I need your gentle advice.

I have been prescribed Zoloft and Xanax (for depression and anxiety/panic disorder) nightly and one ambien in the early morning to fall back asleep.
But for the last several months I have been mixing these meds with any OTC (over the counter) drousy meds. I keep on wanting more to ease my pain. Example: I take my prescribed ambien early in the morning and now I feel that I have to take one dramamine (for nausia) to take the edge off and take away my pain that I am feeling inside (depression from rejection of my family, never been in love and no job).
Now I crave it each time, I look forward to taking it.
So I asked my self a lot of times, If there was a therapy treatment for this issue would I go, the answer is no. I also ask would I tell my doctor (psychiatrist) that I mix these meds with these OTC meds I say no, cause I feel that I need it right now.
See my mother is a full time alcholic and her side of the family were all alcholics.
So am I developing an addiction?
Am I addicted
My life is hard to bare right now I know I can't stop, not now.
Please note: I will never and have never taken more than what has been prescribed to me with my prescription meds, if anything I would rather take more of the OTC meds with it to give me that "numb feeling".
Anyway, thank you in advance for your kind gentle advice.
BTW I don't see my T anymore cause the state will not pay for my visits. I am broke and have no insurance so I can't see a T at this time.
My psychiatrist has a special payment plan of less than 20 dollars a visit, my roommate pays for that for me and my meds.

Hi ~ I can't say if you're an addict or not -- only YOU can decide that. But you DO seem to have an addictive personality. That CAN run in families. Both my parents were alcoholics, and I ended up as one too. After years of heavy drinking, I went to AA and got sober -- and now have 18 years clean/sober.

I'd be very careful with what you're doing. Some OTC drugs don't mix well with prescription drugs.

If you're having "inner pain" it sounds more like you're depressed. A good antidepressant will help you with this. Talk to your doctor about your feelings -- he CAN help!!! But trying to search for that "high" or trying to numb the pain isn't the way to go. At least with an antidepressant, you still feel your emotions -- it's just that they aren't stuck on depressed all the time.

Best of luck & God bless! Hugs, Lee

gentle advice for you but truth also from my own experience
when we use drugs or alcohol to escape to feel numb we are not addresing the underlying problem. dealing/coping with life and symptoms of depression, etc.
clouds, i don't believe you would have posted unless underneath you think you have a problem. i hope this info may help you.

((hugs)) Thank you both.
Madisgram, you are so right, I did post cause I don't want this issue to spiral out of control and I am starting to see the signs of that.
I never been in love and I want to be in love so badly with social phobia it does not help much. Instead of being in love when I am out to the store with my only friend I seem to get many guys looking the other way once they see my face, this is a trigger for me to come home and take meds, to cover the pain of rejection instead of not being able to fall in love. It deeply hurts. I hope I get the strength to tell my doctor the truth. I want to be ready but I feel I am not and I don't want this to get out of control My next appointment is in the middle of Oct. This is something I have to pray about.
Thanks again my dear friends (hugs)

Sounds like you need a little different focus and hope to get out of concentrating on getting "away" from bad feelings.

I would figure out a "project" to help your self esteem (guys looking/not looking at you in stores, thinking they don't like your face, etc. is not about whether you will be loved or not). I think you have decided you have certain insurmountable problems and are a certain way and need to change your point of view about yourself, your decisions of who you are!

If I were currently in your shoes, I'd work on getting to the local library and finding some young adult fiction about teens with my problems; I don't think you're a teen, but that's what I read in my 20's and 30's until I could get a good therapist to work with and the reading and identifying I did with the characters in the books (and seeing how and that, they solved their problems) helped me grow in the meantime.

(hugs) Thank you Perna! I am in my upper 30's. Good idea about getting to the libarary.

I too mix OTC medication (benadryl) with my prescribed meds. I also take my prescribed medication early, so I am basically taking two doses at once. I know I need to tell my doctor and my therapist. It will be hard because I don't want to stop what I'm doing and I am afraid my therapist and/or doctor will say my parents need to handle my medications again. But, as I pondered your post I thought maybe I need to tell them I'm in so much pain I'm abusing my medications. I guess that's my gentle advice to both you and to myself.

If you think you have a problem you probably do...that is my experience as a substance counselor.

clouds keep posting to offer us updates. we care. your questioning is a step in the right direction.

Ginger can be more effective for nausea than dramamine. It is available in pills or as a tea, but if you have access to a freezer you can get the actual root and cut off pieces as needed. It can be stored in the freezer. You can chop it up and pour boiling water over it and let it soak to make your own tea.

If you can get yourself to drink more water that can help in many ways, too. Most people tend to be dehydrated. It can cause headaches, nausea, and trouble sleeping.

Going out for walks can help you feel better. 30 minutes, 3x per week can make a big difference. When people are depressed they tend to stop moving, and this just makes things worse. Walking is one of the best ways to get exercise.