[newlifeyeah]

hey guys! I'm new here, so far I mostly posted in the depression forum.

I now got the idea to post here due to the addictions that lead to my depression.

It's really hard to explain what's up with me, but basically I'm addicted to company. I'm addicted to girls. I'm addicted to getting feedback from others, and that's why I used to be addicted to parties and weed and friends, and girls - relationships.

Is there anybody else here who is addicted to finding "themselves" in relationships with others?
Depression has been lurking for me in the past 4-5 years due to the fact, that I was never really able to be myself. I always wanted to make others happy and on the road to that, I completely lost myself.

I've been depressed for the past 1 year now, and 6 months out of that unable to work and function due to fatigue because of my anxiety and depression.

I broke up with my last GF in october, and since then, I haven't had sex, and basically no physical contact with females. And now I just started to meet girls again, and I am so so so afraid, of slipping into addiction once again. I'm so scared, I don't want to sacrifice myself for another girl once AGAIN, but I feel like it's like coded in me so deeply, that it's sort of a natural reaction for me to get addicted to company.

I'm in a really close relationship with my mom, and I know that the way she raised me has a lot to do with this. SHe always been close to me. Really really showing lots of care, love and affection to me. As far as I can remember she has always been there for me, and I learned really to love and give a lot. To others.. but not to myself.

Is there anyone else with these "symptoms"?

thank you very very much, for reading!
In my "new life" I try to find a balance in between being myself and still giving and loving others, but I just find really really difficult to change my patterns, yet this behaviour made me end up in depression.

[Travelinglady]

Hi! I actually think being in a good relationship and having friends is nice, and I'm not sure feeling the need for them is an addiction. However, I can understand how breaking up with somebody can lead to depression.

Of course, we are here to be friends with you. But it's important, if you can, to try to find some other real-life people, too.

Are you in therapy? I think that would be a good idea. Therapists can be supportive and help people to have someone who is caring in their lives.

[newlifeyeah]

But I do everything for others and I try to please mysf this way. I falsely convince myself that this is the key to my happiness, if I give love to others. But in reality I just feel weak by myself and I "need" them like a drug. But on the long run it always cripples me. I have no idea how to handle this. How to become independent and happy without all the unnatural desire for positive feedback all the time. Yes I'm in therapy and I'm making good progress. But it's very difficult. I sort of don't know how to live...

[Travelinglady]

Yes, you do need to learn to do for yourself, too. I also tend to seek out validation from other people. I guess we need to realize that we are of value even if we don't have people around who are praising us.

It's nice to do things for other people, but as you are saying, it can get to an extreme.

[newlifeyeah]

you're right but it's so hard. I start to feel like I really need to move away from everything, by myself a bit.

It sounds to me as if you have an "oedipus complex" that has never been resolved. A
psychiatrist can help tremendously with that and therapy will free you finally from such
behavior left over from childhood fixation.

[JadeAmethyst]

IMO everyone is addicted to something to some degree,,,,