[DivineLove]

Hello everybody,

In the evening there mostly comes the urge to eat, eat much, eat till I faint. I suppress my feelings by eating, suppress my inner guidance`s voice.

I want to do what leads me to well being, I want to do what`s good for me, but I consciously chose to eat, chose irresponsibility, chose weakness, chose self-injuring, chose suffering. I consciously lower my self-esteem by eating till faint, I know I chose the wrong, I know all the consequences of the decision to binge eat, and I know that well being waits on the other side, but I still chose to stay in the consciousness of irresponsibility, weakness, of a victim.

I consciously deny creator awareness, deny to evolve, deny to live in love, deny myself, my higher self, my soul, god, deny my well being, deny love.
I still see myself as a weak, impotent boy, still feel jailed. I seem to hate myself deeply to be able to hurt myself that much.

Eating is not the only addiction to hold myself in that low state of awareness. I also use some other tools like watching TV, playing computer games, and some other things doing online.

How do I break out of this vicious circle? I want to live, want to be creator, want to live my power, want to grow, want to evolve, but how?

I now consciously chose to live, I chose well being, I chose to love, love myself, love everybody, love everything, unconditionally love. I chose to be creator, I chose to live my strength, I chose to walk the path I am dedicated to, I chose to fullfill my life task!
You heard me, I`ve chosen my way, you may be my witnesses.
Thanks.

[thickntired]

Hi. Welcome to PC. I am also struggling with my weight and food issues. I'm not so sure we or I am weak for choosing food. I think it's a bad habit and I need to be educated and think before I respond to feelings by eating. Emotional eating goes beyond just a choice of yes or no. I think creating a habit of exercising and keeping healthy food choices in the house are good steps. You also say you feel jailed but do you also hold the key? The electronic devices you use can just contribute to a sedentary lifestyle which keeps the weight on. Maybe instead of living in the problem you could shift to living in the solution.

Peace

Tnt

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[smadams]

I believe it starts with a cognitive and conscious effort to make the change in behavior. Don't get me wrong, that is no easy task and back steps will be taken - but with little baby steps, progress can slowly be made. It is always being mindful of our choices and actions.

[DivineLove]

Originally Posted by thickntired

I am also struggling with my weight and food issues

I am not overweight and never have been. I am not struggling anymore. As a creator I am living by choice. My Life is only in my own responsibility. If I want something to happen I chose it to happen. If I don`t want something to happen I don`t chose it to happen. If it doesn`t work it`s a lection I can use for growth. It`s as simple as that. You just have to realize your power. But it`s paradox: In the awareness of a victim you can`t chose to be creator. So what do you do as a "victim" ?(Actually it`s an illusion; there are no victims, there are only creators. The difference is that former create unconsciously, latter create consciously.) A possibility is to ask higher levels for grace to enter the awareness of a creator. This requires the deep heart desire for a change of awareness, faith, persistence to make it happen. It`s a journey.

Blessings

[thickntired]

Divine love. Then why are you posting on an eating disorder forum??

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[avlady]

Divinelove welcome!!!

[JadeAmethyst]

wellness to you Divinelove!!!!