[geniousjess]

I just got 7 months saturday. Monday my house flooded. I walked through that pretty well considering the circumstance. Now nothing is wrong, the house is fine, i've taken all the actions i should have, and i'm crazy. I was doing great, handling everything, and now i'm researching whether or not i'm an alcoholic. I already know the answer. It's like i'm searching for a loophole again. i miss drinking lately. i know its only one day at a time but i can't help but consider that for the rest of my entire life i am expected to do everything completely sober. i think if i walk away now i can live alone somewhere and not hurt anyone too much, i don't need to take this any further or grow attached to any more people. maybe i overcorrected. I hate when these thoughts come that make me question what i'm doing. I start trying to figure out how to drink, and lie and keep what i've gotten thus far. my brain is a twisted place sometimes. im happier now than i've ever been and i'm doing better than ever, but when i start to follow my thoughts down this path it gets pretty difficult to remember that. i had 8 months once before. i'm trying to remember how i felt after i left, its elusive though. My brain forgets the bad sometimes. i'm sure i'll figure it out, i've got a lot more to lose now, but it doesn't mean it isn't still difficult at times.

[missbelle]

Its very difficult. My younger daughter is really struggling after 9 months of sobriety...the longest she has ever gone! I think you cannot think about the future..like how can I not drink the rest of my life. Its focusing on today only. Thats hard but the statement "one day at a time" makes more sense then you think!

Hang in there...yes, sometimes we forget how bad it was when we were drunks!!

[madisgram]

Now nothing is wrong, the house is fine, i've taken all the actions i should have, and i'm crazy

i call this the boomerang affect. after the stress is gone i used to go into a dither when everything got ok. AA gives us a red flag alert to remind us to not drink and be aware of the boomerang.

but i can't help but consider that for the rest of my entire life i am expected to do everything completely sober

.
we drink to escape from life. staying sober allows us to have a life.

i think if i walk away now i can live alone somewhere and not hurt anyone too much

have you considered the person you'd most harm/hurt is yourself?

start trying to figure out how to drink

we call this scamming yourself. it's denial that you don't have a problem with alcohol.

im happier now than i've ever been and i'm doing better than ever, but when i start to follow my thoughts down this path it gets pretty difficult to remember that.

i used to recall my last drunk and how my life was such a mess from drinking. that really helped. keep reminding yourself how far you've come sober.

My brain forgets the bad sometimes

selective memory. the alcohol is calling you.

i recall many years ago my struggling too. your post reminded me of why i stay sober one day at a time. my life has done a 360 sober. a trying day sober has never been as bad as a good day drunk. if you keep your focus on your goal you can achieve sobriety as many of have. i use AA still to help me and others, 21 yrs. later. it's a life process. i rarely even think about alcohol today. do you attend a 12 step program of recovery like AA? is so bring your struggles up at a meeting. we all have experienced what you're going thru in early sobriety. you'll get positive solutions of how to overcome this. and yes, you need to have the willingness to remain sober. congrats on your 7 months. it's a great accomplishment!
i wish you the best.

[Willcat]

Congrats on 6 months Jess.

I too have had days when drinking/drugging seemed like a good thing to do. Even when everything is going well. One recovery tool that helps is 'thinking the drink through'. Sure a few drinks will feel good. Then I wont stop at just a few, I'll drink until I pass out. The next day I'll want to drink to get over the hangover, then drink all day. Before I know it, I'm back to the alcoholic bottom that prompted me to quit drinking in the first place.

Keep going forward in your recovery ODAAT .

[splitimage]

I'm six months sober and still get urges to drink pretty strongly, fortunately now it's occassionally not every day. I too can't think about forever. I really try to stay focussed on the here and now. Mindfullness meditation has helped me a lot with that. Also I remember how awful my last few drinking episodes were and how I hurt myself, and how close to killing myself I came. I don't ever want to go back there.

Yeah, life isn't perfect for me now, I'm unemployed and struggling with job hunting and have a lot of money worries, but drinking would just make everything worse.

Keep staying sober, one day at a time.

--splitimage

[DePressMe]

Congrats on making it 7 months sober. For me the first year of sobriety was a constant struggle. Things get better if you make it to 9 mos and then a year. So. take heart--it does get better. Now I very rarely think about drinking and it is just a passing thought. I never want to go back to drinking. Hang in there.

[We_do_recover]

7 months is amazing, truly miraculous

it has been said that our minds are like dangerous neighbourhoods. we shouldn't hang out there alone

it's a great idea to speak to someone about these thoughts & ideas so that you can bring them out of the darkness and into the light

once we are able to more clearly see our thoughts, once they are exposed, we can see them for what they really are

it's so absolutely natural for you to want to drink again, but that doesn't mean that you absolutely have to. you have a choice now, something that you maybe didn't know that you had before

love & light