..Peer & family Problems... =s

hello... i'm Raiana.. and i've been feeling confused lately.
all my friends drink and they smoke, and.... i'm just worried bc i'm starting to feel like drinking with them... and both sides of my family drink..
i just don't know what to do. i can't get help with my mother bc she's way too tough with me, and... i'm scared of her. so, i just wanted some advise. i know i shouldn't drink, but how can i prevent it? or if i can't, how can i control it ?

u pose some thoughtful questions, riana. i don't know your age group. i believe the best rule of thumb is, if you drink/drug to gain a feeling or drink/drug to get rid of a feeling with repeated use it can lead to a problem..drug addiction or alcoholism. once that occurs we don't control it, it controls us. not everyone is affected by alcohol in a negative way but too often or too much also contributes to addiction.
hope this helps.

A lot of times the decision is half of the battle. I don't drink or smoke either, and sometimes I worried if I would be accepted because of that, but in the end I decided to just not do those things for various reasons. Firstly, because if I got drunk that meant I'd be sort of losing control and might do something stupid. Secondly, I'm prone to addiction and figure the best way to not get addicted is to never try it. Thirdly, drinking in excess and smoking are not healthy.

I have found doing things in life that help me grow mentally, emotionally and secular spirituality makes drinking and drugging less and less attractive.

Raiana,

Simply put, you control your so-called negative urges by thinking about the consequences of your actions. The human imagination is a powerful tool that can keep us out of trouble. Remember, underage drinking is against the law.

Consider what would happen if you were caught by your parents or the police for underage drinking. Would it be embarrassing? Would it cost a lot of money if lawyers had to become involved to get you out of trouble? Can you or your family afford thousands of dollars in court costs if a judge decides to make an example of you?

The decision to smoke tobacco is a little more difficult to get right. Let me share with you, as a former smoker, there is little advantage to smoking, but many disadvantages. I've lost a grandfather and a father to small cell cancer of the lung -- directly related to cigarette smoking. They both smoked for many years.

Also know that nicotine addiction -- nicotine is one of the primary chemicals in tobacco that smoker's crave -- nicotine addition is more difficult to break than heroin addition. And there is science supporting that statement -- it's not just an opinion.

The best way to avoid nicotine addiction is to not start.

I can't answer all your questions, but I can only provide a little food for thought.

Perhaps you should speak with an adult smoker who has tried and cannot quit smoking (most adults who smoke do want to quit.)

You have to learn to make your own decisions Raiana. That's part of growing up. Make sure that you have enough information to make a proper decision. If you don't know, ask. Your public library is a good source of information.

Good luck, Raiana. I think you're on the right road. Don't forget to stop and think when you feel that you may be getting lost.