialize my father. If I were more present through my loss, I may have gained much more insight and those emotions are important for feeling I did justice to my father, and for letting go.

Good luck.