[layla11]

Confusion is a problem for me, especially if I'm tired. When I wake up in the morning, always something negative comes in my head. (usually what a bad person I am) I have blamed my past for this for the most part. But now I'm confused about what is the part of the alcoholism and what is my past abuse. Does this make since? I know that drinking caused distorted thinking. Ive been sober for over a year.

[Leed]

Congratulatons on a year sober! That's great and I know it wasn't easy.

But this would be a great time to get into therapy. You've got some sober time under your belt, so you feel a but sure of yourself as far as sobriety goes. Talking to a therapist would certainly be a great idea at this stage of the game You will get into painful areas, but I don't think it would jeopardize your sobriety -- but if it did, you'd be able to call your sponsor, go to meetings, etc.

Please call a good therapist, and set up some sessions. I think alot of us if not most have gone into therapy to help us understand ourselves a bit more. You won't regret it, I promise. God bless and PLEASE let us know what happens. Big hugs, Lee

[Rachel.i]

Originally Posted by layla11

Confusion is a problem for me, especially if I'm tired. When I wake up in the morning, always something negative comes in my head. (usually what a bad person I am) I have blamed my past for this for the most part. But now I'm confused about what is the part of the alcoholism and what is my past abuse. Does this make since? I know that drinking caused distorted thinking. Ive been sober for over a year.

For me, when I wake up in the morning and automatically have a thought like "I'm a loser," it's usually from my depression and low self-esteem, partly from having ground into me for so long that I was worthless. Also, although I have not been drinking for the past couple months, I had developed midlife alcoholism for the past couple years. That too plays into it all, because then I think of stupid things I did when I was drunk. I agree with the previous poster that a therapist may be able to help you sort all this out, because, yes, it can be all so confusing. I started seeing one and it is helping me.

[gma45]

I get this, I have to live in the moment I can't change the past and I can't predict the future sooo, Don't be so hard on yourself. Usually my thoughts like that always have to do with the past. We need to forgive ourselves. You are worth it!

[Rachel.i]

Originally Posted by Rachel.i

For me, when I wake up in the morning and automatically have a thought like "I'm a loser," it's usually from my depression and low self-esteem, partly from having ground into me for so long that I was worthless. Also, although I have not been drinking for the past couple months, I had developed midlife alcoholism for the past couple years. That too plays into it all, because then I think of stupid things I did when I was drunk. I agree with the previous poster that a therapist may be able to help you sort all this out, because, yes, it can be all so confusing. I started seeing one and it is helping me.

I'm replying to my own post, but I wonder if I should have used the word alcoholism. I was definitely drinking too much. The problem was drinking at home, which I stopped doing a couple months ago, and which I think could have led to alcoholism.

[madisgram]

glad you are seeing a therapist. sometimes problem drinking goes hand and hand with abuse and depression. i used alcohol to numb the abuse and the horrid depression. was a short lived solution that ended up biting me in my butt. in my case i had become an alcoholic, major depressive disorder and was an abuse vistim as well. i got help for all of it to sort it all out. sobriety is a very good beginning. congrats for your year sober. each day is a new beginning of a wonderful life.

Originally Posted by layla11

Confusion is a problem for me, especially if I'm tired. When I wake up in the morning, always something negative comes in my head. (usually what a bad person I am) I have blamed my past for this for the most part. But now I'm confused about what is the part of the alcoholism and what is my past abuse. Does this make since? I know that drinking caused distorted thinking. Ive been sober for over a year.

it's a shame we cannot charge ourselves with 'assault'...!

the things we have done to ourselves

the same way we have been assaulted...charge those that have assaulted us

sleepy is what seems to me to be the most vulnerable.

...and I'm sure you know this

a hangover can drag the horrors out for hours a serious hangover for days and any more than that only a coffin looks good.
....now thats the distorted thinking.

unfortunately layla...once we rent a drinking room in hell...!

(and please forgive me the intensity)

we never left the place like we found it...

which were'nt so good anyhow but the landlord don't give a damn ....the landlord wants us to stay...some of us do...stay

and those that leave like you have...

...for much more suitable accomodation!

continue to be harrassed...the landlord does not like those who leave.

you are safe,....they are just nasty messages from a crap real estate agent...

those like me helped build the place...you are safe

you owe nothing in this dark world...and your dreams are just lingering memories...

you were never bad...you were just living in a bad place

it's ok now...better to be missed by the ones that really love you