[alone in the world]

first time posting her and I am not sure I should . brief history. When the world gets to be to much for me I reach for the xanax which I am no longer prescribed. I don't take 1 I take 5 or more just anything to knock me out. I have come to the point where this is a habit and I suffer so bad when I don't allow myself to take them. Now everyone, my T, my case manager, my bf all think I need to look at the fact that my abuse is becoming an addiction. I believe I have it under control and have not used for 2 days. They all want me to consider very stronly that I attend NA. I don't believe I need to. I think I am in control and don't have a problem. The funny thing is I am getting certified as a drug and alcohol counselor aand can see the signs but will not admit to them so much denial. afraid of what it would say about me to admit I have a problem. Just so confused and lost. do't know which way to turn. where do I go from here?

[madisgram]

well as you probably know xanex is highly addictive and can be dangerous. i can relate to your post cause while i never abused them when prescribed taking them led me into alcoholism. was abruptly taken off them in rehab, not the correct way, and had a grand mal seizure. due to xanex's half life one must be weaned off them and monitored by a doc. after my experience i looked it up in the PDR. recommended use time is a max of 6 months.
in your case if nothing else you are taking it unprescribed. that sounds like a problem. and take a look at the payoff. what does xanex do for you that you can't leave'em alone? if it were a vitamin i could understand but your continued use indicates a subtance abuse problem, imho.

I believe I have it under control and have not used for 2 days.

is counting the number of days without really working for you? you're planning to be a counselor. it may be the old denial trick has you justifying your use. consider also that professionals recognize you probably have a problem also.
i'm glad you posted for input. i can't qualify that you do have a problem. only you can. but you are concerned enough cuz you posted about it. going to an NA meeting may help. you may hear someone else that is doing the same thing as you. it can't hurt to go if you are willing to have an open mind.

Unfortunately, Xanax addiction often occurs because of the body’s own natural reaction to the drug. The body builds up a tolerance after a while so that the person must take larger doses to feel the beneficial effects of taking Xanax. As the person takes larger doses and takes them more frequently in an effort to find relief, dependency increases and Xanax addiction occurs. Xanax addiction isn’t just physical, either. The person becomes psychologically dependent on the drug, strengthening the addiction. http://www.drugstrategies.org/drugs_...96/impact.html

[alone in the world]

Originally Posted by madisgram

well as you probably know xanex is highly addictive and can be dangerous. i can relate to your post cause while i never abused them when prescribed taking them led me into alcoholism. was abruptly taken off them in rehab, not the correct way, and had a grand mal seizure. due to xanex's half life one must be weaned off them and monitored by a doc. after my experience i looked it up in the PDR. recommended use time is a max of 6 months.
in your case if nothing else you are taking it unprescribed. that sounds like a problem. and take a look at the payoff. what does xanex do for you that you can't leave'em alone? if it were a vitamin i could understand but your continued use indicates a subtance abuse problem, imho. is counting the number of days without really working for you? since you're planning to be a counselor i would already imagine the old denial trick has you justifying your use. consider that professionals recognize you probably have a problem also.
i'm glad you posted for input. i can't qualify that you do have a problem. only you can. but you are concerned enough cuz you posted about it. going to an NA meeting may help. you may hear someone else that is doing the same thing as you. it can't hurt to go if you are willing to have an open mind.

thanks for the advice I know I am the one to make the decision but I think I can't without help. I value my T opinion so I have to think seriously about NA. and yes I might come out of a mtg with something positive.

[layla11]

Hi alone in the world. Just wanted to tell you my experience with zanax, I took it for a while and then doc changed to me lorazapan. This is what she told me. That it is longer acting. While zanax is short acting. Maybe the lorazapan mignt be a option? I'm not a doctor, but want to help. The doctor told me the bad thing about zanax was that you felt worse when it wore off, then before. So, maybe this is what is happening with you. The lorazapan was a better choice for me. I started out taking it 3 times a day as percribed, then have gotten down to one. Well one day at a time for me. So let me say today I am down to one. Hope this helps.

[gma45]

I believe if you face your problem it would say good things about you especially if you are going into drug and alcohol counseling. I personally would not want to see a counselor that didn't face their own problems. How could they be any help to me with mine? Going to NA doesn't make you any less of a person if anything it will make you a better one.

[Leed]

I did not want to admit to MY addiction to Xanax either, but I infact WAS addicted to them, and they WERE prescribed. Shame on my doctor!!! She kept prescribing them, and they are supposed to be ONLY for short-term use! She prescribed them to me for over a year or more!!!

I didn't take one either -- I took one WHENEVER I had a panic attack and that was VERY OFTEN. I might take 4 or 5 within 5 or 6 hours and that's way too many, plus I was an alcoholic besides! So I was taking Xanax on top of alcohol -- I could have killed myself!

Yes, I was in denial -- until I realized that I was dying from alcohol & Xanax abuse. So I got sober by going to AA. That was 19 yrs ago this past July.

You have GOT to get clean -- drugs KILL and one of these days you're going to take too many and it's going to kill you. Or else you're going to take your 4 or 5 and your heart isn't going to be able to handle it anymore. STOP NOW before you become a statistic !!! Please -- this is no joke! God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

If you are not taking them as prescribed you are abusing them. This does require some type of intervention (on your own part) to get off of them (considering they're highly addictive and dangerous). I took ativan for awhile for anxiety and stopped myself because I was taking too many, eventually my drinking escalated and off I went.

I attend meetings regularly and have nothing but positive feelings toward them. The people are so supportive, a lot of them are some of the most together people I've met. Certainly their struggle with addiction/ alcoholism which led to recovery has made them not weak at all but better people.

It is much more of a struggle to try and combat addiction on your own than it is to ask for help. It is SO much easier. Best wishes.

[kristimanilla]

It sounds like you just did admit it. Everything will be alright, maybe you can try other options. Try meditating, yoga, and exercise. Try reading. Have you seen a therapist? Maybe addressing and dealing with the issue that is causing you to want to take the Xanax may help.

One thing you can do is write a letter as if you are writing to a therapist. Be sure to write down all your feelings about why you are taking the medicine. The next day, read the letter as if you are the therapist. Write out what thoughts came across your mind as you read the letter and offer some advice. This may be difficult because you will have to step outside the box, but it is worth a shot.

Whatever suggestions you have for yourself, practice them.

[madisgram]

there's a key word in recovery-Acceptance of what we have become. then taking responsibility for our self destructive actions and creating change in our life.
Admitting one has a problem is not the same because there's no action sparked.
glad you are considering going to NA. i do believe it will help you put the drug down. it worked for me and many many others.