I'm quiting

Well, I had originally decided that I was going to quit smoking last night at midnight, but I have rrevised the quit date yet again! The weekend is here, and that means that my husband is home with me all weekend. I know that if I quit now, the first three days are going to be hell, and that will mean me being a major *****. I hardly see him through the week, because he works third shift, so when he is at work I am asleep, and when he is asleep I am awake. Since I don't see much of him during the week, I don't want to spend the entire weekend fighting with him (most of it would be just being irritable). This realization has made me come to the conclusion that I am going to wait until Monday, when he goes back to work, to quit smoking.

Before I was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder, my relationship with my husband, who is a wonderful man, suffered greatly. I was constantly nagging him and yelling at him because he wasn't doing things right. In my mind, the way he was cleaning or cooking was not right,(I am a germ-phobic person), and was going to cause us to get sick and die. I was really bad. I would secretly watch him clean and make sure that he did things in the proper order (clean the sink, then mirror, then toilet, put away the cleaning supplies, put the wash rag in the dirty clothes, dispose of gloves, wash hands and arms three times.)If he didn't, I would go behind him and re-clean it. I know it was tiring for me, but when I think about how bad it must have been for him, I want to cry. It was almost as though I was making him have OCD too.

I went to the doctor and was diagnosed, and my husband, who was always wonderful and always tried to help me finally understoopd why I was acting the way I was. I couldn't help it. When we go tthe diagnosis, he sat down and cried. He apologized to me for all of the times that he told me that I needed to get over it and let him clean his way. He apologized for all of the times that he yelled at me for staying up for three hours checking the door locks and the stove to make sure it was off. He apologized for how much I have to suffer because of this illness, and told me that if he could he'd take it for me. HE WAS APOLOGIZING TO ME??!?! I should have been apologizing to him-- and I was. For everything that I had put him through.

Now that he understands my OCD, and the rituals that I have to preform because of it, he helps me. He knows how I liked things done, and even though in his mind it is ridiculous, he does it my way so that I don't worry. He lets me go and rearrange everything in the house if I want to, he'll even offer to stay up after he has worked all night and help me. He says "If it makes you feel better, let's get it done."

So you see, my OCD has put enough of a strain on our relationship in the past...I don't want my not smoking to do the same thing. He says that he understands that I will be cranky at first, but I don't care...I love him and I don't want to make him suffer. He is so good to me, and when most men would have run for the hills, he sat up at night worrying about me and why I was acting strangely (before I was diagnosed with OCD). He's one in a BILLION, and I'm keeping him.

Soooo, to make a long story short, I am putting off quitting until he goes back to work to spare him from my moods .

I'm quitting on 9/11/2006 Cold Turkey!!!

Good for you for quitting and for thinking of your husband and how the first few days might affect him! My husband smokes but we have a special room in the house (for when it's cold out) and otherwise he smokes outside on the porch. He doesn't feel like he is able to quit so won't even try. :-(

Hi Randysangel,
There's another thread in this area where a few people are trying to quit also- I think it's called "Trying to quit smoking"-anyway, we're all checking in and telling each other how we are doing and giving support to one another. So, if you think that'll help, then I look forward to seeing you there. I'm trying to quit too.
Good luck! It's really hard and you'll fail a few times but you'll end up victorious if you stick with it!!!!

Yes, please join us in the quit smoking thread on 9-11!!!