Im not sure if im posting in the right forum, i think i am.

Theres just a few things i want to get off my chest, its about my dad.

See, he's always had drink issues, throughout my life of knowing him hes been borderline alcoholic and it scares me really because he gets so nasty when he drinks. i have huge amounts of respect for him because he has done alot for me as my dad, but as soon as he touches drink, i loose all that respect, he just turns horrid when he drinks, not a friendly man at all. hes grumpy, snappy, moody, he cant speak properly, slurs his words, stares at people, and the list goes on. but the biggest thing that gets me about him is that the second he touches alcohol (which seems to be all day lately) his personality changes, but it will only change one of 2 ways... 1. he will get sarcastic, and wind you up and take the mik out of you, and show you up in front of other people until you snap and have a go at him back, which makes him get very angry - and on occasions he will throw things around the room. or 2. he gets nasty straight away, in which on occasions will throw things round etc.

i just dont know what to do, ive lost one parent due to drink and hes always been like that. he hides it too, thinking we (his kids) dont know hes drinking, but alot of the time we do know and we can smell it on him, and all the tell-tale signs (listed above) show.

Some days he admits he has the problem, and some days he doesnt and he will argue the fact that he doesnt (only ever when he's drunk/been drinking). i cant say anything to him either because that makes him angry too, and when hes been drinking for so long the last thing i want to do is make him angry, ive seen what it can lead to..

Has anyone got any advice on what you think i should do, the only thing i want to is move out, and leave him to it (hes always saying hes happy doing it, so how can help him with that attitude) but due to financial reasons i cant move out, im only 19 and not in a particularly high paid job. shame.

Speak soon guys.

[Sujin]

Gosh, Simply_Simon,

If I didn't know better I'd swear this was my friend who made this post! You have described the exact situation which my dear friend is dealing with right now. I have been trying to help him come to a conclusion, and the only thing that seems left to do is for him to move out. The only problem is that he is not in the financial position to do so right now either. (He's 26, by the way). I have dealt with alcoholics, (my ex-husband was one) and the thing that helped me the most was distancing myself away from him. (I know it's harder to do when it's your dad). I also attended a few al-anon meetings in my area, but found them to not be very beneficial, for me at least. You may feel differently. If you aren't familiar with these meetings they are basically meetings for people who have alcoholics in their lives. They kind of go by the 12 step rule, much like AA does. If anything, they are good for the support you can find from others in similiar situations. I found more support at a depression group I went to weekly. I wish I had more of a solution for you, but I just wanted you to know that I understand, and I'm wishing you well.

Sujin

[Sujin]

Also, I noticed you are in England. I'm not sure what type of chapters/groups there are out where you live. I am in the U.S. It might help to check around, if anything at least you can meet some people who are in similiar situations.

Sujin

Well my dad has now made himself ill by drinking. he goes through stages when he drinks, and it goes like this:

1.he drinks in the evening, gets quite drunk.
2.cant sleep at night, and has a panic attack in the night.
3.is really tired and grumpy the next morning, and feels quite ill from the drink (hangover).
4.he drinks in the morning to counteract the hangover (hair of the dog i think its called).
5.by the evening hes drunk.
6.goes to bed, and cant sleep etc.
7.wakes up ill, usually throwing up etc.
8.doesnt go to work because hes ill
9.so he stays at home and continues to drink.

and i would just like to add that throughout every stage he is really grumpy, and can get really horrible to be around because he gets annoying, tries to start arguements etc.

currently hes at stage 7, is ill at the moment, and i bet he doesnt go to work in the morning.

it is so frustrating for me to watch because i know theres nothing i can do for him. and like my councillor said, im the type of person to tries to "fix" everything and mend everything, so i hate seeing people like that. i wish i knew what to do.