[abm1204]

I am currently having a problem with my bd, and it's making my life a living hell. I don't know how many of you have problems with money, but it is a huge part of my BD that I cannot function without having a little money in my pocket. That has totally screwed up somethings with myself and my husband. The rent didn't get paid because I thought that I'd be getting another paycheck by the end of the month, but I still have yet to get it... thus rent was not paid and we are probably going to be evicted. I don't know how many times that I have told him I don't want to be in charge of paying bills and I am not good with money, he told me to learn... it's hard to learn to handle money when all you can think about is how to spend it. I need some advice on how to handle finances and how to get him to understand that when I say that, I need help. He thinks that there is nothing wrong with me and it's all in my head. I love him to pieces and don't want anything to happen to our relationship because he is the greatest thing to happen and I don't know what I'd do if I lost him. He is my bestfriend. But sometimes I lie to him about money because I always think I can fix the problem, but sometimes it just compounds and I end up in the dog house... please help if you have any suggestions!

[splitimage]

I'm really bad with money too - I got majorly into debt and had to declare bankruptcy. I'd suggest one of two things - going for credit counselling, this is usually a free service and they offer help with budgeting. I had to go as part of my bankruptcy process and it was really useful. You might also want to see if there's a debtor's annonymous group in your area. I've heard good things about them.

splitimage

[Leed]

Heres something I did early in my marriage.

I took the money I had for the month, or bi=weekly, or whatever, and divided it equally into either 4 weeks, or 2 weeks, etc. and I put equal amounts into envelopes. Those envelopes were NOT TO BE TOUCHED until the bills or rent or whatever was to be paid. That money was ONLY for the bills. You could NOT use it for food, for play time, or anything else. Only the bills, and it seemed to work for me. I HAD TO TRUST MYSELF, and it made my self-esteem go up because I knew I could trust ME.

Maybe it will work for you too. It's worth a try. Best of luck! And remember, don't touch that money! Hugs, Lee

[johnf22881]

I can relate to you and know what you mean when you say all you can think about with money is how to spend it. BD and my other issues has wreaked havoc on my life, too. This is the best advice I can tell you for the immediate fix, but there is more to do (therapist,pdoc, meds, support groups, big talk with your husband to get him on your page, and the like): if you have a friend or family member you trust, give them the money to hold. I used to give my grandmother all of my money to hold and gave her a list of what had to be paid and when, just so I couldn't start lying to get money to blow on drugs or whatever else came to mind.

[thickntired]

I can totally relate to what you're going through. I love my husband so much, but I'm terrible about budgeting for our bills. I often worry he will leave me because he has had enough. A few things I did was put my debit card in a lock box, so I have to use cash. Pay my bills early - late fees will add up in a hurry. I shop at consignment stores for used clothes, and Aldi's or Wal-Mart for food.

A great website for you to read is http://www.stretcher.com/

Peace & Hugs,

TnT