[yoslos12]

So as much as I'd like to say that I'm not addicted to anything, I feel like I really am. Addicted to pain, substance abuse, alcohol...anything really. I keep searching for a way to stop or a reason to stop, but I've never found one good enough to be able to put up with life without them. I feel like I can stop if I want to but I've decided that my life is better with all these things. Just as an escape. So why stop if these things help me to escape from a cold world?

[hamster-bamster]

Can you clarify your addiction to pain, please, with some examples?

[yoslos12]

Oh yeah, sure, I forgot about that. It's not terribly consistent but self injury. Mostly cutting. It used to be a lot more prevalent but it still happens from time to time.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by yoslos12

Oh yeah, sure, I forgot about that. It's not terribly consistent but self injury. Mostly cutting. It used to be a lot more prevalent but it still happens from time to time.

Well, you said you were looking for a reason to stop. Having skin without scars is a perfectly valid reason to stop.

[yoslos12]

Yeah, I really wish that would work. But for some reason, scars don't bother me. I actually think they're kinda cool. I don't show them off, but that doesn't bother me.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by yoslos12

Yeah, I really wish that would work. But for some reason, scars don't bother me. I actually think they're kinda cool. I don't show them off, but that doesn't bother me.

I see. Then there isn't seem to be a reason, agreed. But how about summertime (unless you are in Greenland)?

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by yoslos12

I keep searching for a way to stop or a reason to stop, but I've never found one good enough to be able to put up with life without them.

I do not think that there is any point in searching for a way to stop unless and until you find a reason to stop. Now, I am not an addict so I do not have a first hand experience, but I am just trying to apply common sense. If things do not bother you, why waste time thinking of how to stop them?

In terms of alcohol... there is a therapeutic dose of alcohol, so to speak. The exact dose varies if you read the guidelines from various authorities (varies by country), plus, it is twice as much for males versus for females, but still, at least in theory, there is that optimal dose of alcohol that helps attain optimal health and possibly extend your lifespan. So if you are more or less satisfied with your life and would not mind extending it, then limiting alcohol consumption to the recommended levels would be reason enough to curtail that behavior. But usually, people need to be in a fairly good place to begin with to start optimizing their alcohol consumption, taking baby Aspirin, and those kinds of things. If you cannot put up with life without what you call "escaping", then you are probably not at a place in which people start those kinds of evidence-based optimization moves. Still, think about that part.

[Leed]

Why stop? Have you ever seen anyone dying from alcohol poisoning or their liver having stopped? I have.

Their skin is yellow -- really yellow. Their eyes are yellow. A man of 6'2" weighs 100lbs. Nothing but skin & bone. There are tubes coming out of every orifice. Down the mouth, in the nose, a catheter, in the rectum; there are SEVERAL IV's; they are on life support because they can't breathe on their own. There is a feeding tube.

The family sits and waits for his last breath because the doctors say there is no hope. So they wait and wait.

Is this how you want to die? You WILL DIE if you continue drinking/drugging like this!!! Do you want to put your FAMILY THRU THIS??? It's cruel -- you're not thinking about anyone but yourself. Alcoholics and addicts are SELFISH. They don't think of anyone but themselves. I'm a recovering alcoholic/addict and i know how selfish i was -- and YOU are too!!!

PLEASE STOP -- PLEASE DON'T DIE. Hugs, Lee

[madisgram]

my method to escape "this cold world" which included emotional pain, etc. was to numb myself from life thru addiction. i sought help because i knew i was not really living. i needed to learn coping skills, etc. my method was seeing a therapist.
but if you are not in enough pain nor wish to change you will get what you get. it's up to you.
i do believe your posting tho is a cry for help, imho.

Powerful reasons for stopping, Yoslos12, and you have some serious work ahead to
get your system clean and functioning at high levels.

Believe what you are learning about alcohol. It is addictive, it is a depressant, and
it makes depression worse. That's the most gentle explanation. The real truth
is in the threads that inform you of the consequences of addiction and deterioration
on drugs.

[Perna]

Look at it from the opposite direction; why spend time escaping from life instead of living it? Spend time learning to live life, exploring and finding what you enjoy instead of being dull and dazed, anxious, and asleep? Thinking about things is not the same as actually trying/doing them; you can "decide" all you want that you don't want to run marathons but you can't know for sure until you take up running and give it a good try. So, using your head to limit your life is not a very smart thing; use your head to help you figure out what to try next. I love the scene in "Runaway Bride" where Julia Roberts tries all the different egg dishes to figure out exactly how she likes her eggs If you haven't tried it, don't knock it.

[yoslos12]

The whole summer thing isn't a problem. I'm in northern U.S. and stuff like that. I've seen a lot of people with alcohol poisoning (welcome to college) and seeing that has made me a lot more careful with what I do. The last few days have actually been really good to me though. I've been super tired like always but I haven't felt as bad and have tried looking at life differently. Starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel maybe but I've never seen the world as warm and caring. To me, life is always just making it through the day.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by yoslos12

I've seen a lot of people with alcohol poisoning (welcome to college) and seeing that has made me a lot more careful with what I do.

I would read up on harm reduction and learning the basic hygiene of alcohol consumption, such as not consuming alcohol without food and drinking lots of non-alcoholic fluids (tea, water, juice) alongside alcohol when you do drink. That is sort of the very basic and obvious stuff.

More than ten years ago, it was demonstrated through empirical studies that harm reduction with respect to alcohol is at least as effective as zero tolerance at reducing alcohol-related consequences. It sounds like you are, at this point of your life, clearly not into zero tolerance, so you should look up harm reduction and follow the harm reduction approach. I believe you are already doing it since you are already a lot more careful with what you do, as you said - so, good job.

I can see how in Northern US summer would not be a problem for you. I am in California and if I were cutting (I have never cut but have read a lot about it so am more or less in the know), our summertime would cause me to think hard about cutting. If everyone around you wears sleeveless tops and you do not, it would look weird, right?

[yoslos12]

Yeah, when I do use alcohol, I make sure I have other liquids with me. Usually my friends and I will buy the day old donuts at Walmart or something and a few gallons of water. I'm pretty careful because I want my "escape" but I never want to end up in a hospital as some of my friends have.

And with the SI thing, it doesn't matter too much because I have enough other injuries (scars from other stuff including burns) That people really don't think twice about it.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by yoslos12

Yeah, when I do use alcohol, I make sure I have other liquids with me. Usually my friends and I will buy the day old donuts at Walmart or something and a few gallons of water. I'm pretty careful because I want my "escape" but I never want to end up in a hospital as some of my friends have.

And with the SI thing, it doesn't matter too much because I have enough other injuries (scars from other stuff including burns) That people really don't think twice about it.

Water is good but I am not so sure about donuts. Not because I do not like donuts but because they are not a complete meal.

"Studies show that people who drink alcohol after eating a meal high in fat, protein and carbohydrate absorb the alcohol about three times more slowly than those who drink on an empty stomach."

Alcohol combinations - Éduc'alcool

[yoslos12]

Yeah. Well, it's also hard for me because I grew up with parents that basically showed me you can "be successful" with you job even if you're hammered every other night. So that probably didn't help with drinking. Not sure though...