[carrie_ann]

i know i don't deserve any help/advice, i been nothing but a pain in the *** here ... but some would really be appreciated plz?

i've just spent the last 2 days or so lying in bed ... no food, drink, bathing, no answering calls etc ... coz i just give up! i've got nothing left, screwed everything up, and who doesn't hate me by now probly just pities me, that's how i feel. so ... if i've hit this rock bottom every1 talks of ... where's the point in trying now, i've screwed everything???

[madisgram]

carrie ann the point is a new life may await you. a life filled with many wonders beyond description. when we hit a bittom the decision is clear-do we wish to stay in the quagmire, wallowing in it, or make a decision to change what holds us back in life-addiction in my case. i had thin hope anything could change but staying where i was was pure destruction. i needed to put my big girl panties on, hope the wording is ok-and step up to my destiny and fight for my life. anything less for me would not be fruitful. i knew that in my heart.

[LadyShadow]

Carrie-ann, I have been where you were, long time ago. I spent years in bed. YEARS. I lost about 4 or 5 years of my life in a mishmash of vague memories and half awake dreams. I spent so long in bed, never thinking I would get out. But everyone has to hit rock bottom before they can get up. You have to fall before you have to rise. Just think you have no where to go but up. Good luck, you will pull yourself out of this. I believe you will

[Leed]

CarrieAnn -- The others are right -- Rock bottom is just that -- the bottom. You can't go lower than that. It's misery, nightmares, self-pity, loneliness, and a myriad of other emotions that are too many to list. You can't stay there -- you are a vital human being who deserves better than this!

So what if you relapsed! Do you think you're the only one who has done this? People do it every day! And they are laying in bed right now, feeling the same as you are. But the majority will NOT STAY there!!! They'll get up and get HELP.

That's what you have to do -- GET UP. Get to AA, go to meetings, work the Steps, do service work (which kept me sober BIG TIME). Service work can mean just emptying ash trays & setting up chairs for the meeting! it doesn't mean you have to go out & see people.

Get out of bed & get to a meeting! This is your life Carrie, and life is WONDERFUL in sobriety! Take if from someone who drank HEAVILY for 20 years -- and then found AA. Life couldn't be better now!!! Please Carrie -- God put you here for a reason -- not to die as a drunk. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

[cookfan56]

Originally Posted by carrie_ann

i know i don't deserve any help/advice, i been nothing but a pain in the *** here ... but some would really be appreciated plz?

i've just spent the last 2 days or so lying in bed ... no food, drink, bathing, no answering calls etc ... coz i just give up! i've got nothing left, screwed everything up, and who doesn't hate me by now probly just pities me, that's how i feel. so ... if i've hit this rock bottom every1 talks of ... where's the point in trying now, i've screwed everything???

Carrie Ann, I was a multiple relapser for many, many years. And now I have almost three years of continuous sobriety. It *can* be done. The stories of multiple relapse and then successful recovery are powerful stories. I know, I didn't believe it until so many people told me it was true! Those who get sober and stay sober permanently (the first time) are great and to be highly commended. But the other way counts too. I agree with others. If you have to fake it to hold your head up high to go to a meeting, do it. I can't tell you how many times I've done it. If you can't go back to your home group because you can't face them, go somewhere else. Do whatever it takes.

[notz]

Reminds me of depression.

I was told by those in the program to grab my emotional muscle and put my foot on the floor and follow it with the other foot. Don't know if it will help you but sometimes I still have to do this and I'm sober almost 20 years now. It took a lot to get me sober and I fiercely protect what I've got. You can too.

Getting sober and staying sober is work, sometimes harder than others. The promises are there if you work for them.

[gma45]

I wish you the best Carrie ann You have nowhere to go but up! small steps.....shower...food. Long road ahead but better than the one you have been going down I am sure.