whyyyyyyyyyyyy

My entire body hurts and I keep getting hot and cold and sweaty and aaaaaah this sucks. Right now I'll do anything to get high damn. Anything. Trying to get some shrooms so I can trip but people are just selling LSD and I don't want to do that *&^# because it's basically rat poison. Searching around to find something but all they have is aspirin and retarded %$#@. *@!$ I just want to get high off of something, even chug an entire bottle of Nyquil LOL stupid I know but it would work. Thinking about purging. Or maybe cutting but that's also stupid. Buuuut it gets you high...$%@!. I don't know, I'll just not eat for a few days and get a buzz off that lol yes I know I'm ate the ^&*@ up but this is what happens when you get addicted to EVERYTHING. Addiction runs in the fam, good ol' genetics lol I feel like a $%@#ing crack head.

Tried to get crack too but everyone around here sells crystal meth lol and that's yet ANOTHER stupid drug. ...well crack is too but idk I thought it would be funny and amusing to see what I'd act like on crack lol. Why am I typing this, I'm sounding like a total fiend / idiot.

OH WAIT!!! I am lol. I guess that's my purpose in life. I inspire people to stay the %$#@ away from drugs, knives, and toilets LOL.

darla, i wish i could agree with humor but in this case addiction to drugs and alcohol KILLS people every day. just pause a minute, isn't choosing life a better idea? once you're gone, you're gone forever. life sometimes has real life bad stuff but i can attest that getting sober and off drugs GAVE me a far better life than i ever could have imagined for myself. towards the end i prayed for death i was so desperate. no way out i thought. that's the "gift" drugs and alcohol gave me. it promised to make me happy and took away everything and everyone in my life i cared about.
please know i am not 'preaching' you the "gospel" cause i've been where u are now once. after losing my best girlfriend in my whole life she took an exit i needn't mention here. i am still devaststated by her death many years ago as are her now grown kids.
i chose life with help. sober 21 years. i am so glad i was given the opportunity to live. i have 3 grandchildren i would've never known. today they are the joy of my life.
i hope you will find "you are sick and tired of being sick and tired" of this vicious cycle you are in right now. i hope you won't be just another sad statistic. i don't think your thread will keep others from drugs. each one of us makes our own choice. but you've convinced me your drug use is trying to destroy you.
darla, if you're ever interested about what i've written you can pm me any time. if not, that's ok too. i don't judge you. it is what it is. only you can make a choice.

I'm sorry man...I was jonzing reeeaaally bad. I'm trying to stay off drugs, went 6 days but I was in so much pain that by the end of the night I was curled up in the fetal position. Ended up drinking just a shot and it all went away. I didn't realize how bad it would be, I was stupid to think I wasn't that addicted.

I'm so sorry :P

Darla ~ Are you ok now?? Are you sober?? I can't help but worry about you. Withdrawing is a serious thing, and you really should be under a doctor's care.

I've been where you are, and it's no fun. I did it by myself too, and I shouldn't have. I should have gone inpatient, but I didn't. I was lucky and nothing happened to me. but the amount of booze I drank it's a wonder I didn't have the DT's and seizures. God was watching over me.

What you're doing is great - getting off of drugs. But make sure you're SAFE. I'm so glad you chose LIFE over drugs/booze. Because I know that YOU knew you were killing yourself. Drugs/booze kill ~ and they kill slowly and painfully. I've buried too many people -- i've lost too many friends to addiction. It's a horrible disease, but it can be STOPPED. thank God you're trying to stop it.

So just take it a minute at a time -- a whole day at a time is too much. Keep posting here with your progress. We do care! God bless. Hugs, Lee

Thank you for this comment...I'm trying to stay sober but going cold turkey hurts waaaay too much...like way too much. So I'm just going to drink a little at night and go on from there. Really, the reason why I've started drinking so much is because I quit doing pills...for some dumb reason I thought it would be more acceptable. Sooo probably sort of withdrawing from both.

((((((Darla))))))

really I think you should go into rehab/detox to get help with this. also go to aa or na meetings right away. I hope you get the help you really need.